feeling really upset Started by: Anonymous
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AuthorPosts
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Anonymous
0pWell, as I said before I am getting my BA done on the NHS.
I called the surgeon’s office today because I haven’t seen my surgeon for about 8 weeks and I was told that my last date for surgery was June 2nd. I said this to his secretary and she said that I’m not even on his waiting list yet… I thought I only had 5 weeks to go, turns out I won’t be on the 18week long wait list until the end of May at the earliest… So it could be October before I get my surgery…
Apparently I’ve been put on a ‘watchful wait’ – they’ve had to talk me through a lot and order a size kit, which the NHS don’t usually do but I have such rubbish boobs that they’re having to treat it as a special case…
The thing is my husband has to drive me to hospital, we’ve had numerous trips and he has to take days off work to take me, so he’s running out of holidays and if he doesn’t have any left by the time the surgeon gives me a surgery date then I don’t know who will look after me after the op. The surgeon said because of the placement I’ll need help at home for about 2-3 weeks, we have young children too… I am just so upset. I thought I was nearly there… I was looking forward to buying new summer clothes and underwear – not having to layer 2-4 bras under stuff in the blistering heat……..IT’s painful, and I wasn’t even on their wait list. I have a letter saying I’d be on the wait list after our first appointment, which was in February, but I was also told that it’d be from the date of my referal, which was late January… Taking me to June 2nd…
:'( Another 6 months of waiting… I don’t even know why I’m bothering any more.
You have had such a rubbish time. I hope they sort it out for u soon, and it will all be worth the wait in the end. Think of it as the one last summer without amazing boobs.. I done mine privately but I waited almost a year as i got really ill leading up to surgery and I had to wait another few months. It’s an agonising wait but it’ll be here before u know it x
Anonymous
0pThanks Becky. It really has been a nightmare… It was such a shock this morning speaking to his secretary – I burst into tears, she was apologising and saying sorry but she couldn’t change it etc…
I’m just annoyed that they didn’t tell me about not being on the waiting list. I just have to hope now that they deal with it really quickly once I’m on the waiting list. I just hope it doesn’t happen when my husband is due to be away, he couldn’t cancel it and my family live so far away that it’d be difficult to ask them to come instead.I can understand why ur upset but it will soon come round and you can forget all the crap and will be able to enjoy ur new boobs.
Lillith Rose
0pYou won’t be on a waiting list as it’s not technically medical treatment for something that needs to be sorted out urgently. People on a waiting list are people who are ill such as cancer patients etc.
Considering it will be free it’s worth waiting for and six months isn’t a long time xI do see why ur frustrated!! But u are getting ur boobies done for free, I bet there are many girls who would like to be able to get them done on the NHS so u are lucky really! Hope it all works out for u x
Anonymous
2pIf I was getting it for. Free IDE would wait two years also there are many more lady’s need thaat op b4 you my anuite is one of them on the waiting list for her BA after two years of getting rid of cancer and hears you complaining about the NHS which you are getting for free at least you haven’t had your Breast cut off just think of all the lady’s that have instead of thinking of shopping trips get a grip if you don’t like the way the NHS are being stretched by cash flow go prievert like the rest of us NHS are doing there doing not like yours is life or death is it
Woooo ladies calm down!! No one knows this ladies circumstances so let’s not judge. It takes a huge amount of courage to come on to these forums and we should all be supporting one another regardless of whether its private or nhs…
Julie Dawes
0pMe too xx
Anonymous
2pIt just. Did my head inn. Seeing this post as auntie. Had Breast cancer and both breast cut off. And she’s down n depressed but happy to be still alive and she’s been waiting. Two years for. This op so god forgive me if I’m not showing any sympathy 6 months is nothing compared to that
I’m sure this last has been waiting much longer than that in fact I remember her telling me it’s been years and she’s been through terrible ordeal that she had chose not to share with everyone so I just feel that if we don’t know all the facts then we shouldn’t judge. I’m very sorry to hear about your Aunty though xxx
