Advise sorry not surgery related.

My boyfriends mother is going on a cruise in the next few weeks. And she is taking my boyfriend daughter to his first marriage and hasn’t given our 2 boys a second thought. Am I bring silly thinking to much into this? I can’t help but feel she has chosen her yet again over our boys. My oh left his wife to be with me and I’ve never felt like she liked me. Am I the only person who thinks you can’t treat you gran kids any different I know my mam would and she has 8!! Sorry my other half obviously see nothing wrong in this! Xx

Hey Hunni personally this would probably upset me too. However for some reason I think grandparents have a strange ‘feeling sorry’ feeling from a child from a broken home.
My son is from an ex relationship and me and hubby now have a 1 year old little girl. Although my mum would never exclude either of them from anything I know she let’s my little boy get away with more and feels sorry for him a lot more. She would never admit it but I know she feels he needs extra attention because of his ‘situation’ which is just bull in my opinion as we treat them both fairly.
Maybe talk to her about how you feel? X

I agree with lenna, would upset me to. its not fair on your boys or you and ur partner. maybe explain to her how you feel…she may not realized how things look xxx

Thanks Lenna. We are due to get married next year and she is driving is apart as can’t let this go and he can’t see any wrong in it. She blames me for him not seeing her and also her, I didn’t make him leave, but couldn’t careless how long it is before she see the 2 boys. She has 7 gran kids in total. The thing is they don’t need someone who can do that to them. Xx I’m so angry right now I want to leave !! I’m meant to be enjoying my new boobies and I’m not they have spoilt that! X

I feel so fed up today! I am so emotional I don’t know where we can go from this!! X

Hi,
Just seen this.. I don’t think she does it on purpose, maybe in this case it could be that she feels closer to the other grandchild as she’s a girl, maybe she wanted “girls only” and they has a longer relationship (don’t know the age difference)..It could be the boys are a handful and she wouldn’t cope with more than one at a time?( mine are like that).. It’s too many variables, but I doubt that she did that to annoy you. Don’t let it ruin your recovery or your wedding plans. The less you think negatively the better for your heart.
She’s probably completely oblivious to it.
Besides, surely it’s her right to take whoever she wants on the cruise..can she afford taking then all??.you shouldn’t feel that she owes you anything.
My mother-in-law charges her own daughter to look after her own grandchildren, so I know exactly how you feel. I’ve learnt to accept that’s who she is, and not to let it bother me. It’s taken YEARS I must admit, but I’m over it:) Obviously! Lol

You are right in saying she can take who she likes and it ££ per cabin not by person. She is the only girl, so if it’s and ” only girl grandchild she wanted then she will miss out on so much, as other 6 are boys! It’s not the first time she has done something like this. I think I’m more pissed off that she went ahead and done it, and isn’t obvious to how it looks. yes she is older so maybe more company. But when I don’t think she likes me and like the ex better it does feel like a personal dig at me. I may sound nasty but in doing this I don’t want anything to do with her and my children don’t need a part time grandparent as she doesn’t make the effort to see them like the girl. She felt the need to tell me when she thought she had a right about his daughter so I know get the opportunity to do the same about my boys. Our relationship will never be the same! X

Id be very annoyed. All grandchildren shud be treated the same. She cud hav sed Ill take the girl and said next time round itl be the boys turn.

My nana used to take one of us then next year itd be next ones turn etc.

Thanks Laura. I totally agree, my mam has 8 and make sure they are all treat the same and sure as he’ll will be the same when I’m blessed with gran kids! . Im furious, she won’t answer any of my call or texts! X

Sounds like ur kids are better off without her as they get older they will realise who she favours.

My mum has 4 grandchildren and treats them all the same.

They certainly are Laura. It’s blatantly obvious who she favours. One of our sons heard there dad telling me and asked if he was going, he was devastated and didn’t understand why she wasnt taking him. My children do have there moment as every child does, but they are well behaved majority of the time and have manner. X. X

id be annoyed but maybe age and bond has alot to do with it.

how old are ur boys and the daughter xx

also if she has 7 grand kids then thats a awful lot to pay for them all to be fair xx

i can see where ur comming from id feel the same but also on her defense maybe she takes the ability to be involved with the boys as much as possible for granted and feels she has to gra every opputunity with the daughter that she can xx

best thing to do is to let it all blow over and not give her the satisfaction of letting it bother you because maybe if she is spiteful shes doing it to destroy your relationship.

as for ur man hes a bloke theydont get bothered about things or analyse like we do.
all ur bf is gunna see is the fact that shes bonding with his daughter which is a good thing.
xx

I do understand age will no doubt be a factor as mine are 7, 4 and 20 months, the daughter is 12. The other 3 boys are 12, 9 and 3. It’s the blatantly making her look the favourite. She never makes the effort to see my boys yet can make the effort to see the daughter. She would never see them if we didn’t go down. She the type of woman that can pick and chose when to see them. If money is an issue then she shouldn’t be taking anyone, she isn’t going alone as it is ther will be her brother and sister in law. Another thing that has annoyed me is thery recently had birthdays the daughter and my two oldest boys have birthdays within days of each other. The daughter got her the day before her birthday,she made sure she had it and then she made no effort to contact me or oh to get boys there’s in end my 7 yr old waited 4 days to get his and sent my 4 yr olds. She hasn’t once asked to see them. I probably am overthinking this but the woman drives me insane and has no thought towards my 3! Xx sorry for rant! Lol xx

i know how you feel i honestly do my parents only see my son once every few months and we live twenty mins away thats by walking lol.
they dont bother with him at all.
im pregnant now and i know that if its a girl they will wanna have more to do with it but i wont let my son be pushed out.

i understand where ur comming from i really do and i get bitter and angry and jelouse with what i feel towarfs my parents so you can imagine how hard it is to stay calm.

i do think age also plays a big part but the best advice i can give is to stop giving a care because ull end up going crazy with rage like i once did and that only causes problems for ur relationship and ur mental state
which is basically letting the woman win.

i hope this doesnt sound harsh i dont want it to come across that way xx

Not at all ALB is good to have other ppls opinions. X

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