Well another day of hunting downs answers as to whst went wrong 🙁
This journey is a difficult one even when you do have the perfect outcome given the planning it takes, the recovery, all the ups and downs in between surgery and final outcome but the not knowing is the hardest part, ive had some months where i have completely ignored them and put it to the back of my head and just resigned myself to the fact that it will hopefuly all come good in the end, but then times where they are changing suddenly for the worst and a heightening of pain which leads me back to trawling the net for answers again, it’s consuming far too much of my time and my emotions that i simply dont have to spare due to my home circumstances.
Ive taken advice from realself which initialy i would not have reccomended to others, there are alot of novice surgeons on there but ive also taken advice from some highly credible surgeons and they have all given me more or less the same feedback and pinpointed the same four potential issues.
Im a very headstrong person i tend not to worry about things i can’t change it, i refuse to carry baggage that is not mine to hold on to and allways seek the positives in every situation but i have to admit this has me broken now, it’s not about comparing myself to others or not being able to accept i had limitations in terms of my personal outcome of a BA but just looking at them and feeling that this is not in my head something is very wrong and not knowing what it is is taking away any ability for me to make an educated decision on how to move forwards and try for a better outcome, sorry to vent here but i know most of you will understand xxx