Anonymous
2pI’m not judging any one I’m just saying it’s Inventive to go on like that 6 months is not a long time to wait as there is lot more ppl worse off than hear self that need the op 1st she should be over the moon and happy that NHS are taking her on and I wish her all the best for it But many of us girls had to wit and save up for the op Too i
Megan
0pWaiting is extremely hard! I waited 5 years before I could have my boobs done but wow it was worth the wait changes your life completely! It’s tough but I guess there’s not a lot you can do other than wait:(. As far as having a boob job on the nhs goes won’t rant about that as everyone’s situation is very different so shouldn’t be judging.x
I don’t think anyone’s judging, just more saying remember the positives and that u are fortunate. I’ve wanted this op for 10 years and I’ve still gotta wait till Aug which is such a drag lol, so I completely understand this ladies frustration! x
@Deb119c yes i agree and tbh its not just a boob job wether it be on nhs or private its actually makes a difference to your whole life you can neva be happy if your not content with what you have and yes its frutratin ovcourse the unexpected prolonged wait is but atleast you kno u will be havin a BA so chin up and and dont stress on it hun.. and @ayesha im so sorry bout ur auntie my aunt bin thru cancer too but didnt want to go thru breast surgery i guess some are stronger than uders xx
Anonymous
0pI’ve been waiting for 2 years for this myself, so don’t tell me to calm down and stop thinking about shopping trips. It’s not just shopping trips. It’s the pain that goes with wearing 3-4 bras (that hurts) and the difficulty of being intimate with my husband, that I am really down and struggle with leaving the house.
I’m not on the waiting list because he is doing thing differently because I didn’t develop as a teenager. I was bullied for years because I don’t have a chest. I had people tell me I was ugly, that I’d never have anyone love me, I was sexually abused as a kid, my ex-boyfriend told me I wasn’t a woman because I don’t have boobs, that’s had a huge affect on me…. DON’T YOU DARE TELL ME NOT TO FEEL BAD THAT I’M HAVING TO WAIT ANOTHER 6 MONTHS AFTER WAITING SO LONG. I was told I was on a waiting list. That’s obviously not what they’re doing. There is a waiting list, but I won’t be on it until I have a size fitting, which they don’t normally do for NHS patients, my case is so different that they’re having to do it this way!! I thought I was only 5 weeks away from surgery. Now I’m another 6 months away from it, and I’ve been waiting for this for years.Yes there are women who have cancer. Yes I’m getting it for free, but I’ve had therapy, councelling, anti depressants…. I had to go through loads to get as far as I have I II still feel like I’m being pushed aside, which is maybe the wrong way to look at it, but my every day life is hard. I’m really grateful that my surgeon is taking me on. I’m not sitting here with A cup boobs. I’m sat here flat chested, hating myself, padding bras out to try to have a figure, trying to pretend I’m ok, and then ou say that. Who are you? Why do you think you have the right to judge me???? Just because you’re aunt had cancer? I lost my grandmother (who looked after me a lot as a kid) to breast cancer. I am not sitting here blind to what cancer does to people. I lost my dad to cancer as well, and my grandad, and my daughter has growths in her throat that are currently being investigated as well. HOW DARE YOU!!! I know what cancer is like. I’ve watched plenty people battle it.
How dare you! your aunt may have had cancer, but I’ve been through a lot as well. How dare you! I’ve saved up, I told my surgeon that I wanted to pay for it and he said that the NHS are willing to do it because of my medical history and what I’ve been through. So the money is sitting there. It’s not like I want a free op. In fact it’s all these hateful comments that made me wary of going with the NHS in the first place. I don’t want free boobs. I work hard for the things I have in my life, I’m not the kind of person who expects people to give me anything for nothing.
It’s not that I’m stomping little bimbo feet saying I want boobs for attention. I want them to feel like a woman, because I’ve never felt like one. That’s all. It’s not easy feeling like you don’t belong in the female world because you can’t dress like a woman, or having people constantly say you have the smallest boobs, or having people ask if you have an eating disorder – I had to prove to my school that I wasn’t anorexic at one point… In fact, my surgeon said that although I haven’t had cancer, he’s treating my case as if I was a reconstruction patient because I have no breast tissue.
