Mum totally against me having a BA

Hi guys,
im in the process of having a BA, (i have my PC consultation on saturday) and for years ive told everyone how when i was old enough i would get a boob job so its not a decison ive made overnight and all of my friends, sister and boyfriend are being more than supportive but everytime i speak about it to my mum she tears me down over it and just tells me shes not going to support me and that i need to reevaluate my priorites! im almost 22 and ive always had such a flat chest it actually knocks my confidence and i am now in a positon to afford getting a BA so its not like im asking my mum to fund any of it. The most ironic thing about it all is that i know shes had one done herself but shes never ever spoken about it. Has anyone else been in this sort of situation. xx

Hi Summer sorry to hear your mum isn’t being supportive about this, it sounds like she’s maybe forgotten what it feels like to wake up everyday and not feel happy with your body. I had my op last Wednesday and haven’t told anyone in my family apart from my sister as I don’t feel like they would understand or be supportive and I didn’t want the negativity when it is something I’ve wanted for years. It’s not about having the wrong priorities it’s about taking action to help yourself which you can’t really put a price on. I wish I had been able to do this years ago at your age (I’m 28) I say good for you, draw on the support you do have and if your mum can’t offer support I’m sure you will manage without it xxx

Hi Summer, I’m not planning on telling anyone in my family until after the op as I know they won’t be at all supportive. At the end of the day if you’ve really thought hard about this then you can be confident in your decision regardless of your Mum’s personal opinion on the matter. She’ll just be worried for you probably bless her! Good luck Hun xx

@steph Thank you! Exactly what i think, i dont want to wait a few more years and wish i had got it done when i originally wanted. @shell I live at home with my mum so its not something i could have done without her knowing in the first place anyway. i dont mind her knowing im just a bit disheartened with her reaction to it thats all, thank you both for your kind words xxxx

Hey hun I waited til I was 33 to get mine as I I couldn’t afford it and was really scared to go for it despite wanting it since I was ur age.

If u can afford it and have fully researched it I say go for it.

My mother has always been naturally huge (G-J cup) and she wasn’t happy when I brought it up. I told her after I had booked and put my deposit down and just said I was gona do it regardless but I just wanted her blessing.

Eventually she came round and supported me on the day at the hospital.
What brought my mum round was showing her all of the research I had done including videos and pros /cons as I was having a mini uplift with mod plus unders. I showed her all of the advice I had recieved on here too plus girls who had my surgeon.

U have the support of ur siblings and bf who I’m sure will support u in ur recovery.

The only regret I have is not doing it sooner as I feel that many decisions I made were based on a lack of confidence and self worth. I’m not saying my ba has made my life amazing overnight but my outlook and general feeling about myself has soared.

U only have one life to live and u can’t do it through making ur mother happy.

Hi Summer,

My mum is the exact same she doesn’t agree with me messing around with my body and be happy with what I have (I’m 20 now wanted one since I’ve been about 15/16 but was told to wait until my body’s fully developed) I invited her to come with me to my consultations so she can ask the things she’s worried about but she said she didn’t want to she doesn’t want anything to do with the process. She accepted the fact I’m gonna do what makes me happy but still isn’t supportive of it. At the end of the day this whole process is to help you build your confidence and make you feel happier and your mum should support you but if not I think you should just look to your boyfriend and friends for the support 🙂 defiantly go ahead with it, you’re old enough to make your own decisions ! Xxx

@Fran and @Lucy thanks guys feels so good to hear that other people have been in the same situation to me at some point. Obviously it would be great if i could have her support but you guys are right that i have my sister friends and boyfriend to support me. If it wasnt a boob job im sure there would be something else that she wouldnt support lol. Thank you for all your advice its massively helped xxxx

Hi Summer,

My mum is the exact same! I’ve wanted a BA ever since I can remember, my mum had hers done 3 years ago and seeing them and being with her throughout it all made me want boobs 100% more!

Unfortunately she isn’t supporting me with my descion because ‘I’m too young’ and ‘I should wait until I’ve had children’ but it’s not for her benefit or anyone else’s it’s for me! So I’ve booked my BA for 17th October and I’m so excited!x

@elliebannisterx haha thats a phrase i hear alot from my mum too, congrats to you going for it! What was her reaction when she found out you had a date booked and were 10000% going ahead?xxx

@fran32 @lucciicox sorry tagged the wrong people back xx

Ur welcome babe amd honestly don’t worry about the whole wait til uve had kids etc or body developing. I found that wearing push up bras daily from age 18-33 did me waaay more damage mentally (when u take the bra off ans everything gs just flat and spaced out) and physically I think that’s why I had to have an uplift.

The fact ur sis and bf are supportive is amazing as they I’m sure will help nurse u. Which would be wicked cos it’s two not one person. I’m sure ur mum will come around eventually as u have said ir sure shea had hers done too. Maybe she’s just concerned about possible dangers but it’s such a common proceedure these days and so advanced. Fxx

@summer2212 she didn’t say a lot, she said that it’s my decision! Which it is xx

@elliebannisterx and summer, I think it’s crazy how your mums have had BA themselves but are against you having it, they’ve been in your shoes and know how it made them feel so why wouldn’t they want their daughters to build their confidence too!

She’s probably just not supportive of it in hope you won’t go ahead with it but because you’re living together and you’ll really need that help post op, I’m sure she won’t leave you on your own at that point 🙂 xx

Hi,
My parents have always been totally against me having BA they couldn’t get their heads around the idea of me having a surgery that I ‘didn’t actually need’ I sat down with them and explained all the research I had carried out about my size I was going for, the incisions, the surgery itself and my surgeon. I’m 22 also and told them how I am an adult and will go through with the operation as I can make my own decisions now.
So I had my op and the funny thing was that my mum was so helpful with my recovery ! She helped adjust my pillows, get my pain killers for me etc. Her and my dad were so so helpful!
That was 6 months ago and they can see how much happier I am now compared to before. Xx

Hi @ellie1995, I’ve booked my surgery date which is in 70 days and I haven’t told my mum yet that it’s then, I’m going to see if she comes around to the idea beforehand and then speak to her about it but if she’s still feeling the same way it’s not going to make me cancel or change my mind. Don’t want to regret not having it done because someone else didn’t want me too. End of the day like you said we are old enough to make the decision so it’s up to us! Xxx

@summer2212 hey Hun, sorry to hear she hasn’t come around to the idea. My mum wasn’t keen on me doing it either but she knew she could never change my mind! (I’d moaned to her for the last 10 years lol).

I’m just wondering though, you said your mum had a BA but never spoke about it, do you think maybe she had a lot of problems with recovery and she’s worried for you? She’s probably being a protective mum as your her daughter at the end of the day. I think maybe if you got her to open up about her experience and why she did it, she might come around to the idea of you having one? Xx

Hi! Glad to have read this as I thought I was alone after seeing so many girls posting about there mums attending the consultations. Im 18 and my op is in 1 week and I only just got the guts to tell my mum and havent told anyone else in my family. She immediately said I was gonna look stupid and unnatural and that it was gonna go wrong and i’d regret it. Its extremley disheartening and i feel like i will never be comfortable infront of my family with my new boobs as they will judge me. However all i can say is remember the reasons you want it as it is your desicion and yours alone, nobody elses. Mums will always see there daughters as “perfect” and its more upsetting than anything for them as they will think they have done something wrong in raising you. But in time they will see how much it helps with confidence and you are always gonna be you so they will have to get over it! Just now its tricky, mind on the future xx

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