off topic-wots ur opinion on goin on girly holidays without ur partner/vice vers

would u allow him to go on holiday with 1 of his male friends/would he let you go with one of ur girls??

been in a relationship with this guy for 7 monthes and my friend booked me & her a holiday to spain without properly talkin 2 me about it. my boyfriend wont let me go. not a chance. he doesnt trust me clearly but has no reason not to. i said id let him (which i would, id worry but i do trust him!) and he got angry and said if i was to let him go on one he would think i didnt give a fck about him/us..

opinions!!

our relationship is other way round, i wouldnt be happy about my fiance going but he probs wouldnt bat an eyelid if i said i was. we do have 2 children though and been living together a long time so our situation is a bit different.

we are both going away for our stag and hen dos though (at seperate times!!) to magaluf woo hoo!!

Every relationship is different, i would personally us rather go on holiday together as family and just have a weekend away with girls rather than a full hol xx

i tell my bf to go on boys holidays, i think its important that he has time with his friends, i also try and make hime go out with his friends every opportunity theres a night out. but he wont go, before we met he was a party animal but has choosen to calm down and stay in since meeting me, i think its important for men to have men time, i know if i was going on a girl holiday he wouldnt be overy fussed on the idea but he def wouldnt stop me going, i get alot of attention off men when im out so he doesnt like the idea of that, he trusts me but dont trust anyone else lol xx

Im glad im not the only one Kat, i would hate the thought of my man abroad with his mates…i do trust him and dont think he would do anything like that but would still worry what he was doing, whether he was safe etc! Im sure it wouldnt faze him if i went though lol! Like you, i would rather me and him go away!

Everyone is different though, i wish i wouldnt mind but thats me, cant change that!xx

i honestly think you should go hun!! i was in exactly the same situation but i put up with it for 15yrs!!!! met him at 18 had 3 kids together but he was a complete control freak from day one, didnt like me having friends, hated me going out which was very rare!! listened into my phonecalls, went through my phone and i can go on and on!! over the yrs id been invited on numerous girly wknds and always said no as i knew he would never allow it but last may it was my 2 best mates 40th and hen do and were all going to marbella, when i mentioned it he went mad and said definately not but come feb time when they were booking it i thought bollocks to this im frigin goin weather he likes it or not so i booked it!! caused so much crap but do ya know what it was the best thing i ever did i had the best time ever, and cutting a long story short met a truly, truly lovely guy over there who opened my eyes to the shit life i had at home and made me realise that there is so much better and that i and my children deserved so much more!!!! i finally plucked up the courage to end it 4wks after getting back and now 9 months on im in my own place with my 3 boys and am the happiest iv ever been no one controlling me anymore i can do as i please and im off to marbella with the girls again this may and to top it all off i now have a fab set off boobies to show off something he would never ever have allowed!!! so luvi thats my story and i dont know your situation but from my experience a relationship will never ever work without trust!! if he doesnt trust you enough to go away with you friends thats his problem and i cant see any hope for your future together, believe me it will get worse! i have so many regrets about things i could have done over the past 15yrs and didnt but thank god i got out of it whilst im still young enough to go out and enjoy myself i wish you luck sweetie in whatever you decide and hope you work it out, i’d just hate so see someone else go through what i did xxx

god i know what u mean! when i come downstairs ready to go out he tells me “your not wearing that are u?” an makes me feel like i must look fat or something in it! even if its not that revealing! he calls me constantly & would never ever let me go clubbing or out for a girly nite i havent been once since we met. i went xmas shopping with my mum last year and it caused a massive row! im thinkin of jus sayin fuck it an goin, an not tellin him til the last minute. we had a convo about it but i havent actually told him, it was more jus me saying oh i wouldnt mind if u was to go on a holiday, to which he went mad lol. but he doesnt even no about spain yet!!??

its soo good to hear how happy u are now tho after putting up with all that x

Aysha! You are a stunning lady, and do not deserve to be treated like this! You need a life, and someone to make you feel good and happy about yourself!

I completely agree with the other girls, a relationship without trust is not going to work. I know from experience, and luckily me and my fella have worked out our problems (so it is possible!).

He probably feels that because you are super gorgeous that all the other blokes will be trying it on with you. It’s all down to his personal insecurities, he may be scared that you will find someone better than him and leave. Have you talked about how you feel? xx

Omg really?! I’d go! You still have to have ‘seperate’ lives when you are in a relationship. I would trust my partner to go away without me and vice versa! What’s the point in a relationship if there is no trust?

Xx

thank you bethy! x

glad it can be sorted:)

i havent really hun, im crap at talking/getting my point n emotions across i wouldnt know what to say, and it doesnt help that he doesnt listen to a word i say, jus talks over me if we’re having a “debate” or convo of any kind or sometimes just stares at the wall where hes too stoned to even acknowledge my existence!! its not always that bad lol he does what he can to make me happy, he does seem to think its all about money though like if he buys me alot of stuff, but id prefer to be bought nothing & be treated better!! x

If he’s getting stoned, this is probably where the paranoia comes from! My ex was like that xx

Bek well done and good for you xx

Aysha, you go if you want to huni and like the other girls have said, if he’s like this now whats he going to be like in 2-3 years time?

