Should I do it?? Advice please girls!!!

Hi everyone!
I’m planning on having my surgery in January with Mr Traynor at Manchester. It’s something I’ve wanted for years and I’m finally taking the steps to go through with it. It’s my 21st birthday in March so I’m hoping January will be just the right time for me to have them done. I live with my boyfriend but I’m close to my mum and she is so against me having it done and it’s really upset me (she’s mostly the reason why I’ve put it off for so long). She has told me I’m being really selfish and is going mad about me getting into debt for it and said if I go through with it she will fall out with me and won’t speak to me. She is basically saying choose me or have your boobs done and the obvious choice between my own mum and my boobs is going to be my mum but I just feel like I’m desperate for my boobs. I don’t know whether to just go through with it and hope for the best with her. I just feel like if I don’t do this now I’m going to lose even more confidence in my self and end up resenting my mum for being the reason behind it. I’ve tried speaking to her about how I feel about myself and tried to involve her and gain her support but she’s made her mind up about it and won’t listen to anything I say. What do you girls think about it? xx

I know exactrly how u feel, i was in the same position as u are now around 3 years ago. My mum begged me not to have it done and i respected her wishes. She just wanted me to be happy with what i have been given

But years on i am still not happy my mum died soon after she asked me not to go through with it was a very hard time for me to deal with

I am now looking into have a BA in the next few months. My dad is not happy about it but he said he does want me happy and i prob know my mum is not happy with me but at the end of the day u only live once and once ur are gone there is no coming back. Live your own life and not how other people want u to live it! its your own life and its u who makes it

I think u have strong feelings towards how u feel in regards to your boobs and i know so many peope who say its the best thing they have ever done

What i woudl do is though? Save up as much as possible so ur not going in “as much” debt as ur mum thinks. Put across to ur mum it is your own life, she has her own ur both apart of each others and the fact boobs will make u happy and give u the confidence u need

Hope i have helped a little bit

Keep ur chin up hun! Your mum will love u know matter what u do! She just wont like ur decisions lol

But do any parents like there childrens decisions lol!!!

Shell
xxx

p.s. i am going for my 1st consulation on sat and i am hoping to feel alot better and not be so nervous about the whole hing after, maybe go for a consultation and see how u feel? U never knowit may not be what u want or it could make u know exactly what u want

Hi Jmc,

My mum was exactly the same, i aswell, put it off for years, but i’m 24 now, living with BF, and i’ve said look i’m doing it regardless of you, BUT i REALLY wan’t and need your support, i asked her to come with me for the op, i said i really wanted her there as it was surgery afterall (made her feel needed and apart of it) and it’s worked, she HATED the idea, and the turn around is unbelieveable, she can’t wait to come to London, her and my BF are going for dinner whilst i stay over night!

Soften her up, BUT be strong and make it clear you want it with or without her support, but rather with!

GOOD LUCK! Stay positive and it will all work out i’m sure.

xxx

arr bless ya hun, can understand how yu must be feelin, what a horrible position to be in…
I was lucky with the fact i did have my paprents behind me, but my dad really didnt want me to get into debt over it, kept trying to persuade me not o have it done, but at the end of the day it was my only choice…
I think if it does affect you that much, and if you are close to your mum in every other way then yes go for it, you are an adult and its obvisouly something you’ve always wanted, so that wont change…i’m sure she will eventually come round to it. Prob within the 1st few days…
Its an importnant decision but something we do for ourselves cos of how we really feel inside.

Good luck hun x x

Hi JMC

I have been through the same too!
My mum is a nurse and cant understand why i am putting my body through it. I felt so guilty for so long, but literally had to say to her im having it done no ,atter what, and id really like her to support me. I asked her to come to my pre op etc, and asked her if she would take me, and she is. Shes still worried sick (but she is is going to be) but shes ok about it now.
I think she likes the fact that she can be all mumsy and look after me for a while, which she hasnt had to do or some time!

If its something you really want then im sure she will come round!

Sian

xx

Just pretend you are going away for 2 weeks on hols, then have them done! and stay at a friends house! she may never notice you have had them done! cos ppl dont notice i have! unless i get them out haha! so you could slyly get away with it! make sure you ring her everyday if you pretend to be away, !

Thanks a lot for your support ladies! It’s made me feel a little bit better about it all…I think I’m definitely going to go through with it but I still feel really guilty and bad on my mum. I just hope so much that she’ll accept it and not totally fall out with me but they way she is at the moment there’s just no reasoning with her at all. I’ve spoke to my boyfriend about it and 2 of my best friends and they all say it’s my life and I should do what will make me feel happy about myself as they know how bad I feel about myself. I’ve tried to include her and asked her to come to the consultation with me as I thought speaking to the surgeon might help her understand why this is so important to me but when I asked her to come she went mad and wouldn’t listen to me so I had to just go with my boyfriend.
If I had my mum’s support this would be the easiest decision in the world for me and instead of feeling all this anxiety about it I’d be happy! xxx

My mum was just the same dint want me to do it at all . I had mine done with mr traynor last weds an its the best thing iv ever done i love them so much my mum now can see how much happier i am an has even said she would have hers done lol just peoples minds are set to think the worst will happen especially parents with their kids . My lil girl is so perfect to me i would never like to think of her changing the way she looks . But it would be worse to know that she was as unhappy as i was before my op.

I think you should tell your mum how upset you are even show her your breasts now an tell her how much this is affecting your life . Its not like your a kid having a tattoo or nose pin to fit in with the other kids . Your a grown woman who has body issues . An instead of being unhappy in your skin your going to do something to change your low self esteem confidence and future . You go for it hun if anything your mum will come round. There are far worse things you could do with your body life ect .

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