Well my experience today!….

Don’t really know where to start and let’s say one thing I deffo feel like a massive idiot…
My admission time for the first trust was 9am today… I was due to have 410cc/460cc breast implants with mr Traynor…I spent most of this past weekend and more so last night pacing up and down questioning if this is what I really wanted! My mind racing with all the what ifs and worst case scenarios it’s safe to say my head really did run away with it’s self and I knew some of my worries where totally ridiculas…after a sleepless night last night I woke up still not knowing what I was going to do! I decided I would make the journey to the hospital and hopefully by then I would know… I woke my 2 girls up extra extra early and felt guilty gettin then ready when they were tired etc was I being selfish? My partner and I set off I had my bag packed and one minute I was having the op and the next I wasn’t I really was doing his head in with it all! We hit the motorway and wat was supposed to b a 50min journey took over 2 hrs with the traffic! Was this a sign it wasn’t the right thing? We eventually arrived at the hospital when something clicked..I couldn’t do it! Not tidy anyway I felt the timing wasn’t right I was questioning the actual proceedure at this point did I Ben want big boobs? Would they suit me? Would i like the feel of the implant inside me? A thousand questions that probably don’t even enter most peoples minds…I walked Into the hospital without my bag and explained my feelings to the lovely cath who works there she was brill she gave me a cup of tea and said she wouldn’t be happy with me having it done now she had heard me say I was 100%sure..she got me Traynor to come and see me and I told him the same just that today wasn’t the day for me! He too was really nice and said it wasn’t a problem and why didn’t I postpone till I was sure! So that’s why I have done…it’s an extra 500 pound but figured it’s worth it if I know I am doing the right thing…I will know over the next few days/weeks if I regret it and at least I know then next time I will go ahead?!

At the mo I’m feeling a mix of emotions I wasn’t excited about my op which I found weird I felt like I was having something done I had no choice over! I need to rethink the whole thing now and keep looking at my bras and thinkin god I should be sat in that now! But one thing is for sure today wasn’t the day for me – I feel soooo stupid though infront of friends an family etc and even a bit guilty for some of u guys who can’t wait for there turn! I will
Know over the next few weeks what I want to do and at least if I can il re book and start the whole process again and actually think it through properly I feel like my health isn’t the best so need to sort that too go to the eat the right things etc… See if I can be happy in my own skin before doing anything as drastic…thanks to everyone on here though u are all such a support network and all so brave too ha!! Hopefully I will rebook soon as I have wanted this since I was 18 but only time will tell if I want it enough xxxx

Anxiety and nerves won today! I feel like a fool and can’t stop thinking about it all and getting upset 🙁 xx

Omg good for u girl!! Completely agree if u weren’t 100% then u shouldn’t have gone through with it. It’s a big thing to go through.
I was so excited for mine I practically ran down to the operating room!
Good for u for sticking to ur feelings. U shouldn’t feel down it is good that u are waiting! 🙂 xx

Hi, don’t beat yourself up about it. At the end of the day you did what was best for you. I suffer from awful anxiety and I have had to fight with myself to get my surgery booked. Mine is in two weeks and I’m bricking it!

At the end of the day it’s your body and your money, do exactly what you feel is right with both and ignore what anyone else thinks. Sending you hugs x

If u wernt sure about it then u did the right thing. And ur not an idiot u did the right thing for you.

don’t feel silly you have done the right thing; if you had such serious doubts you have definitely done the right thing postponing it I wish you all the best what ever decision you make xx

Just remember that you chose not to do it today for a reason. You can always book it again when your ready and the only difference is that it’ll be postponed by a few weeks/months/years or whenever your ready. But imagine if you regretted it – think how much worse you would feel then! And if you then chose to have them removed or live with them not truly being happy. You definitely did the right thing and can have a bit of time to mull it over! How long have you wanted it for? I’ve wanted it for about 5 years but still if I start to over think it all it makes me nervous! xxx

Thanks everyone…I do feel gutted though now…this is wht I needed to prove to myself though.i have even thinkin it through for 7years on and off Hun…also I may have to pay in full if I decide to go ahead again just spoken to my PC 🙁 xx

Awww babes!!! That’s such a brave decision to make. I think i would of kept my thoughts 2 myself & went through with it anyways!! I cant believe how much courage that must of took!! Don’t feel like an idiot ur anything but..!!! Maybes u can be happy in urself without them..massive hug!!! Xx

Awwww babe, I was looking out for you yesterday! I had a bit of a moment once the surgeon came and drew on me thinking shit this is it, and I had no one with me. Had a little cry in my room and remembered why I wanted this for me. You’re totally right to make sure you wait for when you feel ready. Keep talking to your PC and you know you can talk to me about stuff, I think we were in the same boat. Big hugs xxx

Since reading this post the other day I’ve been feeling the same!!! Some dats I’m excited and some I’m just thinking I shouldn’t do it. Glad your okay I suppose we can only do what feels best for ourselves xxxxx

You definitely did the right thing if you weren’t 100%, maybe just go over all of your research again and right down all your thoughts so you can look back at them as when the nerves kick in you sometimes forget why you really want to have it done xx

I felt like that but I knew if I didn’t do it then I never would have! Everyone is different and I’m amazing you felt strong enough to say noo x

Thank u all for your lovely comments I am gutted today to be honest that I didn’t go through with it I worked myself up so badly but suppose at least now I know it’s what I want and next time – whenever that will be I will be 100% Rachael hope all went well for u hunny I was thinking of u xx

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