That’s the last I post on this forum. I just want to share my experiences and make other women aware of what going with the NHS can be like. I was really upset yesterday. Now I feel worse, so thanks. Thank you very much for reminding me that the NHS is there to treat medical conditions. I even told my surgeon I wasn’t comfortable with the whole thing because of that. He said the NHS is there for women like me who haven’t developed, so I shouldn’t feel bad about it.
I’m glad you have the money to pay for your surgery and have time to hate on people who’ve been through lots of crap and have had a horrible life because of other people judging me on my breast size. Thank you for taking me back to all the bullying I went through. That was lovely. Really. You’re a gorgeous person.
To all the women who haven’t been nasty, thank you for understanding that it’s difficult for me, if there was another option I wouldn’t be doing this. I’m scared. It’s not just having boobs, it’s feeling like I belong in the female world and getting over everything else. I wouldn’t judge anyone on how they were doing their boob job, and if there are any women out there who are going with the NHS, I want them to know that it’s not a bad way to do it, providing you aren’t doing it to get a free surgery. It’s not about the money.
im soooo sorri to hear everything you have written its so sad and you are one brave girl you really are plz neva give up and stay strong you have been thru so much and plz dont leave the forum its good to talk and take it all out and plz dont think bout the past it will only make you feel depressed again you hav support now and things are goin to happen for you dont stress like i said before its not just a boob job its a life changing experience which means so mch to have done to stay sane plz dont give up xx
Oohh Hun I don’t think anyone wanted to upset u in anyway or expected u to explain urself…but if your going to post on a forum your going to get different opinions! Don’t let it stop you posting on here thou, this forum is for everyone who wants/is having surgery! Anyways I wish u the best of luck!x
Anonymous
0pWell I kind of felt I had to after being told that I need to get a grip because someone’s aunt has cancer… I’m sorry that I dont and that I’m taking up valuable time with my surgeon who could be operating on someone like her aunt, or on someone’s burn scars… I’m clearly the kind of person who acts like a spoiled brat because I’m hurt that I was told the wrong thing… Anyone would be upset by being told one thing, and then another thing happening.
This is really hard for me. I just want to feel like and be a woman.
I don’t think it’s up to anybody to tell me to be grateful for getting it for free. I would still feel the same about it if I was going private. And I wasn’t raised to be ok with being a charity case. I work hard, I don’t expect anyone to pay my way, I’m not a scrounger – that’s how that comment made me feel. And the thing is I still would go private, but I like my surgeon, and he’s actually just off the phone telling me that he’s sorry that he delayed the surgery, but he just felt that I’d benefit from seeing him more in the lead up to surgery because of the way he’s choosing to do it, and that he is sorry he didn’t explain that clearly to me, and that I’m upset that it’s not happening when I thought it would be. But he will be treating my case as a priority because of the extra wait. If he can understand that it’s hard for me, I would expect that another woman who’s had implants already, would be able to sympathise with how hard is it to hate having no boobs. And when I say that I mean it. I’m not even a AAA cup. My husband has more meat on his chest than I do.
He came home last night with lasagne and ice-cream and said if I wanted to go private we’d do it. But I want to see what happens after having waited for so long.
I over-reacted yesterday, it’s just hard to be waiting longer… I’m sorry that I’ve upset people who’s aunts have cancer. But it’s not like I don’t know what that’s like. My gran had a tumour the size of a tennis ball in her chest. My dad died at 44 of cancer, I was 20, my youngest sister was only 15. My dad didn’t get to walk me down the aisle at my wedding, he’s not met my kids… It’s hard losing a parent. So it’s not like I don’t get what cancer does to people, and families… It’s just that this boob thing is hard for me because of my past. I’m not saying that I want to be put before anyone with a medical condition, I’ve had enough illness in my family to know that something like a boob job is nothing to having cancer, heart problems, seizures… So… yeah… I just felt her comment unnecessary. Her aunt has nothing to do with me, and it’s not up to me how the NHS do things. And that sounds harsh, but I have no patience for nasty people who feel they can judge me without even knowing me.
