Unsupportive bf and family.

It is SO hard to be happy and excited about getting a boob job when everyone that is close to you is putting the idea of getting it done down all the time. I have to take a week off work to get my op done, I’v got my boyfriend of 5 years in my ear constantly moaning that ‘we could have gone away that week as its the only week I get off work all year and I am making stupid decisions’ getting it done at all. My Mum doesn’t understand at all, she has HUGE boobs and I don’t at all, its so hard for her to understand where I am coming from. I know I will take the week off work and living at home with my parents I will get 0 support and only told it was a silly thing to do and I can only blame myself for being in pain and if something goes wrong. Makes me wonder if I am making the right decision at all. Anyone else had this problem? I see a lot of support if given on here and this is the only thing giving me some hope I won’t be alone! xxx

oh sweetie, it sound’s like your in abit of a predicument. But in my eye’s the only people not making the right decisions is your family and boyfriend for not supporting you and giving you there guidence through something that for any women is a life changing experience..Luckily my fiance completly understands my reasons for wanting my boobs to be bigger. He said im perfect in his eye’s the way i am but if it’s what i want and it’s going to make me happy then he’s happy to be there to support me. My parent’s were not as for it though to start with. But i explained and said my mind was made up, id done the reasearch and saved the money up for a few years and that was that. Soon enough they accepted it, my dad even came to see mr kazzazi with me to discuss sizes etc! and my mum is in full swing buying me bra’s and making sure my house is clean and tidy with everything done and dusted so there’s nothing to do but take it easy and recover when i come home. I cant say i fault your boyfriend and family as they are more than likely only looking out for you and thats only natural. My advice to you is.. Be strong, keep posative dont doubt your dreams by other people being negative. Lay your cards down on the table and say your minds made up and your going ahead. like it or lump it. this should be an exciting time for you just like it is for all us other young women having it done. you’ve always got people on here to speak to if you need a little time to stress and have a breather. keep smiling and be head strong. if you dont go ahead with it, it may just be the biggest regret of your life just think about that ♥ xxxxx

Hi Ji haven’t even dared tell my folks I’ve had it done. I’m 2 weeks post op and apart from my friends noone else knows. Maybe once I’m out of sports bras and I’m able to show some proper cleavage they may notice. I don’t think mine would understand why I have had it done and they’d go on at me about how I’ve paid for it. I’m a single mum and have 3 kids and have worked hard to fund this myself and if you look at my before pics you’ll see why I wanted it done. Telling my parents would mean I’d get grief about what I could have used the money for but at the end of the day this was really important for me, like im sure it is for you. I’m sure your family and boyf are just concerned cause they love you. I managed to plan my op around my parents going on holiday and my kids being with their dad. My friend looked after me for a few days but in all honesty I could have managed on my own. Stay on top of your pain relief and don’t over do it in the first few days and you’ll be fine. I’ve no regrets having it done and would do it again tomorrow. You’ll love your boobs when you’ve got them done and I bet your boyf will have no complaints after either. Good luck with it all hun. I’ll add you to my friends. xx

Hi Jill, do you have any friends or relatives that you could stay with?? I’m sorry for saying this but I think it’s incredibly selfish of your boyfriend and mum not to support you. A holiday would be over in a week and you’d probably be left thinking ‘I could have had my boobs done with that money’ trust me I know!! And your mum doesn’t see your point of view because she has a big chest (my mother is the same) whether it is because they care too much or because they don’t agree with your decision, it is YOUR body and it is YOUR decision and whether they like it or not it’s up to you and they should want whatever you feel is best for you. Hope you are ok, and as others have said on here already, you have many people on here who will be supportive of your decision as we have all either gone through it or are waiting to or planning to in the future. Chin up! Ask a few friends or if you have an aunt that likes to spoil you, go stay with her for a few days and get some rest 🙂 xx

Well said Claire x this is something that will change how you feel about yourself and see yourself forever x don’t forget this is a positive for you no matter what anyone else thinks xx it’s about you not them xx yes you need their help but they are not the only ones who can help you xx my sister in law reacted the same way when I told her what I was doing we r very close and I was hurt by her reaction x she has always had dd cup boobs and has no idea how it feels to be an a cup with tubular breasts at all . But if I offered her Botox or a face lift she would snatch my hand off x everyone has something about themselves that they would change if they got the chance maybe ask your mum and boyfriend what they would change if they could then they would see exactly where you are coming from x once I had my op and my sister in law saw them she was very different as she had seen my boobs before xx I think some of it is definitely jealously that you are changing something to make yourself feel better. Although you boyfriend doesn’t say it he may be secretly worried that once you have had them done you will run off with someone elsexx chin up Hun xx I waited 25 years for mine don’t let anyone steal your thunder xxxxxx

