what the hell am i ment to do……

this hasnt got much to do with my actuall ba its just in the past coulpe of months u girls on here have really helped me out, but my fiance of 5 years ended things yes2day, and im so so sad, we have been through so much together and i have always been there for him!!! it all started when i lost weight i have lost 2 stone since last summer, i hadent been happy with my body for a long time but hid it with being bubbly and all the rest, but now im a size 6-8 which is perfact for my 5ft frame its all gone wrong!!! i was feeling down that my boobies had shrunk so my mum said she would give me a ba to get bk what i used to have (when i was 15 i was a 32dd) but over the years lil by lil they have gone!!! so all very good u may think well no!! my bf didnt wnt me to have a ba said i was fine the way i am and that he cant see why i would wnt to put something fake in to my body!! so then i pulled out my 6 fillits (that i have hidden for 2 years cos so embarised) in my bra to show him how much i needed it and have ever sice told that it will bost my confidance and so now on, well he cant haddle me being so incecure and says its too much at 23 after 5 years together! the only reason i have told him im so inceure is cos i had to show him how much i need this bloody ba and now he thinks im a nerves reck with no self esteam!! so now im all alone with out my fiance i know i will have my boobies in a few weeks but it just dont match up to the loss i feel right now!!! 😥

I have had thew exact same problem with my other half, (although he is still with me at the moment…)
He doesn’t understand why i want it and thinks that i will regreat it,
even said to me that he would give me the money for it (Lend…) then declined me after i had been to pre op and consultation.
I luckily managed to get a loan under my own name so am having them done anyway!
So that has annoyed him slightly, i think what it is with men is that they are frightened that we will go find someone else when we have them done. as we will have much more confidence but trying to tell them this is sooo hard! i have been with my partner for 3 years and couldn’t imagine life without him however since i have been looking into it we have done nothing but argue. I think that he will approve once you have them
Try and explain to him how much happier you will be, obviously this will be soo much better for other things like you will feel more comfortable in the bedroom etc…
able to wear skimpy bikinis on holiday and not have to worry about finding one with extra padding.
I put it to my other half that i would support him through anything he would want done, if he wasn’t comfortable with himself i would support him regardless of my opinion, maybe worth telling him this, although he is not a bad person for doing this and i know that your friends will prob give you better advice .
it might just be a little stunt to see if you will go through with it or not. he him self might be insecure about the after time and maybe feels its best to end it now than to let it get too far.
Just try and make him feel as secure as possible! tell him how amazing you will feel when you get married, if things dont go well and you dont get back together then all the girlies on here can help you and support you through your surg! im in oon the 16th feb!
xxxx mwah xxx if you need to chat im here! x

thank u pixie-lou, we are still living toghther for the next 2 months till our rent is clear, so ill just have to see if my womanly charms can get him back, i hope it dose! thanks for the advice hun, it will help and nice to know that im not the only one feeling like this, good luck for the 16th im on the 13 will let u know how it goes xxxxx

Yes defo!
Honestly babe,
EVEN if you have to tell a few white lies to gove his ego a stroke and let him know how much it means,
I said to my other half,
Do you really not want me to have this B.E done.

Because if its going to be a problem or break us up I will honestly re think getting them done,

I don

Charyl i think you should go ahead with it, if your still living together you can have the procedure and prove to him afterwards how happy and confident you are just continue to be a bubbly person and im sure he will see the change in u once u have ur procedure and see that actually ur not a nervous wreck you just want your confidence back when it comes to your boobs. Honestly hes proberbly playing ur bluff i say go ahead with it if it means that much to you and be a happy and bubbly lass after im sure he will se his senses. Good Luck xxx

AWWW POOR YOU!!!! I FEEL SO SORRY FOR YOU! BUT IF YOU ARE SOO IN LOVE STILL WITH HIM, JUST PRETEND YOU ARE VERY SECURE WITH YA SELF N MAKE OUT TO HIM YOU WILL BE A CHANGED PERSON!! IN THE END THOUGH YOU HAVE BEEN 100% HONESY WITH HIM, AND HE SHUD STICK BY YOU! AND SHOULDNT JUST FINISH IT! I THINK REALLY! HES THE ONE WITH THE INSECURITY! AND CANT HANDLE YOUR WEIGHT LOSS AND NEW BOOBIES TO COME! IT SOUNDS LIKE HE,S SLIGHTLY TWISTED THIS,AND MADE OUT IT YOU WHO HAS THE PROB WHEN IN FACT ITS HIM!
YOU HAVE BEEN BRILLIANT AND TOLD HIM EXACLY HOW YOU FEEL, SO HE SHUD BE THERE TO SUPPORT YOU! IF I WAS YOU ID HAVE A LONG HARD THINK INTO THIS, AND MAYBE LOOK AT STARTING A NEW LIFE WITH YOUR NEW BOOBS! AND LEAVE HIM BEHIND! ITS VERY OUT OF CHARACTER FOR HIM TO DO THAT! BUT I SUPPOSE ONLY YOU KNOW HIM! MAYBE HES SCARED YOU WILL RUN OFF WITH ANOTHER BLOKE! YOU NEED TO TAL;K THIS THROUGH WITH HIM AND ASK HIM IF HE IS THE REAL REASON HES ENDING IT! I REALLY THINK HE,S A BIT JEALOUS OF YOU! BUT WILL PROB COME ROUND INA WEEK OR SO!! MEN ALWAYS SAY THINGS THAT THEY DONT MEAN! THEN CHANGE THEIR MINDS AFTER THEY REALSIE THEY ARE BEING WANKERS! LET US KNOW HOW YOU GET ON!! xxx

