I can't tell my mum I'm going ahead with a ba!

I really don’t think my mum will understand me getting my boobs done but it’s something I’ve wanted for years and I’ve made my mind up! Does anyone else have this issue?

@gina I haven’t had the same issue as you but just wanted to offer you some advice. If you don’t tell her and she realises I’m sure she will be more upset that you kept her in the dark. If this is what you really want I’m sure she will come round. My mum wasn’t overly happy with me when I had my first BA but when I explained how much it meant to me she offered to pay half for me. I am having my 2nd BA in March and she is fine with it now. Good luck hun. Honesty is always the best possibility. Good luck hun x

I thought my mam would kick off when I told her about my op but she was quite supportive…never thought she would be! So you never know your mam might surprise you too! Good luck, hope she’s happy for you! Xo

My mum really wasn’t happy either but I’m 5 days post op and we even managed to have a little joke about it all today. And trust me she went mental when I originally told her. I know it’s hard but it’s probably best you try and tell her. She might not agree or approve (mine doesn’t) but her love for you will be stronger than those feelings. Xx

Thanks girls..need to have a good think about this one x

Hi hun,
I never told my mum or dad and they haven’t said a thing I was in the same situation as you, it’s absolutely fine and nothing’s ever been said

I told my mum who is such a negative person and thought something was bound to go wrong she tried talking me out of it to the point we was having arguments but I booked my consultation and said I’m going with or without her but she supported me even though she wasn’t happy, came to all my consultations and asked the questions that she was worried about. Now 4 weeks post op she loves my boobs she smiles when she looks at them. So glad I told her and had her there with me, good luck xx

Hi girls

So I managed to tell my mum and she wasn’t happy about it, and she doesn’t want me to have this done, I think she’s so worried about me and about the process if it went wrong or what can happen in the future.
She still hasn’t spoken to me about it I think we are just avoiding the subject. She knows I’m going to do it as im booked for 27th of March. So scared but I know I will be so happy when it’s done x

I was so scared to tell my mam and ended up texting her. She didn’t really speak to me for a few days but she ended up watch ing my daughter when my partner took me for opp and were absolutely fine now. She always asks how they are and came to my app to get strapping off and is coming to my 6 week check in two weeks. She would have been disappointed if I’d went behind her back. Xxx

I was in a similar situation hun, id been mentioning it for years to her and she always blew it off, so i felt i couldnt go to her when i finally did book it and she was so upset that i hadnt involved her, but she is supporting me now, i think you should tell her! just so you know you have someone there for you should you need a lending hand, as ive heard on the first couple days – week your very weak and sleepy.

good luck chick xx

I told my mum from day one but she hasnt been the most supportive person but either way she will be happy as long as im happy it just takes people abit longer sometimes just tell her asap

When I told my mum she said why???
So I flashed my boobs at her and she was like omg amy where have your boobs gone.
Because I had always worn heavily padded bras I had kept it hidden.
She didn’t want me to go through with surgery but understood that it was something I needed to do so came with me for pre op

My mum was furious with me hun.
She refused to speak to for over a week (shes very stubborn)
I was distraught as I knew it was something I wanted and had to do for myself but I had only really created a relationship with my mum once I left for uni and had enjoyed 6 years of having a mum and a best friend rolled into one. I thought this was going to throw us back to where we were before because she is so stubborn and likes to get her own way.
I told her I was 23 and knew my own mind but every time I tried to talk about it she resumed her silence and refused to discuss it.

I went to my consultation alone and paid my deposit because for me, and my self confidence and MY wishes I was doing this for ME and she wasnt going to stop me.
I confided in my older brother (who I thought would take it worse that her- hes seriously protective) and cried on him about mums reaction but why I was doing it. He had watched me getting bullied through highschool but was confused as he said I am so confident now. I said I am but its me and I still have old wounds and I want this for me. not for other people, or attention, not for guys as I wouldnt get them out it’s not my personality, I siad its for me to feel more womanly, to feel more confident and to feel like I look right.

He then tried to talk to mum but she wouldnt talk to him either.
He knew my surgeon consultation was coming up, and I had asked him if I could recover at his house as I didnt think mum would care for me while I was recovering, I was worried it would add fuel to her fire and she’d say my pain and inability to do things for myself was self inflicted. He of course agreed but came round for tea.
After the meal he shut me and mum in the room at the table and told my mum she needed to speak to me, he told her I am going ahead with the op with or without her blessing. He explained that she needs to listen to me as I’m her baby girl and that once he listened to me – how could he say no or try and stop me. he told her to look at me, that I was her baby and I wanted her support, that its a scary thing to go through but I was willing to do it even on my own, so it must be important. He told her that even if she doesnt think i need it, or im beautiful without it, or she doesnt agree with it, that is fine but she needs to support me and give me her blessing. he said as a parent she needs to and should be pulled to take care of me no matter what her opinions are. we spoke and cried a lot and she agreed to come to my surgeon consultation with me (poor mr mounir! – haha)

anyway after he left it wasnt mentioned again and I thought she had gone backward. But on the morning of my consultation she said “what time are you picking me up them” she came with me and sat and listened and watched me be all marked up and measured. Mr mounir was fab with her explaining everything in depth to her. she came see the sizers and to my surprise she didnt even choose the smallest as the one that suited me most.
afterwards she said she didnt know how she felt but she would look after me. (babysteps!!)

anyway since then we’ve talked and talked and she is still upset but glad I told her and didnt go behind her back, i explained that her approach before my brother intervined made me wish i’d done it in secret and i think then she realised how much she was pushing her youngest daughter away.
she has thanked me for my honesty and involving her despite the path being a rocky one.

i feel so much better knowing i have her blessing and support even though she doesnt agree with it.

Literally yesterday we both had another cry as we have been much more distant with each other becuase she is struggling to deal witht he fact I am going to ‘mutilate’ my body but I am struggling because it’s a life changing decision I need.
We said we needed to stop fighting and putting each other down becuase we needed each other and things are still work in progress..

the point of my story is that some mums dont take it so well. and it is so so scary and hard to tell them if they do not agree. but this is for YOU just like it is for me and as your mum and parent, she will have to support you eventually, a mothers love is unconditional. and even now while we are struggling she siad it would have killed her if id gone through it alone and behind her back and upset and as mad she is at least shes involved and can care for me and know that I am safe.

Hope this helps, I know when things were difficult for me telling my mum and most girls parents are just immediately supportive, I felt very alone and ‘why me- why am i the only one with a mum thats not supportive’ so even if worst case scenario she isn’t happy… know that you aren’t alone but you can turn a corner even with someone as stubborn as my mother!

Vanessa that brought tears to my eyes x

haha dont nina i’ve had a hell of a ride with my mum since i booked before Christmas!
the long wait hasn’t helped I’m not having my op till april 7th!

I just thought i’d share a story that maybe not many girls see, when i was loooking online everyone was like “i told her and she was really supporitve”
it was hard feeling so alone! if girls know that not all mums react well but you can turn a corner and if they feel alone they can send me a message i’m more than happy to help! 🙂
xxxx

Thank you so mucg for sharing that..It is really difficult and I just don’t want anything to get in the way of me doing this..xx

this is about you honey so nothing should and nothing will!xxx

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