Feel so :'( really want to tell my mum- just dont know what to do!!

I’m having my BA on 9th jan, not long away now. i was so excited but now i just feel sad. i havent told anyone other than my boss and my bf. and i so desperately want to tell my mum but i just cant. i dont know where to begin. she is so old fashioned in so many ways and i know she would disagree with this. But i feel im going to have to tell her as she may work it out anyway and i dont think its fair not to tell her. I feel like crying

hi

I feel the same way, I want mine doing but cannot bring myself to tell anyone and I really do not want to! I dont know what to do…

Ive gone so long keeping it to myself but i have a son, and my mum likes to see him every week without fail so shes gonna work it out. i want to tell her but im so scared of her reaction im so upset xx

You should tell her – she might suprise you!

I was terrified of telling my mum, she’s very much like yours and has old fashioned values, but when I told her and explained how I felt about my boobs as they are now, she understood and has been so supportive(I never expected her to be).

Don’t get me wrong – it was hard, and she’s still asking me if i’m sure I’m doing the right thing, but as long as I’m sure and I’m happy, then she’s happy!

As a mum myself – I know that my main concern is that my son is happy, no matter what he does in life(happiness is all I want for him), and I’m sure that’s how your mum feels about you

xxxx

I so feel for you… I haven’t told my Mum either, and I really wanted to, but in the end I decided not to because I knew she would just be so worried and not understand why I was having it done. My Gran died of Breast Cancer, so I knew she would start going on about that too, and not to mess with nature. A few years ago I thought about having laser surgery on my eyes and even that was a step too far and her and my Dad got really het up about ‘going blind’ etc etc. I feel bad keeping it from her, but I’d feel worse to totally stress her out unnecessarily and I knew she would be completely negative about the whole thing. I have seen her since the op but she didn’t notice (phew, thank God for sports bras). If she asks me directly, I will tell her, but my sister had hers done too (7 years ago) and she still hasn’t noticed to this day. I hope you can find the right way to tell your Mum and make her understand and accept your decision, and hopefully support you! There were lots of days when I wished I could have rung my Mum to help with the kids, or just to be ‘looked after’, but couldn’t. I hope my daughter will be able to share things with me, in a way that I can’t with my Mum. Good luck.

I felt exactly the same but after much hesitation i just did it she was so supportive amd said she was proud of my for doing such a brave thing that was going to make me happy. I have had great sleeps since as it was like a great weight was lifted off my shoulders. You might be surprised by her reaction. My mum is 71.

I felt exactly the same but after much hesitation i just did it she was so supportive amd said she was proud of my for doing such a brave thing that was going to make me happy. I have had great sleeps since as it was like a great weight was lifted off my shoulders. You might be surprised by her reaction. My mum is 71.

Although I think my Mum might be suspicious though, because my little girl told her that ‘Mummy had a bad back’ and ‘had to wear a bandage’ whilst she was on a sleepover (that’s what we told the kids, that I had a bad back and poorly tummy). The next day when she dropped the kids off, she just asked me how my back was and I brushed it off as some kind of running-related injury. She has probably known all along, and here’s me thinking it’s a secret… Might all come out on Christmas Day after a few sherries! xx

I just don’t know where to start!

hey, i felt the same when I first booked my appointment..eventually I bought it up with my mum who was surprisingly ok. i thought she’d judge me or make me feel silly and vain but she was very understanding and mainly concerned about the safety of it all etc…she wont think u need it (like mine) but shel understand that its not rele her choice how u feel about ur body and ur happiness and that you’ve thought this all through. try it!

when i told my mom i was more embaressed, moms always think we are perfect as we are dont they, so her reply was “what do you want that for#” then after it was “you cant tell so why did you bother” lol, but shes in her 70s and im the first in our whole family to have this kind of surgery, but im still glad i told her as she has always been there for me, dont think it would have been right not to have, so my advise would be tell her, it wont be that bad im sure….x

Id just tell her youve made your decision to have it done so any reactions wont effect your decision.

