Telling the husband

I’ve wanted a BA since for over 15 years. My husband knows, we’ve discussed it many times but it was always a “one day” kind of conversation. Realistically I never expected to be able to afford it.
2 years ago I decided to change my career, and am now a full time student nurse. I went to college part time and aced my qualification, which earned me a scholarship fund. I get money from my uni every year. Last year I used the money towards our wedding. This year I want to use the money to pay for my BA.
The problem is I’m really nervous about telling my husband that I want to go ahead with the surgery. In past discussions he’s always said he likes my boobs as they are, but he understands what I don’t like about them. I guess I feel guilty about spending so much money on myself. But I’m determined I want to do it while I can.
How do I start the conversation with him?

Hi Becky,

My conversation started on holiday when I was feeling like crap about being in a bikini. We ended up making friends with a couple & the woman told me she’d had her boobs done because of how they looked after weightloss. You’d have NEVER known they looked so natural.
I spoke to my partner about it when we went back to the room & told him how much seeing hers made me want a BA & how miserable I was. He knew I had money saved & I said I wanted to put it towards my op. We said once we went back home I’d do some research & decide if I want a consultation.
Before this, it was mentioned every now & then but nothing very serious. I thought he was going to say we could put that money towards a house or whatever, but he was really supportive. He’s always said he likes my boobs how they are, but respects it’s my body & my confidence.
I did feel guilty that I could be using the money to go towards our future but everyone I’ve told has been really supportive when I’ve told them why I want it.
Hope it helps a little bit xx

Hey, I don’t know how much help I’ll be because I ain’t married or anything.
But my partner always said the same, that there was nothing wrong with them and they’re great as they are etc. Took me about 6 months just to get her to agree to come to the initial consultant. I think the best way is literally the outright truth. Just say you’re really unhappy with them, it’s something you’ve wanted for 15+ years and it’s affecting your confidence An just that you’re really unhappy. Maybe ask him to go to the consult with you. Its the most nerve racking thing but I found when I asked her to come, she felt involved and she knew what was happening and she had all the information too so when we left she said she still doesn’t feel like I need it but she supports what I want todo and since then she’s been amazing. She researches with me, she comes to my appointments, she even comments on all the pictures I send her todo with boob jobs.

Also, you’ve mentioned you’re a student nurse/nurse etc. You deserve todo something for yourself and you’ve earnt the money todo so even if it’s jus to get him togo to the consultant etc it’ll be worse it. It’s quicker to jus rip the plaster off as they say really. My girlfriend watched many many breakdowns about how much I hated mine so I think if it’s your confidence An well-being that’ll help then he won’t have a problem xx

12 years I’ve been wanting a ba (I’m booked for 5th Nov, 3 more days to go yey!)
I told my fiancé i wanted one when i first got together he knew i hated my boobs and he was supportive as i was a long way from even getting one, till then i came into some money and thought stuff it I’ve got the money now and he became arsy at the fact my dreams were going to become reality anyway for my consultation i had no one with me he couldn’t get tome off work (he though i wasn’t going to go as it was 250 miles away and I’m on my own) i only booked consultation and train tickets he then knew how serious i was…..i paid upfront too.
Then as i got home he picked me up and i told him the ba is paid for and its booked 5th Nov and he’s coming with me taking time off work and he’s now excited.
Just tell your husband don’t let him put you off as mine nearly did but it’s your body your money xx

Hi! Hopefully once hubby realises your serious he will be supportive.. just wait till he’s in a good mood lol
You mentioned you’re a 2nd year student nurse, do you know what placememts you have for your final year? Is it possible you might get a heavy ward? I’d be careful about timings as you wouldn’t want to limit yourself at such an important time in your training?
Good luck xx

Thanks everyone. I’m really touched by your responses. Just need to pluck up the courage to tell him. Steph thank you for sharing. I’m expecting my husband to get arsey too once he finds out I’m serious. But I really did work hard for that money and we have a seperate savings account for our house deposit which I’m not touching. I don’t expect him to contribute since this is for me alone.
I have a couple of consultations booked for December when I’m off. I’m hoping he’ll come as I want to get the surgery in the Easter holidays. I’ll be back in uni afterwards rather than on a ward so no heavy lifting.

I totally understand what you mean by feeling guilty i have 2 children and tbh they want for nothing and I’ve always went without once i paid upfront for my Ba couple of days later i started crying thinking i was selfish spending all that money on myself so I’ve just gone and booked Disneyworld for them and they find out Xmas day which I’m paying for on my own too so now i feel so much better lol, hell be arsy at first but there’s nothing he can do once its booked lol xx

That’s a really lovely idea. My 2 are a little older now and we’ve already got a holiday booked for next year. I was thinking of treating my husband to a trip to Iceland next December though. We went a couple of years ago but didnt see the northern lights and I know he wants to go back. Hopefully he’ll be speaking to me by then ????

Good luck for your surgery too. Excited much?! What are you getting? Xx

Would love to see the northern lights beautiful…..im sure enough he’ll be speaking to you by then hahaha.
I’m getting 285cc under HP, I’m currently a 32a now. I’m really nervous but excited as been wanting one for years and the days finally came but yesterday I woke up to a sore throat got no fever though…….im just praying it doesn’t get postponed xx

Aww you’ll be fine sweet. It’s probably just stress taking it’s toll cos you’re nervous. Plenty of time to rest up afterwards.
I spoke to him about it last night. He’s not thrilled, said I don’t need them but its my money so do what I want. I think he’ll come round once I’ve had my consultations. Really excited now!

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