charly!
not a very nice situation honey, i think you may need to try and decide which you would prefer? i had my BA 6 months ago & my boyfriend at the time was very against it, he always said he liked small boobs and he thought it would make me look fatter/bigger. i told him to get lost and that i was doing it anyway, he ended up coming to the hospital with me and being endlessly supportive. he loves my boobs now (we broke up for a while some time after i had them done and he let slip that he prefered them before) but i think he can see how happy it makes me. but he wont stop touching them now, he finds it quite intruiging i think.
possibly the main thing is your happiness, if he doesnt wanna be with you cause youre gonna have fake boobs he’s not worth it. as long as you get them done nicely(not too big or stupid) then i cant see that he should have too much of a problem with it. try and talk to him, you can talk him round im sure. my boyfriend was worried about me going over the top with it i think, but now my boobs have settled noone would evn notice.
i think its better if you try and portray it as something you want and not something you need. and you may need to wait until he is ok with it again. as much as its for you, theres no point in ruining your relationship.
good luck!

thank u everyone!!! guess only time will tell! thanks again girlies! xxxx 🙂

wel sorry to hear this hun but Honestly hes not worth getting bak with if he cant support u through something that means alot to u! He should support u through ANYTHING. Get rid and find someone who will love and except u and stand by u no matter what! Good luck we are all here 4 support x x

Charly, I think with your weightloss and new boobs, he’s probs the one feeling a lil insecure.
Like others have said, maybe he’s scared that you’ll find a new man, or he’s worried your gonna get attention off other men, when infact he should really be flattered.
If this man really loves you, im sure he’ll change his mind, and realise that in the long run, it’s your confidence and happiness thats important too.

Hope it all turns out gd for u, let us know what happens hun

xx

Hi Charly, i’m 31 now an happily married 2nd time lucky, I did however marry at 21 having been with my then boyfriend for 5 yrs, about year into the marriage i realised that we were more like bro & sis and divorced at 23! In my experience (god that makes me sound old), people grow apart and use any excuse usually the easiest to get themselves out of a situation, blame the other person to make the split easier and make themselves feel better, i know cos its what i did, sound like a bitch i know, but he moved on rather quickly as did i, still speak to him now no hard feeling but def the right decision. You have to do what you want to do, be selfish cos if you dont you’ll regret it and resent him, who knows it might all work out! they you go a big sis speech haha, take care xx ps totally agree with gtikay!

Hey charly,

I’m 32 now, 33 in 6 months. I’ve had several boyfriends none of which matched up to even HALF the man I have now. I was completely heartbroken after each and every one but believe me you get over it and you find someone else. The thing is, if he’s not being supportive of something you want to do SO SO badly, something that deeply upsets you as a topic and is making you cover it up on a daily basis for shame, then he’s no man he’s just a boy. A real man would listen to how you feel and at least try to understand you. Whether they did or didnt understand your feelings they would support you.

You need to do what’s right for you. You can’t live your life for other people. Make yourself happy and if your mum’s supportive then that’s all you need. Mums know best. Ask your mum what she thinks of your fella for dumping you over all this and see what she says. I’m sure she’s far from keen on the guy who’s broken her little girl’s heart rather than support her!! If I was your mum I’d be telling him to f off out your flat immediately and go waste someone else’s time/ruin their life by being in it and if need be help you out with rent for 2 months! HA! Tell him to JOG ON!!! And then go get some sexy as hell clothes and be seen out and about with your fab boobs looking HOT AS HELL! in.his.face. !

Anyway, you say you’re on 13th – I’m on 13th too! Where are you having your op? I’m at Manchester.

xxxClarexxx

hiya hun my boyfriend was the same as yours fin me called me a self bitch n everythin.. he cheatd on me b4 i got them done and i forgive him th lot killed me everyday but still we got threw it then for him to call me selfish and stuff really hurt me so i fort no u kno wot it is its my time to be selfish if thats what hes guna call me.. and i went ahead and done it all on my own.. after th week i got them done he has lickd my arss so much i mean honestly its clean haha (sounds yak but thats how much he groveld) and he loves them he tells me everyday how beautful i am and how lucky he is to have me and how sorry he was for the things he does and we have been great.. and i mean we havnt getin on in nearly a year i was crakin up nd everythin but since iv had my boobs its been fab… so do it for yourself not for him dont think your guna lose him.. coz hel ethier run back to you and sorry etc lyk my lad… OR youl find a better lad and yeah youl be thinkin now no il not i cant find one but trust me you can there is someone out thr 4 every1.. jst keep ur head up high and do what you think best hun all th best hope u work things out xxxxxx

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