Girly advice… none boob related! please

hey ladies,. some advice please..

i split up with my bf of 5 year 4 month ago.. we have still been friends. with benifits and were both really sad wen we split but felt it was the right decision at the time coz we grew up alot and changed since me being 16 and him 18… anyway since we split he had became mate with all his old ‘female friends’ who he claims hes always been friends with etc.. which i belive but wonder why has he not been ‘friends’ with them for the last 5 year? i never stopped him having female friends.. as i knew he had none… or none of the sort of how he’s friends with now..

we are discussin getting back together and he asked ‘how wud u be with me being friends with lasses?’ which i have no problem at all with as long as i know who they are ( if some random lass pops up who i dont no im obv gunna be like who the fuck r u’.. i feel like i shud be introduced to them all but he sez u dont like none of them which is impossible as i dont know them.. except 1 who.. not that i dont like her but shes his old flame ( of bout 4 month ) who tryed her hardest to split us up wen we 1st got together so im obv not gunna be best pleased about him being best pals with this lass.. anyway hes adamantt that there just friends now and that if we wanna get back together i have to trust him and accept that hes mates with girls.. which is fine with me aslong as i know who they all are.. but he thinks that i shudnt need to know who they are…

so i dno what to do?

sorry for the essay.

any advice will do jst hate talking to my mates as they seem to judge xxx

Well, you certainly haven’t made things easy for yourself! Going back as ‘fuck buddies’ never works because the boundaries are blurred, and not only that but it’s a way of you both still having some control/contact with the other. You should have just stuck to your word and moved onto someone else, seeing as you’ve just admitted that the relationship was failing. And now, you’ve both got ideas of what’s ‘acceptable’ to you both and what’s not. Not to sound heartless, but you’ve gone down the ladder in terms of commitment to each other, so really you have no right to complain about who his friends are. xx

If he has nothing to hide he wouldn’t mind introducing you to his girl friends. if my man wanted to keep me and another girl apart I would smell a rat and fear the worst, but then I’ve been cheated on in the past so I’m naturally suspicious!

we tryed not speaking for 3 weeks he ended up getting locked up 3 times and in hospital twice.. truth is hes pretty messed up.. had a bad past and u might say thats no excuse but his past defo is a reason for his behaviour.. this caused us to split to see if it was what we wanted

and it wasnt failing there where plenty of good point in our relationship but we felt that if we didnt try we’d never know if were better off appart or together.. i deffo cudnt of moved on that quickly after 5 years still cudnt now lol,

i know i have no right to complain and i dont have a problem him being mates with lasses all i have asked is to meet them so i know who they are and dont get jelous/ paranoid when some random lass is being all pally with him.. for all i know it could be someone he been chatting up etc.. wer as atleast if i meet them this wudnt happen.. tht aint too much to ask is it? xxx

yeah thats what im thinking faye… he shuld want me to be friends with his friends male or female.. but he says u dont like my mates were as i said only the 1 lass and i stated the reason which i believe to be a good enough reason xx

only you can decide what you want hun but just remember a relationship is about honesty as much as trust. What happens if he gets texts off these girls? Can you cope without knowing what’s been said if you never met them? What if he says he will meet you one night and doesn’t turn up, will you trust him or automatically think the worst? I know that I would need to know my hubbys female friends or it would eat away at me why he didn’t want us to meet.

My ex used to talk about a female friend quite alot that I never knew, he even used to met her with our 2yr old son, I later found out they were having an affair. I felt so stupid for trusting the pair of them.

Sometimes men can make it sound like your the one with the problem when in reality they are hiding something. If he loves you he will respect your feelings and understand how you feel. After all would he be comfortable with you going on a night out with all men if he wasn’t invited? I would bet my life on him hating it!

Only you know if you can trust him, but personally I would hate my man getting loads texts or going out with other women, especially if there is one in particular. But then I know I’m far more paranoid and suspicious these days lol

Xx

yeah see i can handle the texting now and then and even the meeting them for drink with all the ones that i know and have met but not with the ones i dotn have a clue who they are,, he might only look at it as mates but untill i meet them how do i know that the lass looks at it the same and surely the lasses bf wudnt be happy them meeting a lad on there own mate or not i jst dno what to do.. now he twisting it on me saying u will never trust me but i have reason not to.. the lass who tryed to split us up he said im not sure who id chose out of ya both,, ( yeah i was 16 and dumb shud of escaped then) but i loved him so much and still do and i know farn well he aint they type to physically cheat b ut lads dont get that emotionally its just as bad if not wurse xx

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