Sad face :(

Just been to my nephews christening and told my mum that i was definitely going to be having a ba. I dont see her very often as she lives away and wanted to tell her face to face. I told her i was thinking about it in January and she wasn’t happy at all and tried to talk me out of it, then she said give it six months and if you still feel the same then maybe she will have come around.

Well its been 7 months and i have really thought about it and done my research (not that i wasnt doing before) and have decided it is definitely what i want. So i told her and asked her if she would come to a consultation with me so she could get a better idea of why i wanted to do this and maybe they could put her mind at rest a bit and answer any questions she might have. She looked like i’d just punched her in the stomach and said there was no way she was coming with me and didnt agree with it and pretty much doesnt want any part in it.

I know not everyone agrees or likes the ideas of boob jobs but i really want my mums support on this x x

She sees you as perfect,you are her daughter,and she cant understand why you want it done,shes probably scared that something goes wrong,tell her again how much it means to you,and how much you need her with you,keep telling her till she agrees,good luck,xxxx

Thats sad she isn’t supporting you hun, and i’m sorry to hear that.

But don’t let her reaction put you off having it done. You want it done for you and no one else. Just remember your reasons.

My dad wasn’t supportive at first, but once I had told him my reasons and he saw how unhappy I was he soon came round.

Have you got a close friend or another family member who will support you and go with you??xx

Oh no.. what a shame. I am definately going to go through with this. I’ve kept my mum in the picture all the way (only had my initial appt so far – but got my surgeons appt booked). She has been unable to come due to work..but she disagrees with it.

I think my mum will accept it but she feels the need to voice against it (she hasn’t been horrible) just saying why..waste of money etc etc…all you can do is keep her informed, tell her if she has any questions to ask so you can find out the answer, I would have a deep convo with her about the reasons why, about all the research you have done and hopefully she will adapt to the idea.

(Yet to have an in-depth convo with my Dad, so far he has said he ‘isn’t over the moon about it’ I know he won’t flip out but he is not pleased about it at all..although I havn’t told him I am definately going ahead with it – so far it has been an idea which I think they didn’t think I would do, I have spoke about it for a couple of years though so it isn’t out of the blue)

In the mean time I hope you have a close friend to stick with you all the way. I am lucky as I have my sister and I am 99.9% certain my mum will be supportive when it comes to having the actual op. xx

I was just really hoping that once she realised i wasnt just rushing into the idea then maybe she might come round. I know its cos she worries and in her eyes its an unnecessary surgery but its not unnecessary in my eyes. I have assymetrical boobs and they are completely out of proportion with my body which makes me feel fat (im a size 12 but with broad shoulders and wide hips) My mate is convinced i have that body dismorphia thing lol.

I am going for a trip home for a few days next week so i think i will take my boobie bible with me and let her have a read through all my research, reasons why, pics etc. Hopefully that might help a little bit.

I am lucky though, the few friends i have told have mostly been really supportive, even if they think i dont need it and my boyfriend has been fab. Havent told my dad yet, but to be honest im expecting him not to be supportive so in a way i dont think i’ll find that as hard to take. I don’t really know what reaction i expected from my mum really….just a bit of a better one than i got x x

maybe once uve been for a consultation and your mum see’s your 100% serious about this she’ll come around, if not i would just say ”im doing this with or without your support but it would be great if you could be there for me”.

my mum wasnt 100% happy about mine but she knew how much i wanted it and has been great, having my daughter while im recovering, ive not told my father but were not very close, my issue was my brother and my nan i thought they’d go mad but have both said they dont like it but have supported me, my nan even brought me flowers and brings food over for me as ive lost my appetite.

obviously your mum doesnt want you to go through a operation, and unless someones had the same feelings about there body then its very hard for them to understand, i would keep telling her how much it means to you and how unhappy you are untill it gets through to her, maybe she just needs a bit of time for it to sink in. xx

I have been for a consultation in January and i have given it since then to make sure its what i want, do my research and save some money. Ive booked another one though now im a bit more clued up on what i want and what all the terminology is. Im hoping to book a date at that consultation or within a few days after it.

Think im gonna have to go with your original idea of pretty much laying the law down. I would like her support but its not essential, i am an adult and ultimately it is my choice. Think i will just have to keep plugging away at her and see if she will come round, dont think there are many people out there who wouldnt want their mum on board with such a big decision.

