difficult times after BA

Hi girls
feeling really low had my BA 6 days ago been through a rollercoaster of emotions and with the frustration of the lack of physical movement its all got on top of me.
Its a weird and difficult time as ive never had surgery before and so didnt expect it to be so restricting
Ive snapped a couple times at the boyfriend which has took 2 wks off to help me but with him running around the house getting himself majorly stressed at all the jobs that need doing and looking after our puppy (which is normally my job) hes making this harder for me he has left me laying stuck in bed for hours hours without a drink or food in the first few days when im stuck laying
I havnt washed my hair since last thursday cos i know i need his help he keeps arguing with me and leaving the dog barking and last night he hit me saying i dont cvare if your urting or if your stitches pop open and hasnt done a thing for me since again deliberatly left me laying im sweating all over all week and he hasnt helped me wash (i do the best i can alone)
my check up is tomorrow and he keeps saying he wont take me i dont drive hes suppose to be supporting me this all started as soon as we left the hopsital on the 22nd

Leanne… Hunny oh my days! This sounds awful…I can’t believe what I’ve just read. Hit you.. WHAT!! Are you hurt??
Babe, this is horrid , I’m so sorry you are having such a crappy time of it. Is this behaviour normal for him?? Do you have a girlfriend who could pop over to help you wash etc?
Here for you hun Xx

thanks maybe i should take this down do you know how to??
could inbox me if u like x

Oh Leanne how crap ;( sorry your having a difficult time man are very strange beings and they all think us women are mental he’s obversely got some insecurities about you getting yourself new boobs. Bit worrying that he hit you tho a man should never hit a women your worth much more then that. I hope things settle for you at home real soon and your boyfriend comes to his senses take care xx

Right hand side of post- hit edit.. I’ve pm ‘d u xx

cant see the word edit 🙁

Next to numbers – in pink… X

Oh Hun! U can message me if u like I am 3 days post op with a up lift and implants, I can’t sleep I cried last night coz I couldn’t get comfy! Just want to feel normal again! But u shouldn’t have to deal with this alone xx

Oh Leanne I really hope ur ok, I think ur boyfriend maybe jealous of ur new boobs that why not helpin u or anything, if u need anyone to talk to jus dm me, you shouldn’t to through this on ur own xxxx

O dear Hun :(, u no most guys don’t find extremes of care easy. Perhaps he thought you would be happy after you BA . Your op would certainly not stop you from making yourself a drink nor should you be layed up in bed . I have been told by my nurse surgeon and pc over the weeks not to stay layed up in bed as this can delay your healing, my surgeon said have a BA does not affect your strength as this is another muscle they place your implants under. I completely understand how hard it is to look after s puppy .mine is 12 weeks old now .
You should be able to wash your self Hun . At least give it a good go or ask a female family member.xx hope you get yourself back on track soon . Xx

Awh sweetie, sound terrible, now If hes hit you id be out of there! Any family you can stay with/help you? All the stress isnt good for your healing or recovery. xx

hi hun, I agree with @Em on this one, u need to keep strong. U can do it all. I have two kids 5 and 3, and taking care of them and myself without any help… xxxx

Lucia i am the same i have a 2 and 4 year old with very little help i am 7 days post op now it’s been harder than i ever thought x

It’s true iv got three kids one of which is a two yr old monster three dogs one is a pup and two cats , a very large house. Iv just got on with it , strangely it does help , obviously I don’t lift heavy things or lift my arms above my head . But it can be done . I found washing my very long hair in the sink easier swatting to reduce bending . Also blow drying my hair cusin I T style easier.xx

I’m 10 days post, my mum was over for first 4 days, but from day 5 I’m doing evrythingby myself. My nurse said it’s ok until I don’t feel pain, but I should care not to over do it> I just hope I don’t move or damage my implants :(, but I don’t have different option, so I just need to deal with it…. xxx

Hi @Lucia how are your scars healing ? Im checking mine every night . So surprised how quick they heal and how neat they look. As perents I suppose we just have to get on with it.
I forget sometime some of the girls on here havnt had children and don’t cope easy with pain ,sorry if I seem alittle tuff love. we have little people to look after so we just do get on dispite being tired . The most important thing for anyone recovering is to look after yourself .loads of water , little exercise , and hygiene is so important infections can course so may problems with a BA.fast healing and ciber Hugs to everyone .xx

