OT- me and my boyfriend has just found out he has a son, deverstated

Last nite his sisters friend got in contact with him after 2 years to tell him he has a 2 year old son. I’m so upset, I wud never ever go with sum1 with a baby as I wud want 2 have that persons onli baby but here I am with this news. His onli upset cos I am and at 1st said he wanted nuffin 2 do with him, after talkin we decided it wud b a gd idea 4 him 2 meet with mum n baby 2 talk fings through. This has killed me. N as its his sisters friend the whole family will know soon! I no I’m bein selfish but I hv no idea wt 2 do, we’ve been 2gether a year n a half n everyfin was perfect. His never liked kids but recently said his the onli person he’d wna hv 1 with but nw this has messed everyfin up. I said ile b there 4 him etc but I feel so phyically sick by this all.

Rele wnt a hole 2 swallow me up!

you’re not being selfish, you want him all to yourself i can understand, just think the boy needs his daddy and its a completely different kind of love!why didnt she speak up sooner stupid woman!

She was scared apparently n she always told him it was sum1 elses but nw she said she jus covered it up. Also it sounds lke she trapped him. She promised she’d get morning after pill, told him she did wen last nite she told him oh the chemist ran out. He also said that he tried dating her but she ignored all his calls n vanished. Nw 2 years on she drops it wen his with me. I’ve never hated another human so much! X

You’re not being selfish hun…I’ve been through exactly what you’re going through…except I was pregnant at the time! Are you 100% sure it’s his and that she’s not changed her mind for money etc? Unfortunately some women do lie and it’s a horrible situation to be in…my heart goes out to you babe x

I’m with hazel19780, it’s sound horrible to say but you need to make sure it’s his son, especially if she has always said it’s someone else’s. I would just double check before he gives her any money or makes a bond with the little boy, as that will only hurt all of them in the long run if it turns out he’s not the dad.

Good luck hun and don’t feel guilty for not wanting the situation to have happened as it affects you too x

I jus hate her so much 4 hurtin us both lke this, I’ve offered 2 get him a dna test so we shud no 4 sure! I obvs dnt trust her! Hazel hw did u cope x

I know it sounds bad but I’m with the other girls. I think he should definaltey check before anything happens. Hope it all works out. And you can still be together and have a baby, it wont make it any less special. Good luck, your allowed to feel upset by it, I would be gutted xx

I’m not going to pretend it was easy because it wasn’t and as horrible as it sounds I didn’t want anything to do with the child. I let my partner decide what he wanted to do but said I didn’t want to be part of it…that it would have to be separate from our life together! As it turns out it wasn’t his child…she just thought he’d just give up cash easily as he’s a good person…she didn’t count on him asking for DNA. Whatever happens don’t let her destroy your ‘perfect’ relationship and don’t feel guilty for the way you feel…you’re entitled to feel hurt and angry…your life has been turned upside down…chin up babe…you will get through it x

I all ready knew that my bf had a daughter b4 so it was Easer for me but I think she is up to no good as I have also had a baby by sone1 and not told them because ha had a gf and he is my bf brouther . My bf no’s and still stands by me and the baby even thoe I did wrong I wouldn’t call him up in the night 2 years later just to tell him. But that’s just me it will be hard but sit him down and tell him from the begining u will stand by him but you don’t want to be pushed aside you also want to be included in the boys life that is what I did and now 5 years later I love my bf daughter asy own when his x tried winding thing betwen us noting worked as he knew I loved him and his daughter so every time he just told her to f$#@ off and get a life just remind him it is what she chord not you xxxxx we now have his daughter regulary and have 3 kids of r own chin up things will be ok you r far from selfish x

Thank u so much girls this is helping I’m not alone. Also wot pisses me off is the fact his sister knew weeks b4 us n she’s seen us loads!! Its such a shitty situation! We’ll get a dna n ile accpet its his. I love him so I hv 2 try n work at it even tho it makes me feel sick! X