Sorry but i think you yourself are being rude,calling her a ‘gorgeous person’ sarcastically and ‘all because your aunt had cancer’ WOW LOW!.. i’m sorry that you’ve been bullied ect but we all have had issues with our boobs and our own problems with not feeling comfortable and people making comments ect. and no actually not all of us have had the money, i got under-paid due to unforeseen circumstances and had to borrow money of a family member so now can’t look to shopping trips you talk about as i owe money so going to be skint till i pay it back. (i’m sure i seen a post where you said cause your circumstances had changed so you could now not afford it?) I’m 20, a single mum of two and the amount of stress i’ve had over it all is a lot longer than six months and the countless sleepless nights, as well as my own reasons for disliking my boobs and not feeling like a woman. i don’t think she was judging you cause your getting it for free, but your upset cause you have to wait for it, at least you are getting it unlike the many women waiting who need it for medical reasons. Many ladies on here save for much longer than six months so have to wait, so don’t presume we all just have a load of cash and can just go and get it cause some of us don’t, i’m at uni and have saved for a long time for it. you should count yourself lucky and the best advice i can give is if you are that bothered about the service your being offered, go to a different surgeon and pay for it, especially if you have the money…you pay for what you get.
Well done Deb…. and well said…. like I said you should never judge someone until you walk in there shoes…. there is enough people in the world putting people down that this forum should not be the same…. we as women have the chance to support and help one another on here not to make assumptions about people without them knowing the facts.
and now you have driven her off this forum…. shame on you
siobhan
0pI’m pretty sure 95% of the ladies on here have been bullied for having a flat chest and I too was accused of being anorexic in high school and even asked how many ugly pills I’d taken on a daily basis, even had kids say they didn’t believe I had periods because I didn’t have a woman’s body. I’m not judging for going through the nhs and i hope it all works out for you but I think you’ve taken what ayesha said out of context.
Ayesha will never know the personal effects bullying has had on you even if she’s been through it herself just as you will never know the impact her aunties cancer has had on her even though you’ve been through it yourself.
I’ve had cancer scares myself and i’m going through one right now in TWO different parts of my body and having to wait weeks before my next appointments even though its something that could progress in that time but unfortunately there’s a list and all I can do is wait .
I’m sorry you feel like you’ve been pushed off the forum though, I really am and hopefully you’ll be back one day to tell us how happy it’s made you because I know not all illnesses are physical as this has clearly affected you mentally xx
siobhan
0pShould have said emotionally sorry, not accusing you of being a crazy person x
You must of known coming on this forum people wouldn’t agree with it so you should of been prepared for the heated comments. No one has driven her off no one has said get off this forum because your getting it on the NHS etc. I think that’s unfair to say that! and no we shouldnt judge before knowing the full story! but I think its pretty obvious people are going to have bad opinions on this as it did come across her complaining waiting when there is people out there worse off
Nikki
0pShe shouldn’t be on the mya forum anyway if shes having free tits on the nhs!!! I feel so strongly about this. I have suffered bullying, depression, and was sexually abused as a kid yet I got off my arse and saved up for a surgery that IS cosmetic. The only people who should have bas on the nhs are those who have been poorly and had them removed for life and death reasons! Nice to know where all my tax money goes…on free boobs.
Nikki
0pWhilst im ranting, due to being sexually abused as a child my hymen was torn too much and I suffered internally. Then I had a 10lb baby with no medical intervention which knackered things further. I spent twelve years in the doctors surgery and every single one said it was cosmetic. So guess what I did? I paid for perinium repair and cosmetic gynacology instead of trying to get a free foof. I guess I should be grateful for the antidepressants huh.
