Difficulty persuading the husband…any advice?!

I’m 30 next month, I have 2 children and got married last year.
I had a consultation with the PC and I left feeling so excited about the whole thing; but it was really hard cause hubby didn’t share my excitement, telling me that cost is an issue (which it isn’t anymore), and that he loves me how I am.
I have been uncomfortable with my boobs for as long as I can remember, and I feel embarrassed taking my top off around him (which is terrible, but has been the case for the last 5 years). My ‘milk boobs’ when I was pregnant were amazing, I went up to a c cup and although my husband denies this, he’s never paid them more attention!

I dont feel like I can talk to him about it because he gets worried and angry about the money, then I feel selfish for even suggesting it, then I just get upset about it…has anyone else had this?

(So sorry it ended up so long…!!!)

Aw it sounds like really tricky situation for you. Has he expressed any other worries aside from money, E. G. What if they don’t look like your boobs or ‘you’ any more, or anything like that?

I was lucky in that my partner supported me, but I think he would have been much more hesitant if I was going huge which would have totally changed my body shape.

I think it’s so important they understand we are doing it for ourselves and how we feel on the inside, despite being told that they like our boobs as they are. I was really appreciative that my partner loved my small boobs, and if anything that is what gave me the confidence to change them as I knew he loved me for me. I said to him how much that meant, and checked that he would still love them if they were ‘fake’. He said he doesn’t see them as fake as my boob is still there, just with a hit of extra cushioning, and for me they still feel like mine when he touches them, which is nice.

Maybe give him a little more time and check out whether he has any other concerns? Maybe share a few positive boob blog type stories with him from realself.com so he can see they will turn out OK!

Good luck, at the end of the day you have to do what is best for you, and hopefully he will support you in that. You’re not being selfish.

It’s a tough one. When I was younger my ex was very against the idea of a BA but I’m lucky enough that my current boyfriend has been nothing but supportive.
I think the important thing is to not let it cause arguments between the two of you, as he will start to see the idea of a BA as even more of a negative thing. Try and sit down with him and really explain how you feel and how little confidence you have, and what a BA could do to make you feel so much better about yourself. Sometimes I don’t think men quite understand how things like this can make us feel so self conscious about our bodies so may need a little explaining. Just keep it calm and positive and I’m sure he’ll start to see things your way!
As for money, if you have enough go for it, and if not there are lots of options via finance, credit card or loans that he may feel more comfortable about.
Best of luck! Xx

Thank you both, I dont think it’s solely money, because that’s really not an issue, he just keeps saying he loves me as I am…

Whenever I try talking to him about how much id love to him to look at me in the same way he did when I was pregnant I just get so upset.

I like the suggestion about turning it into something positive, I get the impression from him that he sees it as something that he’d see on a stag do…if you catch my drift…

Serena, You mentioned that your ex wasn’t on board, is that what stopped you doing it previously?

I totally relate to how your feeling, my boyfriend was exactly the same! I’m 28 and we have 2 children and I have wanted boobs since I was about 14! Whenever I mentioned it to him he would either completely ignore me or get angry saying I shouldn’t mess with my body etc etc. In the end I decided I was doing it with or without his support so I saved and saved and had near enough the money so then got a credit card for the last bit , I told him and to my complete shock he said he would pay the remaining 1000, couldn’t quite believe it. So anyway had my surgery on 17th November, he hasn’t even looked at them yet, I know he’s not happy about it but he realised I was going to do it with or without his help, he will get used to them eventually! And honestly I’m so glad I’ve done it, so if you really want them just go for it. Sorry for long post xxxx

I’d try and have an evening just the two of you and tell him how much you want this doing and all the positive impacts it will have on both your life’s. My fella was supportive of me even though he said I didn’t need the op and loved me how I was, he even helped pay for my op. Are you wanting them really big or just literally so you feel more confident in your own skin? If it’s the latter then he will soon come round to your way of thinking if it’s making you unhappy. Good luck Hun xx

My boyfriend doesn’t want me to have it and it’s always the cliche of saying I’m perfect the way I am. I couldn’t care less on his opinion as it’s my body. I have my operation in the 29th of this month and he’s not happy about it. But I do not care lol.
I’ve wanted this for so long and I hate the way I look. If it makes YOU happy , do not listen to anyone else xxx

Personally, I’d throw the whole husband out, but that’s just me. It’s your body; don’t prioritise anyone else’s feelings about it over your own.