I think you girls have to bear in mind that im pretty sure leanne had unders, which have a different & usually more painful/difficult healing process, also every girls different in their pain thresehold. xx

Hi Lucia can I ask how long you were off work if you were working at the time? This is my worry because im restricted to how long I can take.x

Hiya hun… it will get easier!
I had unders and from the very first day i was making drinks, food, and whatever else.
By day 3 i was able to pick my 2 year old up again.
Try it, you might be surprised how much you can do 🙂
I was told to keep moving as to not seize up, as such xxx

Hey @Em, scars looking good, still part of them under the plaster, as they were not healed properly on my 7 day post check up, but I’m allowed to remove them 2moro and have shower finally, yupppiiii. Will post some new pic then :). how is your healing?
Some of the girls can find my comments mean, but I just expressed my opinion xxxx

Not mean , just a can do attitude . It’s so hard to translate posts , I hate to think of the poor girl layed up in bed Grumpy not Evern getting herself a drink , I worry that the pre op girls think that this is normal . It’s not a major op. of course there are rules that help you heal faster , but they won’t stop you from doing things . Most girls are very happy mooded while in recovery. .@isabel I defonatly understand other girls have a very different pain threshold. Sounds tuff but pain or no pain looking after yourself is so important. Infections can course many problems and lead other problems in size and shape of your end result.if you can’t do it yourself for some reason . I think getting on with doing it yourself the only option.
While I’m in guroo mood . No hitting of and kind should be tolerated liane . Before or after your op. I do hope this is not normal behavior for your boyfriend! are you ok and not hurt in anyway . X ,I hope your recovery is good and fast Hun 🙂 xx

i didnt want you to think i was saying you were being mean- i didnt mean that at all, just i know every girl is different so i didnt want her to think her pain was just being disregarded. I was pretty much on my own from day 1 after my op, took no painkillers from night 2 and have had pretty much a painless & fast recovery. I completley agree that you feel so much better doing things, but thats only if you feel up for it! and for sure infections- if you are struggling to keep clean id reccomend gettting some antiseptic wipes and at least then you can throughly clean the area – away from incisions obvs!
Tbh im more concerned about her boyfriend situation- because that does not help things..and the last thing you need is to be staying bedbound in fear!
Best of luck xxx

🙂 I’m also worried for her .xx

Hun please let us no if your ok . Xx

Hun are you okay??? Xx

I’ve just seen this post for the fist time, I’m pretty worried about this, please let us know you’re ok doll, literally just a few words to say you’re ok, no need to go into details or anything if you don’t want to. Xx

Hi girlies, I already message @leanne but not answer. Really worrying if someone say they partner hit them!!! Just hope she is well

I’ve stayed away from this post for the last few days because I felt I had to bite my lip.. It’s true that you can’t interpret post or hear tone in voice etc however I personally don’t feel this was one of the forums most supportive threads. ( and by now I have read through several hundreds!)
Leanne said she was doing her best to cope with washing etc but that she was lacking in support from her man, she doesn’t have anyone else to help out and as such she came here to seek a little comfort, but in turn seemed ( in my opinion) to get a dose of extra ‘tough love’ . Now some times tough love is what a person would need, however on this occasion Leanne I feel needed a gentle approach with some love and concern.
The fact that she trusted everyone on here enough to divulge the fact she had been assaulted by her man is huge- it takes a lot to admit it and then again to tell others.
I PM’d Leanne that night several times and again the next day , I also PM’d Mod asking that Mya contact Leanne to offer some support too. I understand that client confidentiality will prevent Mod from giving feed back , but hope they were able to contact her and offer not only emotional support but also some advice/ contact details of domestic violence agencies.
Leanne I hope you are alright hun and that you haven’t been left feeling that this forum doesn’t care… We do a lot and as you can see from the messages above we just want to know you are ok. Please contact us on here or private message… Xx
I’m hoping you ladies see where I am coming from with this .. X