Im going Magaluf in may with my friend for her daughters 21st birthday i was 17 last time i did a girly hol then the ex hubbie came along i got out that 1 tho when my son was 1 it wasnt good. then 5 years ago met my current partner, we have a 3 year old together and last fri my cousin phoned and said do i want to go last chance to book so i said yes with out telling him. later i told him, he dint really say owt. i dont think he minds but i cant wait, he knows i love him and thats that! id let him go but have munk on a few weeks and milk it (new dresses, shoes BRAS!lol).

Id sit and talk to him and look at your self as if it was 1 of your friends what would you tell them to do?

Best of luck huni

xx

Ashababy are you serious? Why are you putting up with a controlling stoner? Do you live together?

When i first met my husband he askedd me if he could go to Amsterdam with the lads, i couldnt understand why he was asking me lol. I went to paris with my friend about 6 months later, none of these situations caused arguments or tension. You need trust in a relationship above anything else r before you know it you’ll end up on jeremy kyle (not srs lol).

Your a very pretty girl and he clearly knows this which is why he tries to get you to change etc.

Get out now hun, relationships with men like him are unhealthy you can do better x

GO BEK!!!!!!!!!!!

Aysha…I was in a relationship with a paranoid controlling stoner for 2 1/2 years and he wouldnt let me go out, wouldnt let me go away, wouldnt let me do much to be fair…he was always so paranoid i was going to cheat etc turns out after me putting up with that and a lot worse after the 2 1/2 years he cheated on me with a 14 year old…!

If it were me i would walk now while you have the chance…no girl deserves to be controlled, its awful when your in it and for months/years after your regret it! I am now a little bit paranoid as a result and have finally found what i believe to be a lovely bloke who will let me do anything i want…very strange feeling having no arguements over me going out etc lol the freedom is unreal!

Find yourself a bloke who actually deserves you hun and go away and have a fab time xx

yeh thats true mayflame, i may jus go and deal with it all when i come back i dont know how to tell him though. its scary how many girls here have been in relationships with controlling guys!

i no ticky omg id love a relationship like that wher it didnt cause tension.. the girl im going with has been with her bf 3 years, they go on holiday together and seperately no probs!

yep we live together, when we 1st met id just got out of a messy relationship & didnt really wanna be with anyone seriously, and i told him this many times, but he kinda just stayed at mine n even though i said u cant move in (i live with my mum!) he slowly moved all his stuff in then wouldnt leave!! we’ve had bad arguments in the past & when ive told him i want him gone, literally tryin 2 push him out ther door, thrown is stuff out, he’d ignore it & carry on living with me til it blows over. or tells me well if i go Archie is coming with me & ul never see him again (the chihuahua pup we bought a week after we met & ive looked after every single day all day, hes like my baby! he crys even if i leave the room! if my bf had him he’d be in a CAGE from 5am til 7pm as my bf works everyday long hours-worst move ever getting a dog together.)

it is the weed aint it dolcie! i duno whats worse tho coz wen he aint smoked any hes so moody or overly hyper, he needs it to calm him down but then hes so paranoid or like talking to a ffing brick wall! x

It sure is…total nightmare! Like you say its one extreme to another all the time and my ex used to promise hed change etc etc and then sh@t on me big time! I strongly believe in the fact they are so paranoid is because they are doing things they shouldnt! Now dont get me wrong i dont know your bloke enough to say that about him, just from my experiances and others i know!

Good luck hun, i would deffo go and if he leaves then he most deffo is not worth it!xx

yehh my mum has always said that, theyre only paranoid about us coz they know what theyre getting up to themselves!! im gonna do that

thankyou for ur advice girls! x

Ashababy.. I would just say defo go!! I was with my ex for just over a year (felt like years) and he went on lads holiday but wouldn’t let me go on a girly one so the following year all the girls asked again n was like stuff it.. N he said If I go it over so I ended it (not the only reason its over) and went on three Girly holidays and going on more this year.. Xxx keep smiling chick xx

Ayshababy go!! Your only young and it’ll only get worse you deserve so much better than this. I’ve been with my hubby 8 yrs (got together at 15) have two kids together. He’s a fishing fanatic so fishes every other weekend Friday night to Sunday the lake only 10 min away and don’t honestly mind. For me my breaks are mainly to Oxford to stay with my bro every couple months although my hubby encourages me to go more and go out clubbing with my bro his soon to be wife and all there mates and have a real laugh.. And always can’t wait to get home, so it’s great to get time for yourself and you do appreciate your partner when your back together even though you were only gone a few days. Xx

Aysha he sounds like an arse, get yourself off!

