Unsupportive Partner…

Hey girlies…back again. Just wondering if anyone has had any experience with this? I love my boyfriend and he loves me too, but he just isnt happy about my BA. I’ve tried to talk to him about it and he’s just said go talk to people who know what you’re on about. Ive asked him to come to all my appointments and hes just said no i dont want to. Ive tried to get him as involved as possible and hir response was i am involved im going to the hospital arent i! So yeah no support…the other day I said you’re gonna have to learn how to put my hair up cause I wont be able to. He looked at me like id just shot the dog and went what are you on about? Your decision deal with it on your own!!! I was so shocked I nearly cried. So now I’m worried that hes not going to help me and I’m going to suffer because he wont look after me! I dont know what to do…sorry for waffling just needed to get it off my chest and you girls are the best at advice. Im so excited for my BA its 3 weeks tomorrow but the thought of having no help during the recovery puts a massive downer on it x x

Hiya, im so sorry to hear that….. must be very hard for you.. Have you actually asked him what his issues are with it.?? & then discussed them.. unfortunately some people can just never understand why we want this done…. Have you any friends or family who may be able to help you for a while after you come out.. it would probably really shock him if you just got on with it & didnt actually need his help… Hope you get on ok…

dunno what to say to that, I would’nt take that from my bf, he would be OUT the door…..what if he needs an operation one day because of say…a football injury? and needs YOUR help? He would have inflicted that on himself….so HE can deal with THAT on his own if it ever happens…..my bf’s too busy to really help, he does gritting and stuff but my parents r gonna help and so is one of my best friends. Have you thought of maybe asking a friend or staying with your parents since he’s so unsupportive?

He said at xmas. You know how I feel when guys look at you now! think about how i’ll be when you’ve got massive tits. I think hes under the impression that when i’ve got my new boobs the most i’ll be wearing is nipple tassels! I love him to pieces and I dont want anyone else and ive told him that! But i think he thinks im doing it for attention. I cant really go anywhere else unfortuntely I live with him and his family and my mummy lives 2 hours away. Not practical at all. I wish i could do that but its not possible. Thank you riggers just talking about it helps so much. x

Aw glad we are helping a bit.. Hope things get better for you then…. can you not organise for your mum to visit for a few days maybe?? If not, hopefully when you come out he will see you need the help & put his issues aside..

awww bexepie didnt see that post. As i said before i live with him and im near work and uni here and my mum lives 2 hours away and works so she wouldnt be able to stay with me. He doesnt work at the mo so its not like id be putting him out! Hes great usually hes just sooo angry about this! I would ask a friend but they all work fulltime and my best friend is taking a day off just to get me from the hospital. I suppose his mum will be around but i havent told her about it yet im too scared. I dont know how sympathetic she’ll be i love her and we’re both close but i cant see her being too happy about this! x x

Hi hun, it just sounds like hes feeling a bit insecure about it. Its to be expected really with some guys…I’m sure he knows youre not doing it for attention deep down. You need to have a good chat cos you are really going to need help afterwards.

Good luck for 3 wks!

Tis normal for guys to feel a bit insecure, just looked at your profile an you’re stunning if that’s your pic, im sure you get plenty of attention already an he’ll just be panicky that you’re gonna get even more, plus more confidence an possible up and leave him.. obviously you know this isn’t the case, it’s just finding a way to make him realise and believe that.

My partner moans about me wearing revealing clothes, even tho they’re the same clothes I wore before – gradually he’s getting used too it, a few bribes of piccies to show they’re fun for him as well the better he gets… I hope you sort it an that he does help you out, I wouldn’t put up with that x

Hey fawn hope your ok, I had all this rubbish at the beginning to be honest I font want you to have it you don’t beed to blah blah blah, I think the reason he is being funny is cause the way you are now to him is perfect and why do you need to change in other words who you tryin to impress?? That’s what I got!! Say to him you’ve made up your mind your doin this for you and only you not to draw attention to yourself but this is what makes you happy!! Tell him how you feel and that you need and want support off him it’s a major change for you and you don’t want to feel alone. Men can be arses babe I afraid I’m sure he will come round to it and if he does not enjoy your new puppies then he’s problem hahhaha, chin up doll xxx

