Backing out:(

I’m 21 this year & still at home with my parents, neither of them wanted to know anything about my BA after I mentioned it to them but this week they’ve decided to kick up the biggest fuss. They were going to buy me a car for my 21st but had it early so I’m helping towards the cost & they’ve now threatened that if I have “money on waste on something that isn’t needed” even though I’ve told them that it’s a must for me, they want to their £6000 back for the car on top of my other bills, insurance, BA & so on. Their doing this so that I can’t afford to have it done & my dad is making me worry about everything that can go wrong like blood poising & so on, I do not want to die haha. I’m due to have my op this Wednesday & have always wanted it, I’m using the spare money I have a month to pay for my BA on finance so can’t afford them to drop this car bomb on me now! Do I just get myself in more debt & take another loan out to stop them moaning & just suffer for 3 years or not get this done at all?:(

I wouldn’t let them win, no offence but I think that’s really controlling! They are probably thinking it will stop you having it, they will probably change their mind! How old are you now? Your an adult, hate that! My dad was at 1st against it so was my mum, I took my mum to all my appointments and she finally realised how much it affected me! She has now paid off my BA and I’m only paying her half back! They will deffo come round xx

Honey I certainly wouldn’t let them decide something for you. This is a decision you need to make – please do remember though that if you took your finance out more than 14 days ago (for your BA) or paid for it more than 14 days ago there is a very strong possibility that you wont get anything back – infact i think your only option then is to lose it all or pay £500 to get it rescheduled. Its in the contract we all signed. Don’t be bullied into anything – make this decision yourself 🙂

No offence taken at all, you’re right Kate & yes their trying everything they can think of to stop me from having it, that’s amazing of your mam bless her! I can’t even speak to mine, I’m getting bras delivered & sneaking them upstairs straight into my hospital bag & my surgery is next bloody week haha. I thought I read that too Kirsten! I won’t let them win, I’m finally doing something I’ve always wanted & with my spare cash so that I can afford it. They think I’m being disrespectful after they’ve gone out & bought me a car but I pay my half every month without fail after them saying they were going to buy me one out right for my 21st anyway. When me & my boyfriend were looking into renting, they didn’t have all this to say then but now I want to use my money on something they don’t approve of instead, their making me feel like the most selfish & diresectful person ever for going through with it! Xx

I obviously don’t know how your parents are but it sounds like to me they will say anything to stop you from doing it you are their daughter I doubt they will put you through so much stress after by making you pay back the money etc ! I didn’t have much support of my mum and none or my boyfriend I cried so much I felt alone but as soon as it was done they. Were running around after me they clearly felt guilty haha! They are most probably scared something will happen to you , and I would say I response to them what if something did happen to me and you didn’t even support me maybe that will make them think! But anyway don’t back out go for it they will forget you even had them done 3 months later xxxx

Deep down you are their little girl and are probably worried more than the money itself. I’m 43 and my dad stills calls me Totty as I was the smallest in the family (thought it might make you smile). They will come round eventually it must be hard at the moment with all the tension in the house and you having to sneak things up to your room. You are standing on your own 2 feet helping with payments. Don’t back out of it, just try and stay strong and show your parents that you really want this and it’s nothing to worry about. The most important thing is after the op you look after yourself and try not to get stressed (easier said than done, I know). They will be all over you after making sure you are OK, they will come round eventually. Let us know how you get on post op. Take care and stay strong.

Elishia, I am having a similar circumstance with my parents not approving of a situation (me getting back with my ex boyfriend) and so they are doing everything possible to make it known that they do not like it and throwing out this negative energy onto me about it. What you have to think is that 1. Your parents have lived their lives, made their choices to achieve personal happiness & 2. This is YOUR happiness. I don’t know how your parents would react if you said this to them but I’ve said it to mine and they’ve just had to deal with it because at the end of the day I am totally right in what I have said. Your happiness should be one of the most important things to anyone who cares about you. Of course they will have their reasons for you not wanting to do it and maybe tell them that you understand their reasons and have taken it all into consideration but ultimately this is YOUR life and YOUR happiness and so you should make YOUR own decisions. I don’t know wether this helps or not but I hope so. Let me know how it goes xxx

