Anyone else's partner reacting badly to them having surgery? ;-(

I can’t believe how nasty my partner is being in the lead up to me having surgery in 2 weeks time. He goes through stages 1 min his really excited for me ,the next I’m selfish for spending all that money on myself . The thing is I’ve been with him for a long time,2 kids together ,I was thinking he would understand me more than anybody about how my boobs have made me feel so rubbish ;-( not actually be the one being nasty and calling me names for actually doing something about it to make me feel better about myself. Feeling totally not supported right now.feel like crying. It’s not fair ;-( xxx

Omg Kirsty I totally can relate to u my ops 8th may I have 2 children and in a long term relationship. I wouldn’t say he calls me names I don’t agree with that at all 🙁 but he is scared I’m going to change once having them done which I know I’m not as it will only make me happy and feel more like a woman, he has never even seen them in the whole ten years wev been together until the other week. He gets very excited for me and says some lovely things but then he’ll go quiet all if a sudden and be like I can’t believe your spending all this money we could have a new car (typical man) … I take no notice of him I never do anything for myself he goes spending shit loads on motorbikes and goes out while I’m left with the kidies which I don’t mind at all but when it came to actually going ahead and getting a consultation knowing I’ve waited a very long time already he was hesitant and I actually broke down because I never go out I don’t ask for much. Men will never understand I’m afraid and I totally feel for u bless ya it’s not nice having that support I lost my mum at a young age and my dads very strict. (He doesn’t know) hehe … but my partner is the only 1 I can only really turn too so not having his support sometimes is a big blow. I wouldn’t worry too much about it it will probably blow over. Your not alone in this huni but I totally believe do what makes u happy it’s your life your happiness, if he wants to get in the way of that fuck him! Xx

Aww Hun thats so sad to hear but it dont shock me if im hinest. May hr feels like you will leave him men also get insecure aswell belive it or not. I dont condone the way he may be acting with you but havr yoi sat and spoke to him. Aslo not to mention boobs attract MEN HAHA. Stick to your guns hun and get them done. Aslong as you have other means of support after the opp you will be fine. I hope all works ouy fpr you hunny xxx

@chloe thank you Hun for understanding what I’m going through! Yours sounds just like mine 1000%!! It is doing my head in! I think his being selfish for trying to ruin something that I have been waiting so long to have! He is the one making me feel like shit for doing something for myself . That’s bad. Shouldn’t be like that. I’ve had him say alsorts he said that I will leave him for someone else when I have them done, he puts me down about it. Which I just don’t get. He hasn’t seen my boobs fully since having my daughters 3 years ago due to them being sooo huge!! Then lost some weight and they went down so much and changed. He has seen how it effects me and he still calls me selfish! It’s like he wants me to be unhappy just because his being insecure about it! TBH Hun if he ruins this for me and makes me feel like shit anymore he will get told he knows where the door is! I don’t expect this sort of childish behaviour from a 32 year old! His had a right bollocking from my mum today too saying grow up or she will leave u anyway! How can they think we are going to change? If anything change in the sense will be more happy with what we see make us more confident? How is that a bad thing!! I wish he would understand it’s not fair. my ops the 15th may Hun 😀 bet you can’t wait can you , are you ready? I got all my bits yesterday so I’m ready now eeekkk xxx

@shauntelle I would expect him to support me after two kids later and years together. I find his behaviour more selfish. Then myself. I saved up every penny for the op. He hasn’t given me a penny. Which I don’t expect him too it’s for me so I’ve done it. But no one has gone without or suffered in the process . I have to get what I wanted so badly. No one else. So sorry I’m being selfish for doing something that will make me feel better than I do now . Iam going ahead wether his with me or not. If he can’t support me anyway he can get on with it. Not bursting my bubble no more Hun xxx