Hi. I know exactly how u feel. My boyfriend was the exact same. He didnt want me to have it done because he thought everyone would be staring at me. He came to see my surgeon with me but my boyfriend wanted me to have a smaller implant than I chose. I couldnt decide which implant to have and only chose on the morning of my surgery. The day before my op he fell out with me n told me he wasnt taking me to the hospital but he rang me at 5am on the day n decided to take me. We still werent talking tho and i got upset going down to theatre. He was fine when i came back from my op becasuse i was in a bad way n wouldnt come round from the anaesthetic. He went back to work the day after n left me to fend for myself for 3 days. He absolutely hated my boobs at first he kept saying they were too big n he wished i never had them done but he came round n now he likes them. If other men look at my boobs he is quite happy because its him im going home with so tell him that lol xxxxx

awwww girlies i really have fallen in love with you all haha, can i go out with you guys instead? well i took all of your advice and spoke to him yesterday. We went out for a gorgeous meal and were having a great time but i had to say something its getting too close now. The conversation resulted to me crying in the restaurant…very embarrassing. You are all right about him being insecure, he said as long as theyre for me and him and no one else. I reassured him as much as i could i mean there is only so much you can say! i told him i was scared and he said he didnt care which hurt. He tried to explain that if i was having a life saving operation then he would understand, and he said obviously hes a bit apprehensive and that he wants me to be ok but its my choice and i dont “have” to have it done. He says he love me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me blah blah blah…but he thinks its all silly, but he will help me he just draws the line at “changing dressings” I was like?? You wont have to do that you idiot. So its all out in the open, i told him hed like them once theyve healed and he agreed that they probably will he just doesnt see why i have to cut myself up and go through unnecessary pain. bless you all i guess all boyfriends have their issues with it but they would never understand!

em2010 – thanks hunny…i wear a hell of a lot of make up tho! you should see me in the morning, not so good! thank you for your advice

hayleylou- yeah i think you are right about the insecurity…but i feel more releaved now, thank you! 3weeks not long getting excited!

telle26- took your advice and said id made up my mind…he said its fine and if im happy then “he supposes thats all that matters” thanks hun!

Carla27- thanks hunny its good to know it works out in the end haha! More importantly i hope you like them

Lotsa love girlies x x

p.s it is true. Men can be very big fat horrible arses haha x x

Hey babe well done u, I’m glad ur feeling better and least you got to talk!!! Oh and don’t worry iv def had tears at a meal lol!!! Hope u feel better in yourself he will come around trust me when he sees them bad boys hahaha. Not long now and your have your new boobs aghhhh, popped out shopping today and ended up in la senza and firt time iv ever smiled so much looking at underwear and swimwear when near ur op walk past obe with ur other half I’m def sure he won’t be saying he doesn’t want u going threw this hahahaha , glad ur ok sweet lots of love xxxx

awww thanks babe. The tears were not my finest hour in public!! At least we have all done it. Oh I’m glad you are smiling chica good for you!!! I just hope you arent in too much pain and not too worried…please let me know how you are doing when youve seen the nurse. Yes my boyfriend will come round…hes gonna have to haha, lotsa love hunny x x

Will do sweety will keep u posted and thank u xx

Men are just weird to be fair. It took me 2 years to convince my boyfriend a boob job is the way forward since he apparently hates fake ones, then he decided he was happy about it and was coming to consultations with me n getting all excited….now he’s decided he dosnt want me to have them it’s such a ball ache, as if it’s not stressful n scary enough most men just don’t seem to understand being suportive! Sorry just had to have a little rant there cus it’s really doin my head in lol xx

awwww hunny i know what you mean its so annoying…although my boyfriend never quite reached the “exciteable stage”. i took the advice to say ive made my decision so live with it. If they cant then thats their problem. Rant away lovely thats what we are here for. I hope you get it all sorted! x x

Yeah I’ve told him I’m goin for it despite what he says. He seems to think im gonna end up a Gcup or something then be parading them round everywhere…somehow I don’t think 260cc will take me to that! idiot. Lol

He dosnt realise it’s about boosting my confidence, not having something new to show off, I’m only a 32a so would just be nice to have some boobies

What size you hoping to be hun? Yu chose your surgeon yet? Xx

So sorry to hear your bf hasnt acted how you’d like through all this. Im 3 days post op n couldnt of done it without that help. I really think you need to get someone on standby just incase as you will go through so many emotions not to mention the pain and immobility of it all. With noone their for you will make it all feel so much worse huni. Hope he comes round and gets a grip of it all, he is obviously very insecure right now n prob nothing u can say can change that. But hopefully seeing how you will need his hepl after the op will work wonders as he will feel manly helping you lol. Hope all goes well hun xx

Chery – Thanks hunny, well he wont have a choice in the end hes gonna see I need help, if he literally left me to rot in bed that would be it but i doubt that would ever happen. It would be a lot simpler if he was like yours though haha happy healing hun! x x