I haven’t told my dad as I know he would react in the same way , I think a man can’t understand but my mum was in the same boat as me and had a BA done so she’s been very understanding. Maybe try sit them down and explain to them how it impacts you emotionally and how it makes you feel? I know my dad would assume I’d just made the decision as a spontaneous silly thing to do but all us girls know why we need this. Write a list of how you feel to tell them if you get too emotional and flustered saying it all out loud. I don’t know if you haven’t done it already but might help hun ultimately they are your parents and should support your decision and I know I don’t know them but they’re probably just worried, hopefully if they see how much it means to you and how serious you are about it they will be more supportive xxx

Hi girls I wanted to comment on this post to let you know my parents were exactly the same. Before I had my BA I had auxiliary (armpit) lipo and I had been banging on Bout it for months, only one night I was getting ready to go out and they way I looked really upset me, I was crying and ended up going to my mums upset. She could see how awful I was and said ‘ I think u need to do something about this now it’s been going on too long’ this is some one who was completely against any form of cosmetic surgery. I told my mum I was considering getting my boobs done not long after I had the lipo and I think she honestly thought if it made me happy then she was. I sat down with my mum and showed her my surgeons profile and similar results etc she was happy I was doing it properly. Saying that I still haven’t told my dad because even though I am 30 I am still his little girl. I don’t think the best way to approach things is to say ‘I’m having it done’ but be grown up about it and explain your reasons why. Show them your research and say you really would love their support xxx

Don’t let them win!
As parents, their behaviour is disgusting. They’re supposed to love you whatever choices you make and hopefully they will come to their senses and prove that when you’ve had your op and they see how happy you are.

Give them the car back get you BA and confidence back. Buy a cheap run around and saw for an even better car and show them you can do things for yourself it’s really unfair to treat you like that xxx

Hey girls, my surgery is the 1st October.
I haven’t told my parents because I know what they will say.
“Its a waste, you could have bought this or saved for a house”
So I’m getting my surgery done: its my body, my life, my money, I’m an adult and can make my own decisions. Whether they like it or not, its happening.
I’ll be much happier in myself when they’re done, I’ve needed this confidence boost for ages and wanted a breast enlargement since college, just never been financially stable to do it. So now I am I’m grabbing the opportunity now!
I’m so excited, and my recovery will be at my house…. so god knows what they’ll say!!
Hahahaha! I’m too excited to bother about what they’ll say!
I feel like I can’t talk to them about it anyway, and my mum will fuss and worry because I have epilepsy haha!
Xxx

My parents were like this until I put my foot down . Go for it, if they moan on about wanting money back for the car etc, hand them the keys back and tell them to sell it! Why parents do this is beyond me I would never dream of doing this to my children. Its because of my parents I had procedures done as they always tormented me about the way I looked. If it makes you feel better about yourself go for it, its your life and you have to make the most of it 🙂 x

I would give ur parents the car back! Do they can’t use it against you! If I were u I’d always at some point look at moving out…maybe try and find a house coz it will be much cheaper than renting somewhere on ur own. That way ur parents have no control over you! Good luck Hun xx

Hey hun I was in exactly the same position as you. My mum has always made very rude comments about girls who get their boobs done and thinks it is done for attention. I was so scared and knew she would never approve and my dad, omg he would be even worst! I am 16 days PO and havent told them still. Its a real shame that as their daughter I felt unable to but at the end of the day its my body and my choice only I know how self conscious and disguised I felt with myself everytime I looked in the mirror. I have been wearing padding for the last 10 years and have not been anywhere near a man-the though of getting naked was a NO WAY for me lol. This is the best thing I have ever done, I feel like a new woman and I am so glad I just went ahead with it. Anything I can do to help let me know, it really is a personal choice and you deserve to be happy and confident, if this helps you surely its a good thing
xxx

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