U sound like u have a very strong head on your shoulders, I’m sure you’ll be fine with or without his support. I know it’s so confusing as yes I understand men can be insecure like us woman no1s perfect and no1 is ever happy with what we have but being in this situation for our partners to put us down when all we want is something so simple (in my case feel like a bloody woman and not a little boy) how can they think that making us feel awful for wanting that is ok? Making us feel bad for them as they feel it’s going to change us. I said we’ll do u really know me at all? If u can’t support me that makes me even more unhappy can’t they see that being that way will drive us away not drive us towards them the wollys … bloody men ey the need a clip around the lug sometimes. There so worried about how it’s going to make them feel well what about us? I have the flattest chest honestly I wear jumpers in summer I’m that insecure I’m getting so excited to spending a summer enjoying going shopping instead of looking like a bloody goon and the odd 1 out covering myself. Don’t get me wrong I’m not going to flaunt them as our men probably think we will even to sit in a t shirt I won’t be sat there thinking r they looking at me? And covering my chest with my arms folded… I am so fricking excited it’s unreal!! I have just started getting all my hits together going to order a Macom Tuesday and get next day delivery so think I’m almost sorted r u? What size u going for and who’s your surgeon xx

This is your post and see how I’ve ended up ranting about my own problems^^^ haha hope your ok though and always here to talk xx

@chloe everything you have just said is so true! It will only drive us away. Need to understand why we are doing it and not think of there selfs. I’m sorted got everything yesterday had to pre order my m&s post bra in as didn’t have my size (36f) lol! I’m not having a macom. I’m not going with mya no more I changed my mind to another company but stayed on the page as it’s nice talking to girls going through the same . I’m a 34b now . I’m having 550cc high profile overs Hun . I’m in London 15th may for surgery. I can’t wait now couldn’t come quick enough 😀 what about you Hun? What you having ? Xxx

That’s sad to hear. That’s the last thing you want!
Yes I’m having the same problem but in a slightly different situation to you. I don’t have children or live with my partner yet so my money is all my own at the moment. He just doesn’t want me to go through with it regardless! When I first met him I was dead set on getting this done and was probably one of the first things I told him, but wanted to wait until I was older as I felt too young at the time to be thinking about it seriously. It has been two years since I met him and he is absolutely lovely about the way I look and says he loves me exactly the way I am which has made me more indecisive about going through with the procedure (wondering if I need it now that I have found someone who likes my boobs). But I always wonder if he just says those things to make me feel better BECAUSE I made such a big deal about hating them!
I’m beginning to really want this surgery again and starting to research more but so worried about what he will say. I’m quite a natural girl – I wear make up and love all things girly but because of my job and hobbies false nails, hair, or tan are a no-no! That’s something he really likes about me so (even though he always says I should do whatever makes me happy but he’d rather I didn’t) I’m really scared that by having breast enlargement he is going to be less attracted to me. I’ve booked a consultation without telling him.. just not sure how to approach this conversation!

From a very flat a cup (non-excitant) my surgeons offered me 325 350 375 I’m gonna go for 350cc but I don’t know what cup I’ll be but guessing from looking on here about a full c maybe d once recovery is over. So going to get my high impact m&s sports bra once the surgery is done as I have heard the macoms are quite uncomfatable but I thought there specialist bras for post surgery so they obviously are the best for the job well that’s what I think lol gonna give it a try to keep the puppies held up lol … just wearing the sizers was weird for me gonna be a big big change for me. It very prepared and excited not feeling nervous yet but sure I will closer to the time. I have my surgery in Preston 1 week tomorrow the countdown starts I suppose eeeekkkk xxx

Its a very big thing to go through surgery and changes and its one thing to say your not happy with the way you look its another to be strong enough to change what you don’t like, unfortunately its always true you need to put yourself and how you feel first its is fault if he changes like the wind.
Breast implants are more popular than ever its not a taboo anymore, be strong follow your heart ignore the childish words and remember why your doing what your doing here for you xxxxx

@jordan I think Hun if you have been thinking about it for a while and it’s always been in the back of your mind ,then it’s something you are defo wanting to do and you should defo go to the consultation and go from there and decide. That’s nice that he reassures you about them if you don’t like them because at the time it does make you feel better. But if your still thinking about it after his reassurance then you have to do what you have to do. You can get such natural looks from having your boobs done too. It’s personal preference Hun .say for instance he doesn’t like the big fake looking boobs becausehis used to seeing you in a natural way and it worries you he might not find you as attractive teardrop implants are really good for more of a natural shape and look ,it’s a option. I’m sure that wouldn’t be the case though boobs or not he loves you for you. That’s your worry more than anything but I’m certain it wouldn’t be the case. .. I’d go to the consultation first see how you feel after and if it makes you want it even more than you should bring it up again. I’m no good to tell you when as I don’t really know when the right time is lol. But He sounds like a good understanding guy that would support you xxx