Mercedes – Hey sweety pie, I know exactly what you mean Im pretty sure my boyfriend is under the impression that I’ll be out in nipple tassles. haha, idiots aren’t they! I’m a saggy 32B/C I’m having 460 unders with Mr. Kazazzi on the 4th Feb, not long now eeeeek!! It should take me to about an E but they measure a size bigger than they look, what about you hun? x x

Hey fawn how ru today my sweet, not long until u go under ts going to come round sooooo quick tape off tomorrow for moi yipppppeeeee and hopefully can get some pics up, right one still swollen and in pain but drama queen me I’m sure it’s ok, girls on here are so lovely bless em. Hope ur ok xxx

Hey fawn, I haven’t read all the posts but have browsed through them, how are you getting on?? I’ve been with my boyfriend for 4 years and we do love each other, but he’s started being such an arse over me wanting a BA!! I was hoping to book it with the surgeon on the 21st, but he cancelled on me so I cancelled the appointment and booked the next available one, and now he wants to get out of that one and is telling me to just go on my own because it’s my stupid idea and he thinks it’s a waste of money! I’m really sure that I want it done but everytime he says something like that it’s like a slap in the face making me feel like I’m doing the wrong thing. I’m not telling any of my friends or family because I know they won’t agree with it either, so the fact he’s being like this is making me feel like shit lol has your boyfriend gotten any better about it? xx

Hi girls, fawn your so right men are just big fat mean arses for sure! My boyfriend was fine with everything until I told him I’d put the deposit down, I thought I’d give him time as he was still being kind of supportive but he really pissed me off today, we were looking at pics of fake boobs online today and he was making negative comments about all of them!! Some looked AMAZING. what a arsehole. It’s not like he minds them on all these celebs..Its mad how men perve after these celebs with the great, at times fake bodies yet their so against us getting a helping hand! I’m really annoyed at him right now, I’ve locked myself in the bathroom xxx

Lol khanni I hope you get out of the bathroom soon, mine started off kind of supportive too, but they completely changed! And OH YES when he’s flicking through Nuts magazine it’s fiiiiiine to stare at fake ones but god forbid their girlfriends end up getting a pair! Haha this forum is good for a rant xx

Ah im so glad its not just me that’s going through this rubbish with the other half! Im very stubborn and independant so he’s had to get used to the idea. Im even going to all the appointments on my own. Im taking a friend with me for the op coz us girls need someone supportive there, not someone who’s gonna try talk us out of it. He was fine when I was just googling it and talking about it, but now that Ive been for a consultation and booked my ba and its real, he is being funny about it. He is adamant that he’s not jealous or insecure, he just doesnt understand why I want it and thinks he wont fancy me with fake boobs- hmmm yet his pin up is Carmen Elektra?? I rest my case!! Yes girls, that was his excuse, he doesnt think he’ll fancy me coz Ill have stuck on ‘footballs’!! Ive told him im only going up 2 sizes and want a very natural look so that no-one could tell. I wont be dressed any different and certainly wont be getting them out any more than i do now- which is never! He’s picking me up from the hosp the next day so fingers crossed he will like what he sees!!

As for telling people, Ive told loads of people as I dont want people whispering ‘has she/hasnt she?’. I find peoples comments very amusing and dont take a blind bit of notice. Us girls are making a big decision and can do without people turning thier noses up or being unsupportive! Stay strong ladies xx

Linzi – I’ve had the whole fancy thing too! As my consultant said, what man would look at a great natural-looking fake pair and go ‘nah no thanks’?!?! He thinks they’re gunna be ‘shit’ and fake looking lol so closed minded..

I will tell my close friends at first, but of course that means it will spread like wild fire.. It’s not like I want to pretend they’re real, I just don’t want people to think it’s OK for them to judge me for changing MY body! Good luck though girls, I’m the furthest behind at the mo but can’t wait to put a deposit down xx

Hi girls I love reading everyones stories haha all I can say is BLOODY MEN!!! I had mine done a week today and girls you will be so happy as for the men sod em lol, if they don’t like em there gay hahahaha, mine gave me a few comments but must admit he has been supportive and he likes them lol, if he didn’t I would be a bit worried, girls your doing it for yourselfs so don’t let them bring you down just think come summer time your be smiling has all that matters good luck to you all and like I said I’m so glad I done it xxx

Still in the bathroom girls…I’m waxing my legs now got bored of sulking but I’m not telling him that! I can’t be assed with all this drama, it’s stressful enough as it is xx

Ha ha I forgot!! My fiance first said if I get them done he will dump me. My response? Shall I help you pack? Next thing he said was if I do it then he will get a penis enlargement! ha ha. If he was small Id have said thank god but err… anyway!! Needless to say, he is still here and no sign of a penis enlargement just yet! xx