Thats well sweet about your nan, bless her. Its great that you have the support, it really does make a difference! How far post op are you crazy28 and what did you have?

Thanks for all the advice and support ladies, it really does help x x

Amy huni l had my ba and uplift 10 weeks ago l have not told my mum and dad they are the only ones that dont know cause l talked about it 4 years ago and they gave me a lecture. l live 4 hours away so l think its about time to introduce them lol xx feel crappy bout not tellin them but l so would l got a ear full. We are all for each other on here. xx

That’s great that you went for it hun. I’m undecided on whether to tell my dad. I doubt he would actually motive and if he did it’s unlikely he’d say anything. Bet my stepmum would notice though lol. If I tell him a risk a mountain of lectures and disappointment and if I dont I just delay all that and then get the added guilt about not telling him but at least my boobies would be done! Lol.

Feels rubbish not havin my mums support but I just have to remember I’m doin this for me and it’d what I want! Xxx

I feel so lucky to have my sons support,it came up in conversation that id never learned to swim because I was embarrased about my body,Id researched BA for years,but never had the money to do anything about it,after the chat with my sons I was going to get a loan,but kept putting it off,didnt need to in the end, my sons threw 5 grand on the bed and said you know what to do with that mom,we want you to learn to swim,i cried for days. Had my first hol abroad last year and I learned to swim, hope you get the support you deserve girl.xxxx

Exactly…..you are doing it for you!!

I did it for me!

You don’t need to explain to anyone

I thought about mine for years, and when i finally did it (last week) I thought why did i wait so bloody long!

It is your body and your choice…….most people that try to talk you out of it are just envious !!! xx

im 6 days post op and had 410 unders from a 34a hun xx

Oh my god thats amazing Tina, what fab kids you’ve got!! My boyfriend has been fab, really supportive and is payin a fairly big chunk of mine for me cos he know it means so much to me and i could never afford it on my own. Seems like there are some nice blokes out there after all!

I know she will try and talk it over with me next week and maybe try and talk me out of it. I will give her that and try and win her round but after that i think i might just let her know when my surgery is booked and the date and she can be as involved or not as she likes. Tough pill to swallow but this ba is all about ME!! lol. Thanks ladies x x x

Fab crazy28. Hows your recovery going? Also which surgeon did you have and where? xx

amyk84,this will be the best thing you do for you in your life,go for it,when they see how happy you are post-op,they will come around.xxxxx

Hope so Tina, I can’t wait to have them done, just want everyone to be as excited as me! Lol. Hope you are right xxx

Im good hun,wish i could wave a magic want and make it come good for you,always consider you first hun,i know its not easy when you have family that dont agree,but this is for you.The girls here are excited for you,i know its not the same,but were here and we will support you all the way.xxx

Aww Amy, I know how it feels to have the worries with your mum. I felt so guilty when I told mine, I hadn’t had the guts to tell her until a week before the op when I realised I just couldn’t go ahead with it without her knowing. When I told her and she asked when I was thinking of doing it I had to say “errrrm it’s next wednesday”, I felt terrible!

In the end she supported me and made sure I was ok etc even though she didn’t want me to go ahead with it and she didn’t quite understand.

It’s a mother’s instinct I think to want to keep their children out of harms way – I know you’ll keep hearing this but it really is because she cares!

x x x

Bit of a delay replying to this post but I actually had a simular reaction. My mum and I had a MASSIVE argument over it!!! (Im talking massive)! I think it’s because she’s worried that your (in her head) putting yourself through unnecessary surgery and all the “what if’s” come into play!

Your her daughter and she doesn’t want anything bad to happen (not that it would)!

I ended up in intensive care a couple of years ago due to TSS (something that ALL girls should so be aware of)!!! anyway, I very nearly lost my life and that was all down to my mums reaction. They are mothers and they are always going to be protective.

I in the end took my bf to my consultation and my cousin (who’s very close to my mum) to my pre op. Mum then felt she was being maybe a little left out so I started involving her with pictures, info etc. I then went to stay with her for 18 days after my op and she came with me to my post op appointment and walked out with a list as long as her arm with stuff she now wants done!!! lol

There is a silver lining hun. For now she maybe just shocked but im sure she’ll come round to the idea xxx

Im starting to wish i’d done the same thing claire1985! lol. I know its cos she cares but my emotional health is just as important as my physical one. Hopefully she will see that once i have had them done.