I wanted to be 100% sure until I told people so it would be my choice.

I was considering not telling my mum as she would think im being up myself and want to look like Jordan! Shes quite old fashioned and traditional too.

I just came out with it one evening while we were having dinner, I dont know how I ballsed up to it. I just said so I’ve been looking in to and researching… I then said I was going to book an appointment to discuss it further. Instead of saying Ive already decided 100% so she felt included in the decision stage. She was mostly concerned about safety and that I was going for a natural look which I want too. She also would have been concerned about cost but I told her I was financing it all and this was the best time to do it while im young.

Shes actually surprisingly supportive and even said why dont you get it done the week before so I can look after you as she goes skiing a couple of days after my op. But my sis will look after me all week xxx

Id just tell her youve made your decision to have it done so any reactions wont effect your decision.

I wanted to be 100% sure until I told people so it would be my choice.

I was considering not telling my mum as she would think im being up myself and want to look like Jordan! Shes quite old fashioned and traditional too.

I just came out with it one evening while we were having dinner, I dont know how I ballsed up to it. I just said so I’ve been looking in to and researching… I then said I was going to book an appointment to discuss it further. Instead of saying Ive already decided 100% so she felt included in the decision stage. She was mostly concerned about safety and that I was going for a natural look which I want too. She also would have been concerned about cost but I told her I was financing it all and this was the best time to do it while im young.

Shes actually surprisingly supportive and even said why dont you get it done the week before so I can look after you as she goes skiing a couple of days after my op. But my sis will look after me all week xxx

Hiya hun!

I had this problem! My mam used to comment that girls who had surgery were vain and had mental health problems! So I was pooing myself to tell her!

Think it was about 4wks before my op I text my mam, basicslly saying id been for a consultation and I have severly under developed breast tissue so I have booked to have a boob job, I explained it was just for me to make me feel more confindent! Text was about 7 pages hah! She rang me straight back crying and said she was so happy for me!

So to reassure her I booked to see my pc julie again and she was fab with my mam sat with us for an hour and a half, then got mr t to see us!

My mam even offered to take two weeks off with me as my bf works away! So after mynop we had two girly weeks and she came to all my post op checks! Step dad just calls me jordan lol he’s not fased in slightest!!

Tell her hun, like me u may be very suprised xxxx

Hiya hun!

I had this problem! My mam used to comment that girls who had surgery were vain and had mental health problems! So I was pooing myself to tell her!

Think it was about 4wks before my op I text my mam, basicslly saying id been for a consultation and I have severly under developed breast tissue so I have booked to have a boob job, I explained it was just for me to make me feel more confindent! Text was about 7 pages hah! She rang me straight back crying and said she was so happy for me!

So to reassure her I booked to see my pc julie again and she was fab with my mam sat with us for an hour and a half, then got mr t to see us!

My mam even offered to take two weeks off with me as my bf works away! So after mynop we had two girly weeks and she came to all my post op checks! Step dad just calls me jordan lol he’s not fased in slightest!!

Tell her hun, like me u may be very suprised xxxx

My mum is a nurse and I live at home

Id booked my surgery and had about 6 weeks to go similar to you

And I just plucked up the courage and told her

Knowing she hates it because I’ve always and I mean always wanted a boob job

Bear in mind I’m only 21 – she was fine

Take the time to sit down and chat with her about it

Tell her what it means to you, for me it wasn’t about getting fake looking bojvs

It was about finally having something I could call breasts!!

She was amazing as I’m sure yours will be

I felt a little distant from her after as I gave her time to get her head around it

But during and after my op she was amazing!