Lol MEN!! the thing is I want him to find me attractive after I’ve had the op otherwise it’ll just make me feel strange..hes just being super selfish as always xx

Haha linzi you wait til he starts googling it! Yeah khanni all I really want is for him to like them (obviously I want them to look good in general!) but he is the only guy that sees me naked and I want him to accept that it will make me feel so much sexier and more confident (especially in the bedroom lol). I’m sure yours will love them when they’re done, they probably all will! Selfish gits lol xx

We had a huge argument last night and I’ve packed my things.. =[ we’ve been together for three and a half years and he said he doesn’t think we’re compatible anymore..we always end up getting back together usually it’s me that throws a tantrum but this time it feels different. I’m heart broken right now, he’s always said he’d support me through anything. What a load of bull. He said my insecurities about my body are a hinderance to him. How does that even make sense? He’s really hurt my feeling, I’ve got my pre op on weds I don’t think I’ll be up to going xx

Hi all- I’ve not read all the posts on here but I haver the general idea. men are strange yes but I think a lot of you are quite young right? Ie early 20s? I’m 30 with a husband and 3 kids… if you’re man isn’t there for you now and he doesn’t support you then he won’t be ever. There’s a difference in agreeing and supporting… he can disagree, that’s his perogative but he should still support the one he supposedly ‘loves’ and let you be free…..sorry if I sound like an old lady- its the mum in me coming out. Love yourself girls and everyone else will, take no s***!!

Oh Khanni just read your post women and bodies are so different- we really are from venus and men from mars. Follow your gut instinct and do what makes you happy. You’ll know.

Khanni, get to that pre-op and sod him… his choice to be awkward about it, it’s a huge decision about YOUR body, he doesn’t have to agree but as grimleycat says, he should support you no matter what if he chooses not to that shouldn’t mean you put it off, go there and show that it IS what you want regardless of whether he’s there or not, otherwise he may think you’re stalling it as you’re concerned about his feelings!! xxx

Hi Grimleycat, omg you’re not old! ha ha. Im 25, engaged and been together 3 years… no kids yet but I think regardless of age, men can have varying opinions. ie a younger guy might be more excited about his girlfriend having the ba than an older guy who’s been married to the woman for a while- and vice-versa. Men mature at a later stage than women and Im yet to find a mature guy- my ex is 37… Either way, whether the guy agrees or not, we need their support. Its a scary thing we are doing and we need them to be there for us- but they dont have to agree with us.

khanni- hope you’re ok! Shame really but you need to stay strong and continue your MYA process if that’s what you really want. I appreciate you’ve been together for a while and his opinion counts- but it really should just be an opinion and splitting up because of this isnt fair on you. I really hope you sort things out hun. x

Just thought id say…

My husband was unsupportive, called fake boobs repulsive. I had to go to consults myself, I even stayed with my parents for a week while I recovered.

Im 4 weeks out now & he absolutely LOVES them. I think its a mix of being worried if something goes wrong, if guys will give you attention, worrying ur going to run off because youve got new tits etc..

thanks for all the support girls..he’s back from work at 8.30 and he text me to ask me to stay as he wants to talk..i have a really bad feeling about this i’m 24 nearly 25, i finished my studies recently and passed my driving so thought its time to treat myself as i’m sick of padded bras, and trust me mine are SUPER padded, like i loose 2 cup sizes when i take it off lol and that gets me down. i think the boob job is just one factor in this situation, i totally understand what you mean grimley cat, i don’t want to spend my life with someone that’s not willing to support me but after all this time it’s so hard..i feel like i’ve invested in this relationship and he’s just being such an arse..i’ll keep you all posted xx

Oh pickle I know- there really is no answer is there!? Its a big thing to go through and so tough when there is resistance from one end. I was so down about my boobs that I felt unsexy and therefore not sexy and therefore disliked sex- this has shed a part of me and will hopefully make my marriage a bit more juicy!!! Ha ha …Men are sooooo different to us whatever hapens ladies there is always the MYA forum to offload on- what a lifesaver!! Keep smiling xx

Thanks for being so supportive. Coming on here makes me feel a lot better and it’s such an informative place I’ve learnt alot me and the other half made up, he needs to talk about his feelings more and he knows to do that now otherwise things just spiral out of control. Fingers crossed he’ll be ok from now on can’t be doing with this again! xx

Great news khanni! Good luck and hopefully he will come around to the idea. My guy finally has after coming home last night to me wearing rice bags in my bra! Lol! He is coming to hosp with me now. I think we just need to stay strong and focus on what we really want and eventually they may come around. This forum is great for getting things off your chest- and of course adding to your chest!Xx

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