Telling my mam?!?!

It all seems a bit daft considering I am 21 so can legally do what I want without permission from my parents, however, I’ve told my mam about the researching into the BA and her responses to me are as if she’s disappointed but she has said she can’t stop me and I’ve told her I want her to be involved and know about everything and she said she does know everything as I’ve told her. I haven’t howver told her am booked in for my op on Friday and I would keep it quiet but with me being off work she would know as I email her daily from my works email.. Any suggestions what I could say or any girlies been through this whole nervous text to mothers? It’s my decision, I know just I wouldn’t want her to be disappointed, she would obviously be there for me no matter what it’s just I don’t want to feel I’ve let her down. It’s okay for her and the rest of the females in my family as they’ve been blessed with masssssssive boobies, me not so much!!! X

when I told my mum she was a little bit disappointed but she said she knows why I’m having it done but she just wishes I would change my mind. I think her point is more that she doesn’t want me to have the operation, worried about the risks etc.
you need to sit down with you mum and ask her what she’s worried or disappointed about and I think once you tell her how much this means to you and how happy it’s gonna make you she will understand.
The fact that you want her on board shows how much you value her opinion, explain that all to her and she will hopefully come round

Then you just have to slip in that it’s in 4 days.. Yikes!!
Good luck, you’re doing the right thing xxx

You don’t even understand how against telling my parents i was. Like i had in my head that i will not tell them at all but after a bit of research i realised i cannot keep it from them. i dont live with my mum so i thought i will text her and stay there for the week but there is no way in hell i am telling my dad haha! I basically just text my mum saying its something i wanted for a long time…. this is the text i sent her….

mummmaa i got sometyhinig to tell you. Dont hate meor shout at me or be mean to me but…on the 1st March i am booked in to get a boob job ive wanted one for ages and ages. Please can i stay with you for a week so you can look after me 😀 because i am not telling dad! I am not telling him and i wasnt going to tell you either because i dont want you to hate me or interrogate me but i know you would be sad if i kept it from you and lied. Sorry for not telling you until now but i was scared. P.s dont hate me or shout at me love you xxxxx

hahaha her reponse was…. Sweetie i dont hate you or mad at you just sad you didnt tell me and upset that you felt you couldnt talk to me about it. Have you done research into the compnay. Of course you can stay but we need to talk about it love you xxxx

Its really not as bad you think my lovely she will understand xxxx

You will definitely feel better if you tell her and you’ll enjoy the whole experience alot more!
I was soooo scared to tell my mum because i didn’t know how she’d react as she’s told me so many times before i shouldnt get one…so i text her because i found it easier than face to face…i didn’t want to see her first reaction when i told her!
But it all ended up okay and she’s fine with it and glad that I’ve confided in her for advice!
xxx

I couldn’t hide it from her as she would be even more disappointed and if it was the other way around, I would 100% want my daughter to tell me regardless of whether I agreed or not, I’ve sent her a text, am waiting for a reply and feel sick now too. She might not reply as I’ve said she can come to my house if she wanted to talk face to face!!! I will feel so much better going through with it if my mam knows and puts a brace face on for me! Let’s hope all mams have the same thought. She might be planning a hit man as we speak. Uhoh!! I’ll let you know when or if j get a reply! I will probably go home tonight and she’s standing at my front door!!!! I’m dreading seeing her name pop up on my phone now. Yikesssss x x x

I still haven’t told mine and my op is in 14 days.. I know she will understand since I’ve been talking about it for years but she lives up north and won’t be able to see me after the op so I worry shes’s gona be incredibly stressed out that something could go wrong. Still, saw the nurse the other day and she said I’d have to tell her if I don’t want her to feel sad and left out.. xx

hey hun!
i totally sympathise. my mum was the hardest part of this whole process and decision making.

When I told mum I was going for a consultation she was so mad with me. she shouted at me, told me I was being ridiculous and then gave me the silent treatment for 3 days straight. I live with her so everything was so hard.
I felt like I was walking on eggshells and you could cut the atmosphere with a knife.
I went for my consultation but didnt pay any deposits or anything knowing I needed to sort mum first. I brough it up twice after and she just stopped speaking and walked out of the room. I felt so torn as I wanted this op for me! It’s something I’ve wanted for a really long time and I was so upset at the way mum was being.