@chloe don’t worry Hun we are all here to talk and it’s nice to know I’m not alone. As feel like I’m being put in a corner a bit right now. I’m not getting much support so would be nice to here . As you all understand. I didn’t go for a macom. Not had the best reviews tbh and there not cheap . I brought a m&s post op bra I went up a back size as recommended. They look great there really soft. Think there going to be really comfy. eeekkk not long for you now Hun a week countdown how exciting! 350 is gunna be such a great size for you Hun 😀 xxx

@viktoria thanks Hun 😀 you are so so right! It’s not about him! It is actually about how shit it has made me feel for so long and finally in a position I could do it and I’m not going to let him ruin my journey. If he can’t be supportive of me . I know you girls will understand. Thanks for the words Hun means a lot xxxx

@viktoria

@Kirsty that’s a lovely message, thank you. It’s really encouraging to hear it from girls all going through the same process!
Seems like you need to listen to your own wise advice though! If it’s what you want you deserve to be happy. People say nasty things they don’t mean sometimes, but what has he got to complain about! Personally, I imagine that the way most people feel after surgery is worth every penny.

I know these weeks have flown by can’t believe it’s only round the corner then you’ll be having yours done bet your excited too 🙂 good luck with the surgery and I’m sure we’ll talk again on here keep ya chin up 🙂 xxx

@chloe look forward to seeing your day on here Hun and how it went lots of luck to you too babe xxx

@jordan lol true Hun :/ that’s what I don’t understand what is he complaining about he will love it I’m sure. He goes from excited to really rude about it in a flick of a switch . I’m going to ignore the comments maybe if I don’t rise to it he will be quite! I’m doing it regardless . 2 weeks to go! 😀 let us know how you get on won’t you xxx

Hunny this made me so sad for you reading this. I’ve been talking to you for a while and you’ve been so bloody excited for your op so reading this is awful. Men are such shits sometimes!! Just remember why your doing this and who your doing this for and don’t let him put a downer on it. This is meant to be such a happy time for you and your journey should be a good one so don’t let his insecurities put a downer on this for you. It’s your body and your money. Take it from someone who’s had kids aswell and needed a little help feeling more body confident from it your 100% making the right decision. Chin up babe this time in 2 weeks your have your twins and he can like it or lump it! Xxx

I feel I have the same from my husband not as bad but he’s like I don’t like big boobs men will stare bla bla.
I’m about to go for a consult as I have been else where they have offered normal Breast enlargement but due to two children and breast feeding I feel I need a lift also I don’t want them sagging more in years. Lady said they will look more natural but I don’t want them sagging but due to skin sagging already although nipples are in right place I don’t want to waste money.

Could someone give me a rough price on implants and lift ?

Hi Kirsty and Chloe, sorry to hear your both going through similar situations.
When I was with my ex he was the same! And in the end I didn’t have the surgery. I spent years of my adult life being bloody unhappy! And feel that I wasted years of what would have been my prime. To be able to wear that dress or bikini if that makes sense.

Any way now separated and finally getting my dream. I’ve had loads of shit from my friends about it. And god I really took it to heart. Because it always hurts more when it’s digs from someone you expect to have your corner and understand. Let’s be honest if it was the other way round you would understand.

So here’s my advice to you girls. Go for it! Do it for you!! It’s fine too​ do something that people may consider selfish (when it’s really not) as mums and wife’s/girlfriends bet you’ve already sacrificed so much for your family. And it’s fine to have something that is just for YOU!! Don’t let them guilt trip you my darlings. And don’t let them piss on your parade. Jump back into the excitement of it. Soon your both going to have an amazing rack!! And I know for sure I just can’t bloody wait!!!!

@nicki you are so right! I’ve had a really rubbish weekend this weekend feeling sad and down about something I have wanted for years finally in a position where I could afford it so have gone for it. Why make me feel bad for wanting to correct something that makes me feel so sad . He goes through spouts of insecurity one min his excited for me the next he thinks I’m going to leave him for another man. You are right iam going to carry on with a smile on my face this isn’t about him sometimes you have to do what you need to do and that’s where I’m at. He can either deal with It like a man or I’ll go it alone anyway.either way I’m still doing it. I have surgery in 13 days time I cannot wait 😀 xxx

@natalie you know me Hun we have been talking a while . I’ve inboxed you Hun 😀 xxx

@chloe Davies

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