She is going to get a wide range of opinions, never mind on this forum on ANY public forum! and I’m not being funny on a previous post she made she said she’d saved it and now couldn’t afford it but her husband was gonna use the saved money for new vintage dresses for her now that she had been accepted on the NHS….Hardly seems stuck for cash & if your choosing not to use your money to pay for it you can’t complain at the service you get!! She even states on this post she HAS the cash and she’s still choosing to go NHS!!! it’s common sense if you wasn’t happy with waiting and/or the service your getting you would use the money you had to go private!! Regardless the only comments uncalled for was hers. disgusting saying to someone ”just cause your aunt had cancer”.
sorry to hear about that Nicky, but i totally agree with everything you say. Keep your head up xx
natalie
0pSounds like she was being judged to he honest,majority of people go through crap so everyone should know what it feels like. She had a right to post whatever she wanted on here and she sounded like she needed the support,if you dont agree with how shes getting her ba then you shouldnt have commented. If shes getting them on nhs then she obviously qualifies, i think everyone who gets a ba on the nhs are all equal and should be treated equally,its not the actual women whos fault it is for the way you feel about how corrupt the nhs are. I personally feel so sad and sorry for this women who wrote this and seeing all these comments. Its like everyone has put there own life and situations into this when it wasnt needed. This site is supposed to be for support and wether women are having there ba’s on the nhs or privately should all be treated the same! Saddens me to see this kind of thing
natalie
0pAlso dont go mad at me this is my own thought and opinion,we all have them.
Anonymous
2pMegan. You hit the nail on the head with that I was going to say the same thing till the red mist come over my head and I had girls I boxing me being upset that they had been kicked bk from the NHS I Waited 2years and worked hard when I should have been at home on my mat leave af having my little boy the NHS is the best thing. About England I’m all up for. That but complaining about being put bk 6 months as there are ppl in much more need of ops 1st isn’t. Something to be upset about as they will do there. Best to get round to you x
Anonymous
2pI’m. So fat judging. NHS. Are doing there best to sort everyone out and. 6 months isn’t a long time to wait keeping in mind there are many more. Ppl n need of ops 1st that’s all I’m saying I’ve. Had 7 girls inbox me upset as they have been kicked back from NHS and nowhere else to turn and they think that deb is rubbing there faces in it
Whereas some of you, or perhaps most of you, may not agree with her getting the cosmetic surgery on the NHS, i think being mean to her is very unfair, especially if you don’t know what she’s been through on a personal basis. If she reached the criteria on the NHS (FYI, it’s incredibly strict with cosmetic surgery, i had to pay for lipo (im a size 8) because the NHS royally cocked up my shattered pelvis and ruined my right hip and left me with a load sheered off muscle and fat..and that was for a situation that was their fault which their incompetent air ambulance doctor caused), then they must have thought she was worthy of it.
Do i agree with cosmetic surgery on the NHS? Not really, i feel it could go towards other resources or be used for reconstructive surgery. However, i would never be rude to someone over the internet for their choices in the matter, most of us will know what it’s like to be bullied because of our boobs (or lack of haha) and i think this website should be used to support eachother, not drive people away xxAnonymous
2pHey girls to make it clear. I got. My back up with her complaining. About having to wait for her free tits that’s least she can do as there is many more ppl that need NHS. Treatments b4 her she’s acting like a spoilt brat we all had to work hard putting in the hours to save for years for our ops she sent me a inbox saying. She could. Have payed for her own op but her partner had signed her up for NHS not being funny our anything but she would have had to signed her own paper work she’s made it worse by saying that she’s using our tax to pay for it when we could be paying out for some1 who really needs it I’m all up for that for the NHS months now she’s been rubbing girls faces in it about her free op y dose she feel need to tell everyone she’s getting it for free and upsetting the girls who have been kicked back and knowing she could have afford to pay for it after all and happy to tell everyone about she’s got no right to upset about the NHS she’s getting wot she wants in the end but she’s got to bear in mind she need think about over ppl that need to under b4 her you get wot you pay
Lillith Rose
0pSorry but I have been bullied for having no boobs, have been sexually and emotionally abused, been to counsellors for 6 years and on all sorts of anti depressants, had to have CBT, DBT and psychotherapy and have NEVER felt like a woman, wore extremely padded bras with clothes so baggy I looked fat when I weighed 7 stone and I’ve NEVER worn a low cut top or dress in my entire adult or teenage life but I waited SIX YEARS because I didn’t want to waste NHS money on a problem that can be tackled privately. After my first MYA consultation I had to save up for over two years anyway!
