any personal stories or advise please! xx

hiya girls, dunno if any-one can give me advise on this but i have never had good body confidence, never took my bra off during sex, never got undressed infront of bfs etc, my 1st propper relationship i was with the guy 4 years, he never made me feel good about myself, id ask for sex and he would turn me down almost everytime i asked even though he know i was plucking up alot of courage to just ask.

I went to see a councellor but didnt rli change things, he cheated on me and was seeing the girl for a few weeks and then told alot of our friends at the time “lauras just jealous cause she had a perfect body and big boobs and everything laura doesnt have!!” so obvs that knocked me alot- so for all those reasons i did NOT stay with him lol.

Ive been with my current bf for 2 years, and he has made me feel so much better about myself but i still cant show him my boobs, dont like getting undressed infront of him etc. I just dont wanna have the surgery and then still be that same afterwards and realise maybe i just have an issue with showing my boobs. Has any-one else had that issue?? sorry for going on and depressing you all!! xx

awww babe men are such knobheads!!! aarrgghh ive had my fair share of them. karma wll get that arse hole trust me!!!! u have to think to urself “u know what? fuck him” u need to tell urself u are fabu,ous and that ur gonna do this for you!!! and that one day ur gonna see him out and ur gonna look even more amazing because A- u will have fabulous big boobies and B- ur confidence will make u radiate!!!! and thats when he fucker will realise what karma tastes like! i hate men like that…im a model but my confidence isnt the best and my ex was cheating on me trying to get with another model who had big tits and apparently earned a fortune in glamour modelling ( hje was always pointing out how skint i was) .. i havent yet pointed out to him that ive worked in glamour for years and that the chances are shes doing adult work as there really isnt massive money in glamour ( im saving that one for when he really pisses me off) the dickhead still calls me an texts me!! hmm grass isnt greener springs to mind!! u need to change ur mind set on how u see urself!!! start now by saying out loud that ur fabulous and gorgeous and that if anyone says otherwise then they aint worth knowing!!! and keep doing this… because its true babe !!!!! looks are not everything its the person within. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx the boobies will just enhance whats already perfect xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi hun,

I’ve always had really low confidence in my body too. I would recommend maybe speaking to your GP first to tell him/her that you’re thinking about having cosmetic surgery and see if they recommend something other than counselling before you go ahead with it. Only because, without wanting to sound cheesy, fixing something on the outside might not necessarily fix something on the inside.

I had a load of sessions with a psychologist and it helped me a lot – don’t get me wrong I didn’t all of a sudden start loving my body but it changed the way I think about things. I think I needed to fix my head before anything else lol!

I’m glad it seems like you’ve now got a lovely boyfriend who treats you as you should be treated

Feel free to PM me if you wanna ask any questions or chat or anything xxx

Thanks girls, i was offered to see a psycologist but was told id have to wait a year just to see some-one! so i turned it down cause i thought well ive already seen a councellor so dnt wanna speak to some-one else.

And susie its quite funny cause i do see my ex alot cause he is now with sum-one who shares the same circle of friends lol but we dont speak. So i hope he does see im much happier with my current bf, i just wanna be able to show what ive got i just dunno why i cant do it! so im hoping after the op i will be able to show them. and if not i suppose im gunna feel better anyway in a bikini/bra so not a complete waste of time lol x

The last thing you should do is have surgery to prove a point to someone. It’s a massive step, a lot of money and it should be for YOU and you alone!

Counselling is completely different to how psychologists work hun. If one approach didn’t work, you probably just need to try a different approach. I did my degree in psychology so could ramble on forever lol but I won’t! But I would recommend you try someting else if you feel as bad as you say you do. The waiting lists now have decreased dramatically.

xx

I was the same hunny, a man left me feeling shit about the way i looked, but if he was to see me now…… woohoo im HOT HOT HOT with my new boobs lol ahh i didnt get it done because of that loser, i done it for myself, best thing iv ever done, and i know it will improve my sex life as i wont be so bloody worried what i look like!!! Just make sure you do it for the rght reasons, so it for YOU, and no one else!!! If it will make you feel good, then go for it! xxx

Laura, before my op i never took my bra off in the bedroom, my boobs were saggy and horrible and not sexy, so because i didn’t believe i was sexy, i kept thinking that noone else thought i was either. Now I am very proud of them and would be happy to show them off in the bedroom. I guess if you are concerned that your problem may not be solved as easily as mine, then you really do need to think very carefully and take some advice before changing your body in this way, make sure you are doing it for you and not because of other people’s comments or to make yourself ‘good enough’ as you’re already great as you are and noone has a right to tell you otherwise.