This forum is amazing, and so helpful!! I love it.
I’m not putting his feelings first per se, I’m just not sure this is something I would wanna feel alone in doing.
Such a good point about other men paying attention, but Im quite small, and when I saw the PC suggested 250cc for me…which I don’t think is huge?

I’d just like to be able to go bra shopping without feeling like im looking for the most padded bra there (which basically end up being t-shirt bras) and want to feel sexy, and for that to make my husband happy too…

Thank you so much everyone, I’m gunna run with the positive chat and try and persuade him they’re for him too ???????? xxx

do what i did… divorce him..

My husband is totally the opposite and is like a kid in a candy shop thinking about me with actual boobs however my mum isn’t very supportive and I find that harder because she’s always the one I talk to and trust with things. I hope you manage to work things out with him xx

Hi ????. I don’t want to speak out of turn, but picking up on what you said he think you might look like? Ie. What you might see on a stag do? Sounds like he might feel about insecure, my bf said to me that I would trade him in after I get my boobs. He played it off as a joke but if he didn’t feel like that he wouldn’t have said it.

Maybe tactfully try and reassure him that’s this is for you and in no way for the appreciation of other people. Sometimes it takes guys longer to see past their own nose! Lol

Ultimately go for it, it’s a life changing thing to feel womanly and confident.

Yeah, my husband is the one I talk to about things, my mum wouldn’t approve, but I don’t mind not telling her (lol)

I never really thought about him feeling insecure…I tried to have a chat with him last night about it and he just looked really uncomfortable about it. I said that others wouldnt notice, cause I just want to be able to keep my cup size without my bra on (haha) and feel confident enough to wear nice underwear. He just said that im beautiful as i am and that i should feel confident…he really doesnt (or doesnt want to) understand how I feel…ill try again this eve…

Personally I think most men are a bit worried about any male attention you may get after having them done and obviously your confidence….. at the end of the day although you are married it’s your body your choice surely he wants you to feel happy in your own skin, if financially you can afford it then go for it, I’m sure he will like the end result xx

Hi hun my partner was the same I think he thought oh boob job huge boobs he also asked me about a week leading up to my surgery if I was going leave him lol I told my partner I don’t care what he thinks it’s for him it’s for me I was to feel comfortable in my own skin he did come to turns with it I tried to so him the type of look I was going for which was a natural look when I showed him my boob for the first time which was today he did admit he thought they was going to be alot bigger think of your self hun he will come round to it I just don’t think these men understand fully good luck xx

@v1xta Would he consider going with you to a consultation and actually seeing you with the sizers in? Just to show him that your not going to change you just want your breasts to look slightly fuller like you’ve said without having to wear a bra, maybe if he hears it from a pc or surgeon he will be more understanding once he actually see for himself and listens to the opinion of a professional because it sounds like he’s probably just thinking, she’s fine she doesn’t need it it’s just silly, also I would stress the fact to him that this is something that’s really for your own confidence and you could really do with his support as it is a little scary thinking of having surgery and you’d really like him to show that love in supporting you and helping you through your journey on having your breast augmentation, and also maybe show him before and after pictures of women with the same size implants you are looking at having so that he can actually see a rough idea of what your outcome will be, you’re not being selfish and explain that your not going to be a barbie doll with huge melons on you haha, sometimes we have to do what’s right for us and maybe just explain you’d appreciate his support like you would do for him and if that all fails, try persuading him with the idea it can spice things up in the bedroom and leave that to his imagination haha hope he comes around to the idea for you xxx

Thats a great idea!!! Thank you so much! X

Don’t even try to persuade him, if you can afford it and want it, then go for it, this is for you nobody else x

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