It’s the other way round in my relationship too, he prob wouldn’t have a problem with me going on a girls holiday, he’d secretly be worried but wouldn’t say a word whereas I’d be really upset and worried if he did. I’d never stop him from going but I know I’d wonder what was going on. I hate that about myself though and am trying my best to stop thinking like that you need to go though, don’t be controlled by him xxx

Hey Ayshababy! My boyfriend goes on a lad only holiday every year with his mates. I have total trust with him, he’s never given me a reason not to trust him. I think it helps that I’m also friends with his friends so I know they are all good eggs and wouldn’t be untrust worthy themselves let alone allow my bf to be naughty. He also let’s me go on girl holidays no prob at all other than we miss each other. I’m 20 and been with him for 2 yrs. My last bf had no trust for me (for no reason) and would never of let me go, I think this was because he was the untrust worthy one so he was worried I’d be the same. I can’t say its the same for ur bf but experience has shown me those who are afraid are the ones u can’t trust . I’d go, u can’t let anyone decide what u can or can’t do, you live once! Xxx

I went on a girls holiday last year, came back for ad day and my bf went on a lads holiday, we were both pulling our hair out! Even though you trust them…it is hard. weve both decided to just go on a holiday together this year, and miss out on the mates ones xx

I go away to oz every year as thats where Im from see family and friends ect my husband has never come out there with me I always go on my own and am going on girls hol in june and sept this year no men allowed

Without a doubt. Mines going to ibiza in june on stag im going.to maggaz in june on a hen… have to have a life xx

I think u should let ur mam take archie out the house. pack ur bfs bags and tell him to fook off .. then bring archie home… u deserve better!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ THIS x10000000000

I think it’s important you do whatever you want without someone controlling you. I’m 23 been with my current bf 5 years and every year he goes away with the lads and me with my girls. We go out clubbing seperately and sometimes together. It’s important you enjoy your life while your young as you may resent each other when you are older for not being able to do it. I have all my life to go on holiday with my partner when I’m married but now I’m young I’m enjoying time with my friends and my bf. No relationship works without trust. Xxx

Hunny like everyone has said if hes like that now he’ll only get worse. Im so with fairy on this get the dog out then kick him out xx

Er sorry, but no-one has the right to tell you where you can and can’t go! What the fuck!? Excuse the language but I find that really shocking that he’s trying to control you like that. If YOU want to go then go, don’t let him ruin your enjoyment. Personally I would a slap to anyone who dared to talk to me like that and tried to tell me what to do. Also I think it says a lot about what HE’S doing himself if he is that paranoid.

I’m not taking a stab at anyone but this is why I stay away from relationships; I can do whatever with whoever and no one cares! xx

I agree with dolly, if you want to go you have every right. He is probably worrying (as most blokes would) that other guys will be oggling, but that goes without saying and besides he should trust you.. Imagine you telling your guy he isn’t allowed to go away, he would think you were totally mad… Go for it… I need to get away, need my tan back!! xx

I don’t know how you ladies put up with this rubbish. In the past anyone who tried to control me or tried to stop me from doing what I wanted, I just dumped them like a sack of sh*t lol. I just can’t deal with all that dramaaaa x

both me and my partner have two holidays a year without each other (one girly/lads one and one each alone with the boy), one big one as a whole family, and two alone as a couple (they are usually 3-5 days long as we always come back for our boy), we trust each other completely, always have done, and even having my new boobs wont stop this, he knows that they will be on display for all to see, but there wont be no touching, i have a mean right hook! xx

That’s a lot of holidays joannabella – lucky you! xx

thank you, i never stop working when im holiday though, i cant, but i work so much, i never see daylight usually lol! xx

Iv been with my guy for 4 years, I’m 26 an I have 2 girls from previous relationship an 2 year old twin boys with my fella now, an he’s havin all the kids wen I go to benidorm on sat with 10 of my friends for 4 days can’t wait!! We tell each other everythin trust each other to the max an were like best friends, he does wat he wants with the boys an I do my thing, an we go out together, I think u shouldn have a hold down on each in relationships cause that’s wat causes the other to stray, be open an honest an talk!!! It works for us,

My sis is in the same position as u an I tell her all the time she deserves so much more, someone can make u so happy hun it’s not the material things in life that count it’s love feelings an trust, u will no wen it’s time to end it it’s a certain stage u get to an u flip an u no ul never look back an will realise it’s the best thing u ever did, good luck xxx

woo glad u posted this ive been with my guy for 6 yrs we got married last yr and have 2 kids we r really happy hes a fab hubby he ticks all the boxes, hot mans man, rich, can trust him not to cheat, he can do DIY and fix cars lol etc etc buttttttttt he is sooo jelous! i had a girly hol booked when i met him, he told me if i went it wudnt go any further with us n i shud cancell it and he wud take me away..so i did, cringe! my poor friends i left them high n dry but i just cudnt bear the thought of him not being there when i got back..looking back now it was the very start of relationship and he prob wud of been there for me, i just wudnt ever hear the end of it so i do kinda wish i went coz now ive got kids i’ll not get they teenage girly hols ever but no point in regrets! just annoys me because he cant trust me..he says its just because he cares so much bla bla but its ridicoulous ive cancelled loadssss of nights out n stuff for a easy life wonder if i’ll ever grow a back bone n tell him to get a grip lol xx

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