help, my husband isn't talking to me :(

hi ladies. im new to this. i only joined in the last few days. im really depressed because my husband has stopped talking to me since i booked the op date 7 days ago. i should be really excited but he is making things unbearable :’(

my op is on 26th july with mr c, did anyone else have problems with their other halves to start with?

Yes my husband begged me not to. Then he would come round to idea and say he’d support me. Then he’d be horrible again and I wd get upset and cry and we went around in circles. He was pretty difficult to deal with to be honest. Ultimately he came with me and was lovely. He hated watching me being drawn up on the day but he has been quite good since I had op saying I look hot and stuff. If u need to talk to me I m here. My nurse is going thru same experience. She was excellent to talk to. I think it’s better that they are struggling with the change than insisting on it but nonetheless it’s incredibly hard to go thru this process without the support of your partner. You will need to talk it all thru sometime. My nurse spoke to my husband which sort of helped too

My boyfriend wasnt too pleased at first, but then after a while he started to come round to the idea and now hes really supportive. Its hard though as they just dont understand what it means to us. Dont worry though, he will come round eventually. And you should talk to him and tell him how u feel and how hes making you feel. Let him know that u need his support as its what u want to do and that your going to do it no matter what, she he needs to be there for you xx

What’s his actual problem? Is it money or that u are having ur boobs done? Xxx

he doesn’t really want me to have them done, but being 34a ive always had low self esteem, ive wanted it done for years, we have 3 daughter (3,5&7) and i started working as a childminder in dec, from my earnings we have paid both our credit cards off of around £6000 so for the 1st time ive had an income to afford it. he said to save the balance but i put it on interest free credit which i can pay off within a few months. i tried to hug him yesterday and he folded his arms and said no. its doing my head in. i feel so low, keep crying and feel i cant breath properly due to anxiety.

I hun mine was funny with me,,because he thought the money should go on a family hoilday…But he came round in the end xx

Sounds like someones a little jealous of the attention you may get!!

i wish he would just get over it!!

he’s driving me crazy, constant atmosphere, and making me snap at the kids, im really hoping he comes to terms with it soon cause i cant cope much longer!!! Arghhh. its nice to let off steam. thanks lovely ladies. xxx

Natalie, the reason your other half is doing this is a) because he wants to control you and b) he’s insecure that once you get your new boobs, other men are going to be looking at you! It’s as simple as that…. stick to your guns and let him deal with it. He will get over it eventually but in the meantime don’t pander to him, just be your normal happy self. Hope things get better for you.. gosh men are so freaking annoying! Chin up lady xxxxx

thank you anna

he saying its money, but i can more than easily pay it off!! my gosh he’s doing my head in! i think you’re right though, he’s prob insecure! i mean we’ve been together 13 years and have 3 kids, i’m not going anywhere, but he bloody well will do if he carries on. lol. xxx

I dont think men seem to understand how much having children can affect your confidence and body!!

I don’t think men understand anything, full stop! xx

no you’re right, fingers crossed he gets over it! x

It’s not the money, he’s using that as an excuse to mask the real reason which is that he is feeling worried and is the one with the insecurities! But rather than communicate properly like us women do, he will start behaving like a knob and make you feel like it’s all your fault! You go ahead with that op and ask a good female friend to go with you! Trust me, they will keep you more upbeat and optimistic on the day! xxx

Hi hunni, my boyfriend wasn’t too pleased at first but nothing as drastic as not talking to me. It boils down to insecurity and selfishness. HE WILL GET OVER IT! he’s being very unreasonable, your earning, you’ve paidoff your debt and now it’s time to invest in YOU.

Sit him down and explain to him how happy this will make you and how unacceptable his behaviour is. Tell him that it’s going to happen regardless so why make an issue out of it. It’s worth throwing in that you love him yada yada yada, massage his ego a little too. If he’s still being awkward then just don’t bother with him, when you stop trying he will start trying trust me.

Hang in there xx

Good advice Khanni…. honest to God sometimes men don’t realise how far their behaviour drives us away… xx

thanks khanni, he knows how much it means to me! and ive tried being nice, making conversation and also ignoring him, nothing seems to be helping. i told him last night he was being childish which didn’t go down well. i have a female friend coming with me and my sister is staying at mine for a couple of nights to help with kids. op is 10 days away, hopefully he’ll have come round by then because im feeling low enough as is it with out the post op difficulties too. xx

hi natalie82,

aww hun-big hug.

i was down in the dumps after having two children and breast feeding,i started getting self concious about myself.i spoke to my husband about having a BA,and he was so supportive and said get it done if you want! now after having my consultation and booking my op he has gone quiet and is now saying that i dont need them doing and he loves my natural boobs.your hubby isnt being fair!like the other ladies said on here just tell him how you feel and hopefully he’ll come round.

good luck xx

thanks nikki, when is your op? i hope all goes well for you. xx

your welcome xx and thank you

my op is 28th sept with Mr Traynor,so ive got a bit of a wait,feeling nervous and losing sleep already lol.

xx

tell him to grow up and accept ur having it done x

Popping this in here too. Men are scared of how they’ll look and feel. They “boys” have probably informed them, they’re rock solid and look shit. Only porn stars can afford really good fake’s. Shallow, I think so

Not a chance! Once your boobies are healed they’ll jiggle just like the real thing, they’ll be super soft too. I cant even feel my implant?!?

Once he see’s you strutting your stuff round the bedroom braless his eyes will be popping out his head.

He’s probably an insecure wreck thinking his lovely jubbly Mrs is about to get huge bazoongas and he’s not wanting to share you with any other guy. He’s protective of his lady. That doesn’t make his actions right.

Like the others have said. Stick to your guns. This is your choice, your body, your money and ultimately your future.

Your confidence increases, you wear things you never thought you could and YES people WILL look at you because your beautiful, not just because of your boobies. It’s the confidence they’ll see. A woman completely happy with her chest.

You go girl! You’ll never look back

I didn’t

xx

hiya my partner isnt keen on it either, but hes been fine about it all, he expressed his concerns and thats that, but its not his body its mine and he knows that. however i have wanted this done years before i met him so he couldnt really argue with it anyway lol. seeing as though he is quite a self concious guy im surprised how well hes beeing about it all, but he just wants me to be happy.(as i moan about my boobs ALL THE TIME)lol hope things get better for you hun, remember your doing this for you and hel need to accept it.

xx

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