And I had to tell her because I put her down as my emergency contact hahahaha

But being a nurse she was worried about the implications

I’m now just over 8 weeks and it’s like it’s never happened

If you get me. I’m living life like I’ve always had these bad boys

An id say my relationship with my mum is stronger than ever

She likes to know different things about it and how I feel and what changes wtc

My mum said the one thing that made her happy is I said

If I thought having surgery would make us fall out I wouldnt go through with it

She said it showed her how much I respect her and how much she means to me

If its making you feel this bad as it did with me then my only. Advice

Is to tell her. It will be fine xxx

My mum is a nurse and I live at home

Id booked my surgery and had about 6 weeks to go similar to you

And I just plucked up the courage and told her

Knowing she hates it because I’ve always and I mean always wanted a boob job

Bear in mind I’m only 21 – she was fine

Take the time to sit down and chat with her about it

Tell her what it means to you, for me it wasn’t about getting fake looking bojvs

It was about finally having something I could call breasts!!

She was amazing as I’m sure yours will be

I felt a little distant from her after as I gave her time to get her head around it

But during and after my op she was amazing!

And I had to tell her because I put her down as my emergency contact hahahaha

But being a nurse she was worried about the implications

I’m now just over 8 weeks and it’s like it’s never happened

If you get me. I’m living life like I’ve always had these bad boys

An id say my relationship with my mum is stronger than ever

She likes to know different things about it and how I feel and what changes wtc

My mum said the one thing that made her happy is I said

If I thought having surgery would make us fall out I wouldnt go through with it

She said it showed her how much I respect her and how much she means to me

If its making you feel this bad as it did with me then my only. Advice

Is to tell her. It will be fine xxx

I had exactly the same problem. My mum and I are extremley close and I see her a few times a week. Id talked about wanting a BA for years and she used to dismiss me straight away and tell me not to be so stupid and that i should be grateful to be healthy etc etc. She is against any kind of ‘un-necessary’ surgery! I went for my first consultation without telling her and I felt so-oo guilty that I ended up telling her Id been. She went mad and said she didn’t want to know anything about it!!!

That was in the May.

I had my BA in September without telling my mum. It was awful as we are so close and I felt sick that she didn’t know!!

Had my BA on the Thursday and I told her I was going away for the weekend otherwise she would’ve got suspicious at not seeing me.

Anyways I made my excuses until the following Wednesday then I went down to see her and I told her Id had it done. She cried!!! Was horrible but it was just the shock. I cried too. Once she saw that I was ok tho and that you couldn’t really tell in clothes (I had 365 overs) she was ok and actually started to talk to me about it.

I definately made the best choice in waiting until after Id had it done to tell her. This might not be the best solution for you but I would consider it. My mum would have worried and tried to talk me out of it if she had known for sure when it was. Think she was just so relieved in the end to see that I was ok afterwards and still ‘me’.

Good luck whatever you decide, it’s difficult xx

I had the same problem. I was so nervous about telling her. I told her 5 weeks before when I’d come home late from work because I’d had my pre op, when she asked where I’d been I just told her. She was quiet for a while but on the day I think she was more excited than me! Good luck xx

My mom has always known about me wanting my breasts done, and since I was 15 we’d argue and scream about it. Then she got breast cancer a few years back which made it worse but eventually they do come to terms with it – if its what YOU want then no one should stop you and end of the day, parents will fall out with their children over silly things but over something like this it wouldn’t be permanent. Stand your ground I mean I had to, and my mom even came to my initial appointment to discuss sizes with the doctor – they just need time to adapt, they never like to think the life they created wants to change themselves.

I’ve always spoken about having ba since my teens and my mum had never really said anything! So would she be happy 4me or not! So I took her along with me 4 the consultation with holly. Much to my surprise she was fine and we had a laugh, feeling and looking at all the different sizes, putting them on our heads and all parts of our body! Lol, which broke the ice about the subject. It helped her coming along so she could understand why I wanted them done. I have 2 boys and she offered to look after them while my dad drives me and the hubby up to the hospital our my new additions! It’s nice that she and my dad are helping with the kids and r absolutely fine and come to terms with the ba. It’s very hard telling ur parents as u don’t want to let them down and want to make them proud of u, but believe me and others on here have said it…..ur b very surprised how they react. Don’t be scared Hunni and good luck xx

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