You even stated months ago that you had the money but fancied having it free anyway cos you were accepted. Don’t complain about things you’re getting FOR FREE just cos you’ve had to wait a bit longer than you wanted.Oh my God this has confused me to hell! Because I read all your posts and really can see everybody’s point of view and agree with all.
..I’ve been bullied too for lack of boobs, laughed at and questioned wherever i was a boy or a girl etc.
We have all gone through that, some Much worse than others admittedly..and my heart breaks for them too.
However, everything aside, can you honestly say, hand on heart- that if you had the chance on doing it on the NHS, you wouldn’t?
I would! Yes, of course! But I think we have missed the point: take the money out of equation (try), and imagine you’re getting excited that you’ll have your new boobs and all your dreams will come true.. And you count down the days till you can wear a nice dress, bra and will feel whole again..etc etc.. To suddenly find out you’ve been tricked, you’ve been lied to and you’re waiting in vain.. As I said, try not to think about how and who’s paying for it… Imagine it’s you..In her shoes.
Needless to say if I had the money; I wouldn’t wait any longer than I should. (And I’m not.. Paid in full, and a hell of a lot too). It’s a shame though, quite a lot of girls got upset here unnecessarily. What she has done / going to do(free or not), doesn’t affect my present or my future. Envy or jealousy won’t help me heal any quicker..
I think a little kindness will go a long way. If nothing else, for your own sanity concentrate on healing..that’s all I care about. Be happy and well for my family and children.I think its pathetic this same girl has been moaning and moaning about how long the nhs are taking to do her boob job…and everything shes moaned about has most likely affected every single woman on here at some point, bullying, name calling, lack of confidence, not feeling like a woman blah blah blah we have all been there, maybe if she put as much effort into saving money than going back and forth her gp all these years she would of paid for it herself like every other person has to….why is the nhs doing hers for free?? why is she so different from every other woman whos been depressed because of being flat chested?? the answer is nothing, shes no different but has obviously had more time to harass and harass the nhs until they agreed!! hell no I dont agree with tax payers money on free boob jobs and then to moan about how long its taking!!! she sure as hell doesnt get my sympathy!! I hope other people who NEED surgery are seen to first and foremost!
I agree with a lot of the posts on here. I could have got my boobs done on the NHS but decided not to for many reasons such as my pride, a long wait, no choice in surgeon, and generally just wanted to pay for it so I know exactly what I’m getting and no guilt going through the NHS. I have one huge breast and one which is barely there at all, I’ve been lucky enough never to have been bullied but through out my whole life I’ve been insecure, self conscious and felt deformed. Seeing my case on “embarrassing bodies” made it even worse! Now I’ve paid for my surgery and it is next month I know how lucky I am and will appreciate my new boobies knowing all that money I paid for them and even that will give me some self worth! But everybody is different and at the end were all having a life changing transformation and we all must have felt like this at some point if we’re getting it done? X
Ab
0pI think that most girls on here have may of been bullied and have major issues both with their bodies and in life.
I know I don’t and never even look at my own breasts.
What gives her a special right to speak in that way. What makes her more deserving than any of us.
We have all scrimped saved worked ourselves to the ground for months even years (I know I have)
But will always get people that have stuff handed on a plate. But I personally would rather pay my own way and feel proud for saving and getting something for myself.
I will never agree with someone taking away possibly a chance of savings anothers life.
Because at the end of the day if you think about it in the way that your child was seriously ill and needed a life saving operation and a doctor said sorry we don’t have any funding or a theatre free because there is someone having a boob job. Not saying that would happen but to just step back and think about it in that way. Or even women that have have had their breasts removed or parts removed and need reconstruction surely they are more deserving.
And to play the I was abused card so I deserve a breast enlargment I’m sorry but that it low and degrading an a insult to all women who have been abused.
We use this forum to seek advice from each other and support as we are In The same postion I don’t feel she is so good riddance. -
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