I was terrified to tell my mam as she has big boobs & i really didn’t think she would understand..when i told her she says well i know uv always been self conscious wen it comes to them so as long as u can afford it its ur decision.. She told my dad when i wasn’t there & he didn’t understand said how we could do so much more with the money & how there is more important things 2 b buying. I was scared to see him but when I did he questioned me about it said i was mad but said he knows iv always wanted them done so he will support me. Once ur mam & boyfriend see u near 2 tears talking about them im sure they will change there minds. Gud luck Hun. Its horrible thinking people are against u getting them done. But ur doing it 4 u!! I’m sure when they see u in pain afterwards they’ll b there 4 u. No parent likes to see there child in pain! Xx

What you need to remember is that they love you, they’re probably just worried. It is a big op and you will be in a lot of pain afterwards. They’re probably just finding it hard to understand why you would put yourself through it, because like you say, they have no idea what its like. I say ignore them. Your family are always going to be there for you even if they do disagree with your decisions and once they see how happy you are post op, once everythings settled down, they’ll forget all about their reservations. Same goes for your boyfriend, if not he obviously doesn’t deserve you! You’re doing this for yourself, ignore the criticism and trust your instinct 🙂 xxx

It’s possible that your boyfriend might be insecure and think your doing it to impress other men. My Bf asked me that question. I’ve been with him 10 years and would honestly not do it for that reason, he loves me without boobs so I wouldn’t want to be with anyone else. He knows how self conscious I am of them and he said he’ll support me. I haven’t told anyone else as I really couldn’t care about their opinions. I see that most girls who tell their friends have negative reactions, prob just down to jealousy. I haven’t told my parents, my mum god bless her can’t keep a secret and I think she’ll just tell everyone! People who have this done don’t just do it lightly, if you’re sure it’s what you want then other peoples’s opinion shouldn’t matter. It’s your body xx

I had the same problem, but mine was with my dad, step mum and nan, I’ve got my op booked for 1st June, although my dad and step mum haven’t come round to the idea, I don’t care as my husband is paying for it after knowing how much they affect me, I managed to talk my nan round by explaining that I haven’t just suddenly decided to have this done, I’ve been researching it for years and have got the best surgeon doing it, I will be in pain afterwards but I can live with that if it makes me happier for the rest of my life, add me if you like Hun xx

such great advice thank you all. No Claire I have no family near me and no friends either really, 1 friend and she has 2 young children so I’d hate to ask for her help. I will speak to my family again. I actually just showed my boyfriend this site and explained it all and he seems to be coming round to the idea, which is good because I need him to drive and pick me up from London after the op once I get it done as there is no way my parents will come and get me!!
You are all so right it is my decision I think my mum is just scared I’ll go too big or something will go wrong. I know a few girls who have had a breast enlargement and they have all lost friends over it, jealously I’d guess. At least on the plus side of having no friends I don’t have to tell any anyone about me getting it done and risk loosing them as a friend!!! You have all been such a great help. Thank you all so much xx

It was the hardest thing to tell my parents – they are very old fashioned and think you shouldn’t mess with what you’ve been given, and I’d otherwise agree, but my feelings about this override that. I knew I had to tell them! I didn’t get it done about three years ago because I wasn’t ready to tell them. Mum was more worried about me having scars on my body and any problems and health concerns, thinking the surgeons would just hack away at my body and not care (that’s how she said it) but when I explained I’ve wanted it for years and I’m not happy she started coming round. She stills isn’t happy or agrees with it, and I wouldn’t be if my child came to me saying that, but she is supporting me and taking me to consultations now. And Dad got very upset – he said it makes him really upset that I’m not happy with my body. I said I am it’s just this! I said it’s like people dieting to change their body, or having braces to change their teeth – they agree with that (and maybe your parents will too) and I said it’s only because it’s surgery, but it’s the same idea – changing something your so unhappy about.

You have to give them some time to come round to the idea. Your boyfriend yes he’s moaning but he’s still taking the time off and taking you there – so his actions speak louder than words. He does want you to have it done otherwise he’d have said no. My boyfriend said he doesn’t want to come to the consultations but he’s taking a day off work and taking me to London to get it done – so secretly I know he likes the idea!

I’d just say talk to them. It’s hard and embarrassing and you’ll get upset and cry but it’ll show them how strongly you feel about it and how unhappy you are to put yourself through surgery and pay a huge amount. That’s not a decision you have made lightly. Tell them you understand there not going to agree or like it and you shouldn’t expect them too, would you if your child said that? But you tell them you want their support and their blessing that they appreciate you have told them! I hope it goes well! And good luck. Keep your chin up xxx

so I spoke to my mum… and my dad.. mum said she is only worried that something will go wrong, dad said if its what I want then go ahead I am old enough to make my own decisions. Since speaking to them mum has taken a real interest in it all, asking lots of questions and we can openly talk about it now. my dads even taking my to the hospital and picking me up again after! I feel so lucky and happy they understand. thank you for all your comments it really helped! xx

[Author]

Posts