People can say such horrible things and they can stick with you for life, I’ve seen counsellors in the past for low self esteem and thinking I wasn’t good enough and it really can help change the way you view yourself, it may be worth getting to see someone before you take the plunge to have an op as it might be trying to fix something that can’t be cured with an op, or that maybe you’d enjoy the results a million times more if you waited until you’d got things clear in your head about how you view yourself. Only a thoughtxxxx

I do want the surgery for the reasons such as so i dnt have to wear padded boost bras, so i can feel gud in a bikini, wear nice clothes n feel gud,i do want bigger boobs etc but cause i cant show them to my bf now, its just making me worry what if i cant after, i dunno why i cant not like there is something wrong with them or owt, maybe i just have an issue with showing my body its confusing cause i can happily walk round naked with my girl mates, and when i went for a consultation with transform b4 deciding on mya i tuk my bra off for a male surgeon then (obvs cause i had to), i tried joking to my mum after saying god i hope that surgeon felt privillaged cause hes 1st man to have a propper look at my boobs! lol x

Sounds like there’s a sort of mind block because of what that c*ck end did to you, you may benefit from some cognitive behaviourol therapy (CBT) to change your automatic reaction when that situation comes up, it can be really good. xxxx

Mybe now im a bit older speaking to some-one might help cause when i 1st went for the councelling i think i was 17/18 and i felt i cudnt fully tell the woman how i felt i thought she was looking down on me cause i was discussing how i felt during sex etc. Ive made what i think r big improvments -well for me! doesnt have to be pitch black ne more with a pillow over the tv lol, i just need to work on getting my bra off! I got really upset once i went to doctors and saw a woman who wasnt my usual gp, she just made me feel so shit her words wer “well have u actually shown any-one, im sure ther is nothing wrong with them”..”all i can do is place u on a waiting list to see a psychologist but u could be waiting up to a year.” !! lol x

some GPs are a joke, can’t believe she said that, as if she has the right to belittle your problem, which is big enough for you to seek help. Ignore her! Unfortauntely the NHS waiting lists for that sort of thing do take ages, i had to go private because the primary care trust lists are just months and months.

Would you be prepared to pay for a consultation with someone just to get an honest opinion as to whether you may benefit from treatment in their opinion?, so that you know where you stand? A professional would be able to immediately identify whether your symptoms are alined to common traits in other patients.

when i was 18, i would never have sex in the light, always turned the lights off, wanted to be covered with a duvet, wouldnt go on top etc.. as that meant i was on show and open to criticism, for me it took being in a relationship with my current husband for long enough to truly realise that i am good enough as i am and that the more i relax and show him how i really want to be in bed, the better it is for both of us xx

ive always felt crap about my breasts, i had a cry the other day when i was talking to my boyf as now, im completely happy to walk around topless around him instead of hiding and turning round all the time and we cant beleive the change. It always pushed him away as it would make me feel so stupid for being embarassed of my body and obv thats not sexy for me or for him. Another reason y i did it was because i was sick of wearing push up bras and heavily padded bras just to fill a top or dress properly and even then i wasnt happy with what that gave me. I feel infinitely better! There are a few hangs up i have as hey are still new and im prolly just being a worry whale but its the best thing i couldve done and just wish i had t done sooner. if u need to chat or message me then please feel free xx

Its things such as i dont like the shape/size of my boobs, when i lie down i have next to nothing, so the surgery would help for that but as much as id love them (hopefully) after, its just a case of can i show some-one else and i cant guarentee that. How much did u pay if you dont mind me asking? Wont be able to reply cause im finishing work so dnt think im been rude! thanks every-one for ur opinions xxxxx

I have private healthcare so i was lucky, got to put it all through there. You’re probably looking at about £150 for a private consultation with a decent physcologist hun xx

Hi laura21, just wanted to say I read your post and I can relate to it completely. When I was around 15/16 I had some serious upset at home and developed a kind of eating disorder; not full blown anorexia but lost weight and was very miserable. Ever since then I have always been very self concious about my body- boobs in particular.

Anyway when I was 18 I got my first ‘serious'(!) boyfriend. Oh my God. I thought the sunshine cae out of his arsehole when I first met him, but in actual fact he was arrogant, spiteful, and made me feel like complete shit. Sniggering at me etc. We split and I met my now boyfriend, who is the sweetest boy in thr world. He pays me compliments, he tells me he loves me, we have our ups and downs but we’re very happy. But even having him Im still very self concious. I never get undressed in front of him because I feel shy. Hes paying for my BA, because even though I know that they’re not a ‘miracle cure’ for self esteem, but they’ll give me the confidence to be the person I was always meant to be

*by this I mean confident about my body, and enjoy being me!

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