I so should not be saying this and a little off topic but here go's…….

Iv been married 8 months and been with my husband 3 years on the 15th of this month….but things have not been good at all proper fed up and a guy I feel in love with when I was 16 10 whole years ago has just walked into my life again, he dosnt no I felt like this for all these years but he has just declared his un dying love for me…. we both have kids I have a 4 and 2 year old girls and he has a 10 year old please help any advice would really help xx

Oh no thats not a good situation, only u can make the right decision tho, whatare your problems with your husband could u go councilling, if things arent to good with your husband that is why ur probably thinking uve had enough and will end up messin around with this other guy bt is that really what u want, i dont no your situation and im not judging u what so ever im tryna help cuz i was in the same situation accept im not married and i ended up cheatin and regret it now, i did it cuz i wasnt happy in my relationship mainly cuz i had no self esteem cuz of my boobs so felt good that some1 else wanted me. Hope u make the right decision for u and your family babe. X x

The grass isnt always greener on the otherside, sometimes your own just needs watering!, Im sure u will make the right decision, Do you love your Husband? if you do and are just going through a bad patch Im sure u can work it out.

Do what your heart says

think about how u would feel with the other guy out the pic sometimes having affection off another lad that int your long term lover makes u feel speshial but a look at the bigger pic makes u think if u ant seen this lad for 10 years u dont really no what hes like and could be sumat u dont wont once u got with him but end of day its up to u hun u must love this man to have 2 children to him is it not worth that one last chance maby cutting out the other lad and having no contact may help u decide more clearly hope u make the right choice xx

Hiya hun I’ve been with my husband for 4 years at the end of this month and we’ve been married 7 months. I don’t know what problems you’ve got between you but believe me no-ones relationship is perfect and mine isn’t either. Lulup20 has definitely hit the nail on the head. The worst thing you can do is bottle everything up, talk to your husband about the problems between the two of you before thinking about this other man. I know it’s a cliche but communication is so important, and if you still love eachother it must be worth trying to work things out, especially if you’ve got kids.

Don’t cheat on your husband, you’ll feel so guilty and think how hurt you’d be if it was the other way around. Hope you can work things out hun, but if really can’t I’d say it’s better for kids to have happy parents that aren’t together than have them still together but unhappy xxx

this isnt going to help one bit, but I agree with the others, listen to your heart, only you will know if its right. I have been with my husband 32 years and I still wonder what if … am I being lazy to go out there and try again, I know I love him, but in the right way? at the end of the day I truly believe things happen for a reason and cant imagine my life without him, and marriage/partnerships are hard work and both parties have to work hard at it to keep it going. But if its making you truly, desperately upset then maybe time to be brave and cut ties, but if just boosting your self esteem then honest talks need to be made- very hard, but beleive me, marriage guidance will help you both understand yourselves. lots of love and goodluck. x x x x

the grass really isnt always greener trust me, then its too late to go back once the deed is done…its not something you want to rush in to. i doubt things would of worked with me and my kids dad but i wish i did try harder rather than go stray. i thought i was missing out as he was the only guy id been with. its tough i know. but think about how you would feel if your husband was thinking this about another woman good luck with whatever you decide to do xx

How long has this other guy been in your life? Because sometimes you have good memories of somebody etc but in ten years people can change a lot! Maybe see the other guy as friends and get to know him better before you make any decisions?

Hope things work out for you xx

My advice would be no rash decisions, remember why you married your husband, why things aren’t running smoothly at the moment and how can it be fixed. I’d be lying if I said I’d never had thoughts of whether I’d be happier alone rather than in an unhappy marriage but I think everyone goes through rough patches, you’ve just got to get through them and work at it for your children as much as anything else. I’m not saying stay with your husband and be miserable for the sake of your children but like others have said the grass isn’t greener and this man that has reappeared had his chance years ago. Could you really imagine life without your husband?x

I just dont no what to do my husband lies to me all the time and can be pretty controling im very fed up and was when i married him think iv made a massive mistake…… i love him but am not in love with him he gives me and the children everything but i think id rather be on my own single mum on handouts then be like this the kids are frightend of him as he is so strict my boobs are a massive issue he wants me in roller necks now and if any of them are on show it is caurse for a argument……..

It sounds like you’ve already made your mind up. I would say to brave it and cut your losses. The independence you feel from not being controlled will be amazing. xx

For me regardless of another man if your kids are that frightened and he makes you feel that bad there’s yor decision, money isn’t everything, Love is the key. Always believe everything happens for a reason even if it’s something terrible and I’ve had more than enough terrible things for ten life times xxx

Thans for all your advice girls i think seperating is the way forward its getting to go thats going to be the hard bit xx

Wish you all the luck in the world love for you and your babies xx

big hugs babe be strong u can do it if thats the right decision and it does sound like your making the right choice xx

Consider waiting to make a decision until the other guy is out of the picture… you need a clear head to make such a big choice. Also try writing your husband a letter explaining how you feel. It gives you a chance to explain everything after having given it some thought, and he will be able to read and take it all in without making rash responses xx (Just some ideas from my experience)

Ohhh if hes making you scared and the kids scared get rid now and dont look back i kept getting back with my abusive ex and i regret it so much. getting rid for good was best thing i ever did its hard at first but stick to your guns, i have two kids age two and four and a great boyfriend who treats them as his own

i was in a similar sit a while ago, but fortunetly i dont have any kids as i think that makes your choices harder. At the end of the day your kids can only be happy if you are truely happy. if that means seperating then so be it, if you will be happier on your own. your cant stay in a relationship you are not happy in just for the sake of others. we only get 1 shot at life. if you live to regret your decisions later in life at least you gave it a go rather then regretting never trying.

i was with my ex for 8 years, and toward the end of the relationship i was finding myself really unhappy, withdrawn and becoming spiteful hoping he would end the relationship so i wouldnt look like the bad person. i met my current fiance while i was still with my ex, knowing my feelings were growing for another man. i had to end the relationship with my ex partner take myself out of the situation for a few months just to make sure he was what i wanted, and not just the attention i was getting. i do not beleive in cheating. you have far to much respect for your husband. Go with your heart xx

Thanks guys im having a talk with my husband tomorrow to find a way forward or to cut the strings xxx

Good luck Heather…… Im going through the same thing as you atm (the seperation but for diff reasons) and know how confusing it is and how your thoughts can sway from positive to negitive over the days….. its big changes ahead!!

just remember, you wouldnt be feeling the way you do for no reason…xx (no offence meant chick)

and your husband sounds like an insecure asshole tbh! – youre wee kiddies are wee gorgeous innocent bundles of cuteness and you will be so proud of yourself for being so strong for you all xx

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