I’m in the same situation huni, Got with my 1st ever boyfriends nearly 5 years ago now I Got pregnant to him there I was 1 day at work quite Happy and then boom a girl says to me I gotta tell u this cause this is what I’ve heard your boyfriend has a kid already, so in 1 second my life had been turned from thinking I was having his 1st child to no He infact had another, I questioned him He said no He isn’t mine I’ve spoke to the girl she said He isntt. I believed it but then funny enough I added her on fb just to be nosy lol. Looking at her piks the lil boy was definitely my bf’s He is the spitting image, so I got in contact with her she said no he’s not his, he’s my boyfriends and were having another baby now, quite clearly she was lying she had split up with her bf a while b4 sleeping with my bf found out she was preg a month after been with my bloke n then wen the baby was born she Got back with her ex bf, her own sister has said to my bf that she thinks the lil boy is his. So we worked out the dates to when they were together and when He was born its the right time but she’s denying it and its been going on so long my partner Dusnt want to take it to court for a dna test cause this lil boy is now 4, so my bf is scared of splitting up a family, but even tho I was devastated at 1st thinkin I want to have his 1st baby n just wanted it all to go away. Well now I want the truth cause we have 2 boys of our own now n they r never gonna no they have a brother. Rly gets me down xx

oh hun what a horrid situation your in, you’re far from selfish as i think i would act the same as you. 2 years is such a long time to keep this from your bf. i would def to a dna test just to be sure. what a cow. hope you can get through this xx

beckie90, that’s horrible, I dnt no wot we’ve done 2 desrve this. Its lke a bus has jus hit us n its the worse feeling in the world! We both hv 2 b strong 2 get through this. I cnt hp but hate my bf a lil bit 4 this, I dnt no if u feel the same I rele dnt no wot 2 do with myself!!

Girls were gettin a dna, we hv 2!! But my gut says it is I wud do anyfin in the world 2 make it not his! X

I hated my bf too its normal I wudnt touch him I just cried n cried n kept saying y didn’t u use something… It’s devestating really horrible its now nearly 4yr ago I fon out n I stil can’t get over it xx

Oh beckie xxxx, I felt the same, I wudnt let him touch me or anyfin. Were jus taking baby steps! Y wnt these men jus use comdoms!!!! X

I no horrible isnt it, it does get easier to.accept but its stil heartbreakin. Hope it turns out ok hun really sory this is happening to u. If u ever need to talk bout it u no were to find me hun xxxx.

Thank you so much 4 ur help, I will always bear that in mind xxxx

Is this topic even relevant to this forum?

It’s off topic… She is just asking for advice n support, u can post threads as long as it Dusnt get too Much of a regular thing and its not something that is upsetting to other members. The mod posted a topic about it few week ago

There’s always 1 lol! X

I no ppl can see what its about so y read it lol. Oh well u have done the right thing, there’s plenty of supporting ppl on here xx

It doesn’t really matter if it’s off topic it’s not offensive to anyone so there’s no problem, not that I can see anyway!

I hope you sort everything out anyway Hun X

Well said stacey xx

I don’t see the point in the comment, if your not interested/helpful/supportive of a post don’t read it, it’s that simple X

It’s true the title says what its about. Commenting “is this relevant” is pointless. Don’t see y it bothers ppl if its not offensive xx

Hey hun, you’ve probably already tried this, but if u can put urself in his shoes it might make things easier. Let’s pretend that men have babies and you found out 2yrs down the line that you where a mother. It would be so so scary, especially when you’re with someone else who you love. As much as we can question why he didn’t use something, these things happen all the time. Its come as much as a shock to him as it has done you. So hopefully you can try and work things out. I’m sorry this has happened to you. A girl did this to me and my boyfriend but it didn’t even turn out to be his! Some women just need to lie . Good luck hun xxxx

I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but blokes accept kids all the time, my fella accepted mine (we were on a break when I was caught pregnant) and I could not have asked for a better bloke to raise my son! I also have a step-dad who I respect and care for more then my real mum and dad. My point is, if you like the bloke, accept his child, children aren’t and shouldn’t be a reason to split, kids are a gift

Honestly, if you like the fella, keep him close, and come to terms with it (as long as its his and that part has been dealt with) xx

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