Unsupportive husband Started by: Danielle Grant
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AuthorPosts
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Hi ladies
I’m feeling quite down today. I’m booked in for surgery 29th July. I’ve always had a small bust and since having my 2 boys I now have to empty small sacks for boobs. It’s very depressing. So I thought evough is enough I’m getting it sorted. I’ve always said to my husband in the 10 years we’ve been together that I’ve wanted them doing and he’s always been upfront and said he doesn’t like them fake. However since having the kids, my unhappiness with my body is now overriding my concern for his feelings on it. So I’ve booked in…. But my husband isn’t being very supportive at all. He seems to think I’m doing this so I can get lots of attention and have people staring at my boobs! He just doesn’t get the physiology of it all and how it affects a woman. I’m 26, so still have years ahead of wearing bikinis and pretty dresses. Why can’t I do this for me? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m doing it, but I’d feel so much happier if he understood why. No matter how many times I try to explain he just can’t get his head round the fact that this isn’t about other bloody men!
I feel quite alone in doing this. 🙁 Anyone else??
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Huni this is not good! Unfortunately a lot of boyfriends / husbands react like this because they know how much the surgery will boost your confidence and you probably will want to show them off. But he needs to realise its for you! Not other men… So many men say they don’t like fake boobs and then love them. At the end of the day it will give you so much more confidence so surely he will love that! Just look forward to your surgery, speak to supportive friends and family and really enjoy your experience! Understand that he is probably feeling a bit insecure because he knows what a hottie you will be with your new boobies. But he needs to accept you’re having them done and just be there for you now. I’m sure he will come around 🙂 xxx
Sorry my typing/spelling was SO bad! Damn iPhone predictive text lol!
Thanks for your words Hun. I’m sure he’ll come round eventually. He really has no choice! It’s just upsetting at the moment. As you know, you’re dealing with all the nerves and anxiety etc and it’d be nice to have him reassuring me! I actually think he is the main cause if the nerves as I’m worrying so much about his reaction!
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Go right above his wishes!!! He is not being fair at all!! They’re such green eyes monsters men. Why can’t he see you’ll end up resenting him! Do it do it do it! Do it for yourself and make yourself happy for once!! Xx
Anonymous
0pmy boyfriend was exactly the same, but he loves them even more now, he doesnt shut up about them, dont let him put you off im sure he will come round when he sees how happy you are after x
Anonymous
0pI am glad that you are doing this for you hun
and not thinking about cancelling it because of his
views. He will come round eventually and at the end
of the day he doesn’t know how you’re feeling due to the way your boobies
look now so go get them done and I will guarantee afterwards he will be pleased that
you did! 😀
xxxNicole
0pHey Hun, my boyfriend of 7 years is EXACTLY the same! I’ve always said I’m unhappy with them and one day I will do it and he always says he’ll have to finish with me until May when I just decided to book and pay it off! When I told him he wasnt happy and isn’t very supportive, says he loves me for me which I am grateful for, but no men do not understand how important and the influence a womens boobns have on her!!!
My advice is just ignore him and tell him if he cant understand or accept why your doing and why you feel this way tuff! Your body and your happiness!!!
I’m 22 and loving life but its such a hold back on bikinis and clothes, so I know how you feel!!
Once its done its done!:D xxx
Thanks for your comments ladies. It really does mean a lot and makes me stronger in my decision! There is definitely no banking out, deposit paid and I’m doing it. So he will just have to get his head round it! Perhaps he will think differently when I’ve had it done and realises I’m not planning to become the next Katie Price!! 😉 hehe
Men…. Funny creatures. And you’re right, definitely green eyed monsters!!
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Karina
0pI completly understand what you are going through, im 23 and i have had three children and breast fed two. So my boobs are empty and hirrible. my husband at first was against it saying he wasn’t bothered and didn’t understand that it was so that I could feel good in clothes etc but then I explained how even though we have been together five years that I am starting to feel so unattractive and that I don’t even want him to see my boobs as they are now. he is slowly coming around and I’m booked in on the 22nd. I’m so excited, a little nervous too but I’m sure he will like the end result as he is a boobs man. how old are your children? xx
You go girl! I’m glad your so determined in your own mind. Just make a deal with yourself to enjoy the experience, and not let anything spoil it. This is your time so your allowed to be a little selfish!! After all your the one that’s gone through the childbirth and provided him with lovely children!! Xx
Katina- my boys are 2 & 4yrs. Yours? I’m dreading the recovery with them lol!!
Rachel – just looked at your pics and yours look fab! What size did you end up with the implants you chose?
Thank you all for your support. This forum is a godsend… Otherwise I’d be feeling very alone!
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🙂 thanks a lot x
I had 385cc unders from an A cup and measuring an E but look a D which is what I wanted. Most of my bras I’ve been buying at 34dd. They’re a bit on the tight side and band doesn’t sit flush with breast bone coz cup isn’t big enough but the padding stops after 34dd which is soooo annoying!! Quite lucky not any bigger really and can have the best of both. What sizes u thinking? XxI measure a 30D but look like a A/B cup. Apparently I have the width of a D cup without the filling! So I want to actually look a D. I don’t want to go big. I’m thinking 340cc??
Did you find the recovery time longer with the unders? As I’ve been recommended unders too but heard they’re more painful. I can only have 1 wk off work max! I work in the airport which is quite fast paced so need to be on form too.
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Karina
0pWell I lost my first but the my girl it’s three and boy was one last week. hard work so yes I’m dreading having time to recover with them ha. how do you see pics. do you have to be friends? could I add you Rachel? where are you having the op? xx
Oh sorry to hear that Hun. Xx Yes recovery with the kids is going to be fun!!
Yes to see pics you need to add friends xx
Sounds like he’s insecure but that’s totally his problem not yours. If he loves you he will support you cos it means so much to you and will put his own feelings aside. You need to do it for you don’t let anyone talk you out of it. At the end of it all he will probably love your new improved fun bags lol!! X
Well said Leigh! X
Honey I loved reading that you’re going to go ahead with it no matter what we will all support you, there are plenty of people out there ready to knock you down when you’re trying to better yourself for yourself (so make sure you use them to climb to rightttt to the top to reach your goals & dreams right?) unfortunately these people are mainly the ones you deeply care about & you respect their feelings so why wouldn’t they be the same…BAFFLING?!! He will come around eventually, you sure he’s not just being like this because he’s trying to make you prove to yourself just how much you want this? This is exactly what my boyfriend did, he told me if I got a better job (better paid, more hours etc) he’d get the loan for me (although I pay it..my income was appalling) & he did by proving I wouldn’t stick to safe & back out! Go get em girl, show him this site of just how many are chasing the dream & living it safely & are still in their current relationships “just the way you are” isn’t always enough, loveee xxx
Good for u Danielle, I totally know how u feel I am 28 have three kids been with my husband 11 years,list lots of weight and 3 kids later had very empty sacks 34aa.my husband were all for it until I actually decided I were definatly booking it got but jealous etc worried how men would react but now he loves them and I am the happiest I have ever been xxx
Anonymous
0pHi Rachel, I’ve added you , hope that’s ok …would like to see some examples of similar ccs as m so confused with it ll now xx
Thank you ladies! I think he will come round eventually. I think you could be right tho about the ‘testing’. I actually had to get his help with the loan too as I’m now part time since having the kiddies. And he agreed and wouldn’t stand in my way. But just makes it clear he doesn’t want me to do it. We’ll get there eh!!
Kate- kids eh?! Love em to bits but trashes your body!!
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