Fairydust ive asked her to come and she has flat refused She lives in Ireland and i am goin over next week so hopefully we will have a heart to heart. Keep your fingers crossed for me girls x x x

My mom hated the idea and flat out told me i’d diappointed her by even thinking about it. I gave up trying to explain to her as at the end of the day it was my decision, and mine alone. I reminded her that she’d have cosmetic dentistry if she could, and that’s not all that different from wanting a BA. Well after my op when i went round to see her, she was visibly pleased with the result and keeps ringing to see how i am getting on with my recovery.

Your mom will definitely come round. Don’t force the issue, just let her come around on her own x

Well i tried, but i dont think my mum will ever get on board with me having a ba. I had a lecture yesterday with guilt, scare tactics and blackmail…if i dont tell my dad she will! She is also even more unhappy that my boyfriend is paying for it. The worst thing is she actually has me questioning my choice now when i was so sure it was what i wanted before now she has put doubt in my mind. Havent told her that bit as im sure she would love it. I know she’s not doing it to be mean or hurtful, just cos she cares but still feel rubbish x

Awww babe ! Poor u ! My best friend won’t speak me because I’m having it done it’s awful x

hun when i told my parents they were not happy my dad still wont talk about it,

at the end of the day you have to do what makes you happy…..they will all come round in the end they just worry…….

i have been thinking about for years i got really bad depression over my boobs i would not look in the mirror hated my husband looking at me god forbid trying to toouch me…….i just wanted to cut them off….

i sat my mum down and told her everything she says she does not agree but loves me and wants me to be happy…….

we are all here for you hun just like tina2011 said,

we are like a little family…..

you ever want to talk about anything we are all here to listen and give fab advice about anything……xxxxx

Oh Hun, I feel for you! I’m quite lucky that family and friends know that I will do whatever I want to do whether they like it or not, so they have no choice other than to support me and be there to pick up the pieces if I need them too. But I am a very lucky to have them. Hun if you don’t have your family and friends you will always have us xx

oh honey i feel for you …my mother was a nurse and i spoke to her about what i wanted to do …as a nurse i got her full views of what could go wrong .but i said it was what i wanted and was going to do regardless as the long term not feeling happy about my body …this was over ten years ago when i was heading for my 30’s i had moved back home and when my father was told by my sister (sh*t stirrer) he gave me an ultimatum get out if i had them done or i could stay if i did not go ahead with the op !!!..i went …i think that proved to my mom i was determined to go through with it .she worked as a sister of the out patient clinic attached to the private hospital .she was very supportive on the day and kept popping up to see me …i think it helped that a few of her fellow workers there were pro me going ahead with the op and admired me for it …you are an adult ,what your parents think is their opinion and that you are going ahead with the operation and as you have taken what they have said with their concerns on board there is nothing that they have said that you have not already thought about and considered,but enough is enough …as for my father he never mentioned my op …live and let live …what you are having done it not indulgent and vain its empowering and taking control of yourself..i had a client who i had told about my op and that i was having it done, a few months after my op she came in and said i had inspired her to go ahead and sort a body issue she had lived with all her life and to meet someone who had elected to go under in order to solve the issue made her go ahead ….my op was a fab experience even though i had to move out find somewhere to live and know mum was fumming with my father for his stupid blackmail tac tic.dont doubt yourself stay firm because if you back down now ,not only will you have stronger issues with your boobs but you will have issues with your family ….

mine is on july the 15th and am just as excited as i was over ten years ago ..no regrets …

emma xx

Thanks for all your support ladies you are all fab. I suppose its only normal to have second thoughts and the occasional doubt or scared moment, it is surgery after all and there are obviously things that can go wrong. You can’t live your life being scared of things though or you wouldnt really live.

My mum said she has told my brother and step dad who are both against it too, neither have said anything though, being men I dont think they would be comfortable doing so unless i mentioned it first.

Im lucky that the few friends I have told have all been really supportive though. Even the couple that dont agree have said if it will make me happy then thats what matters or have just not said anything lol. And my boyfriend has been fab too, wont even give much of an opinion on it cos he says its 100% my decision and doesnt wanna influence me either way, loves me whichever i choose. Flippin families eh?! x x

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