Anyway given mums responses I was worried about my 2 older brothers whoa re very protective and usually worse than mum. but i went to my oldest brother and told him about it and just burst into tears. He was really understanding and tried to talk to my mum but she still wouldn’t talk.
I went ahead and paid my deposit and spoke to my brother about staying with him while I recovered as I didnt think mum would take care of me…
anyway 3 days before my surgeon consultation my brother sat me and mum down and made us talk. mum was surprised I was going ahead as she thought her mood would have stopped me. but i explained my reasons and I told her I know she didn’t agree with it and thats her decision but I asked her to be my mum and support me anyway. my brother then told her that as a parent himself, he would go mad if his daughter told him she was having a boob job, but he said also as a parent theres no way he would leave his daughter to go through it alone, he told mum she should want to be at the consultation with me to know that the company is legit and to ask any health questions, and that she should want to hold my hand when i’m nervous and be there for when I recover.
anyway 2 days later my mum came home from work and asked what time I was picking her up for the consultation and she came with me!
Now we can talk quite freely and she knows my op date… she is still deciding if she will come with me to the op as I may just take a friend to reduce nerves as I think mum would make me more anxious… but she is going to take care of me when I get home.
so even when mums really aren’t supportive sometimes it just takes time and reasoning!
I really hope it goes okay and your mum is supportive, I know how alone I felt when my mum was being cold.

Good luck hun! let us know how she is about things xxxxxx

I’m sure she would rather know so she could be there to support you and look after you. I would definitely want to know if my daughter ever had to have surgery. She would probably be more mad if you didn’t tell her Hun. Good luck xx

My parents still have no idea about my boob job!! I’m 7 weeks post op! My mum and dad are both in their 60’s and I can’t be bothered with the lecture. There’s been enough stress in the family with one of my brothers having cancer and the other having tests to see if he has it too!! I felt guilty for hung ahead but there was no better time for me when I had mine done. The good thing is my boobs look no different in clothes as I used to wear a C cup bra and chicken fillets so if you didn’t know you wouldn’t know the difference unless you see me naked!! Lol I’m now 32E

My parents still have no idea about my boob job!! I’m 7 weeks post op! My mum and dad are both in their 60’s and I can’t be bothered with the lecture. There’s been enough stress in the family with one of my brothers having cancer and the other having tests to see if he has it too!! I felt guilty for going ahead but there was no better time for me when I had mine done. The good thing is my boobs look no different in clothes as I used to wear a C cup bra and chicken fillets so if you didn’t know you wouldn’t know the difference unless you see me naked!! Lol I’m now 32E

Nope, she’s still no happier. Its unbelievable how much more anxious I am as my mam doesn’t agree. I personally think she thought I would never go ahead with it!! X

I know exactly how you are feeling hun!
maybe write her a letter explaining your reasons and ask her to be a mum. tell eher you know and respect her views but you are asking her to respect your own now that you are a grown woman. explain to her that you will still go ahead with or without her blessing but it will be harder without.
ask her to be a mum, and as a mum to support love and care for you unconditionally regardless of whether she agrees with you. then give her time and space to reflect. im lucky i had my brother to help me out but for a while i didnt think she would ever come round xxxxxxx

I’m sure your mum will just be worried about how the operation ‘could’ go wrong and what goes along with having a boob job as its only really seen as a way to look fake?! I’m sure after the operation when your happier, more confident and your mum sees the outcome she will understand and become happier about your choice? She’s only being a parent and looking out for you I’m sure, my mum is exactly the same! I’m almost 3 years in remission and she’s still constantly going on about my safety and how she’s trying to protect me. She wasn’t happy about the operation either until we went and saw my PC for her to ask all of her own questions…x

Hi Hun I was exactly the same about telling my mum, she is so against me getting things like tattoos and piercings so I thought a boob job would be completey out the picture haha! But I finally built up the courage to tell her and she was so understanding, she’s even taking me for my op haha, honestly not as bad as you think, I’m sure she will understand xx

I never told either of my parents, the same as Jessica really, theyre both in their 60s and just don’t get it they’re very against anything of the sort and would be seriously angry! I paid for it myself and recovered by myself! They haven’t noticed and i didn’t really see it as a big deal haha xxx

My op is tomorrow and have told her, shes not happy and has basically said I’ve made my bed- lie in it! I’m praying that tomorrow will come and she will want to know how I am etc and eventually be able to see past it as I’ll still be her only daughter!!!! It has upset me so much and I’ve cried but I’m living in hope!! X

Oh god Emily, you’ve made me me so scared to tell mine, I’ve spoken to her before about it but she just says think about it every bloody time. Love my mum and her approval means a lot. I could do it without her knowing as I had big boobs I’m a size 32D but I’m in the mist of losing weight so they will soon go. but I need help understanding all the finance haha. Good luck to you Emily I’m sure she will come around mums always do xx

She will come round to it and if not, just remember you’re doing all of this for yourself and no one else! 🙂 good luck for tomorrow i hope everything goes well! xx

[Author]

Posts