Very done Hun . Hopefully she will be ok. I’m a stern cow at the best of times but this post worried me a lot . It’s good to hear you done the right thing by contacting mya mod .xx

Omd I’ve just seen this post and tried to contact her but it keeps saying error. I’m quite concerned. Glad someone contacted Mya mod xx

Agree with @ mrsrich hope that all ok Leanne xx

my bf left me without food n drinkand made more mess than ever an left puppy with but food eck. i kicked him out and got dome friends to pop in when they could and everyone helped ne o make sure things were easy to get to ect.. once i kicked him out n didn’t have to deal with his selfish paddys i didn’t feel so emotional myself. and then he eventually started takin m out for dinner ect lol. his probs jealous because his not got to play with them yet 😉

A man’s mind is a tricky thing! Just like they don’t understand the woman’s mind, not excusing that a man is able to have that sort of behavior but, maybe sometimes men just sort of freak out with this type of stuff they feel pressured because they got responsibility that they maybe aren’t used to? I only just read this thread and its none of my bussiness but I’m also pre op so I don’t know, I hope I’m able to do most things myself il be doing this on my own :/

But hey hope your ok and I do know with any surgery its a faster recovery if you gradually start doing some exercise walking around to loosen the muscles? I had surgery before and I was walking around not loads but it helps so much xx

Poor Leanne. I’m really worried. Hope she is ok 🙁 x x x

Thanks mrs rich for your clear headed approach and action. Well done x x x

Hey Hun I had my opp yesterday n got home today I am so sore I never thought it would be this bad 🙁 feel like crying but literally so sore I couldn’t even get a tear out haha !! Hope u feel better soon and this restriction to do everything goes its sooo frustrating xx

Only just read this post :-(. Did anyone hear back from Leanne?? xx

No hun 🙁 she hasn’t been on for 3 days, I really hope shes okay xx

Aw bless her hopefully she is feeling a lot better and moving about that she hasn’t had time to come on ! Xx

Only just read the full post I hope she is okay and updates a status soon now I feel awful for moaning .. Nothing compared to what she has home through poor girl xxx

girls . . thnaks for the support but dont appreciate the judgement
I have a lifelong chronic health condition that means i live with chronic pain everyday so I more than alot of you know what the work pain means no i havnt had children and im sure with what i live with childbirth would probably be a breeze
To add lack of support and to NOT be able to get myself up from laying position . . for hours . . sweating feeling ill with my illness needing the toilet so bad and weak having not eaten for hours is a pretty much f***** up situation to find yourself in!!! and thats on top of emotional abuse . . no i wasnt in a good place at all well done to all you girls that handles it well and had plenty of support around you to make it a pleasant experience
as pointed out i came on here not that i wanted to but that i lost my mother only a few months ago and my sister doesnt want to know me i live in a town where i dont know anybody and have no GIRLFRIENDS around me i have my reasons and maybe this is an example
I get the jist there has been some slating on here that has been taken down as i asked for this to be takin off
this is not the first time my posts have been deliberatly misread and taken out of context i was in two minds to not ever join

appreciate the concern from the concerned i really do 🙂 thanks

I hope your okay hun I was moaning I was in pain from my opp yesterday but after reading this my god you have been through so much more ! I hope you are healing nicely and taking care of yourself as much as you can! Just think how long u wanted boobs and the pain will only be there for a little while and u will have boobs for life :)! It helps on here to speak to girls as I do have girls friends but non of them understand having not been through it. Here for you hun xxx

Glad to have you back Leanne..x 🙂

Glad ur bk and we know ur ok Leanne xxx

So glad to have you back hun, just want to say there are a lot of us on here that are going to support you, promise 🙂 how you doing?? Xx

Aww Leanne, don’t let people treat you that way. That’s not fair. You need help, but try taking things slowly, and if all else fails get some dry shampoo in your hair. It must be terrible for you at the minute. I hope it all gets better!

Glad to hear you’re ok hun, honestly. I really hope this experience hasn’t stopped you wanting to come on here. Let me know how you’re getting on love x

[Author]

Posts