Oh god I'm devastated, such a mess right now :(

It’s totally off the subject but I just need a chat and I kno all you girls are so supportive n caring on here.my boyfriends always told me I’m the one n he’s never felt this way about someone before n all that jazz n I honestly feel the same, he’s just seemed perfect to me but now it’s all gone wrong. Basicily a few months ago my bfs idiotically left his facebook logged on my phone n I had a sneaky look to see that he’d been messaging all these absolutely perfect girls telling them how stunning they are n begging to meet up with them… I was in tears n finished with him there n then but he’d begged me to take him back n I did, telling me ‘I’ll never hurt you again mercedes you mean the world to me’ being as gullible as I am I believed him n took him back…well a couple months later he goes n does it again doesn’t he, telling gorgeous girls how much he wants them. Same old shit I left him, he begs, I take him back. Ever since I’ve just felt paranoid constantly, n he is blatantly still doin it all so when I broke in to tears n told how much it wasn’t hurting and I’m finding it really hard to trust him he told me he’s had enough n walked out. I went after him n BEGGED him to stay with everything I had in me, that’s how weak and pathetic I am. In the end he stayed but said it was my last chance. Then tonight I was ment to pick him up from work n we have a nice night in together so come 10 o’clock i text him like surely your finished now n he’s like yeah I’m goin town baby so I’m like wtf I’ve been waiting around for you all night n he’s like oh shut up I’m goin town deal with it or f*ck off. I’m so done with this crap girls but it hurts so bad, I think he is actually cheating on me even tho he swore he never would after 3 years of being constantly cheated on by his ex. What have I done to deserve this I’m in bits right now xx

Omg sounds exactly like the situation I was in a few years back. I found out several times I was being properly cheated on…yet he managed to twist it so that I was the one literally begging to stay together. I did this cos when I confonted him about blatant signs he would make me out to be paranoid, mentally unstable and paranoid and I would start thinking it was me, so much so that I became too scared to ever bring him up on anything. It wasn’t a relationship and I knew I was a puppet on a string.

I dont wanna sound like trisha or Jeremy Kyle but you have to take control and realise that whatever pain you go through in finally taking the upper hand and ending it will be a lot less than the time and pain you’ll continue to spend in the relationship being treated like a doormat. At the moment he knows that he can do just about anything he wants and you’ll still be there. You deserve soooo much better and soon you’ll have the confidence and self esteem to move on and show him what a complete fookin muppet he’s been.x

I was in a similar situation at the begininning of the year. Had been with my boyfriend for two years, he was my world, we spent all if our time together (or so I thought) and got on fantastically. I thought I would go on to marry him. In the last few weeks of us being together several people told me he was cheating bit he convinced me otherwise, in the end I looked through his phone (something I dobt believe in because trust is paramount in a relationship) and found well, what I’ll say was thd evidence I needed!! I confronted him and he admitted it, wanted us to try again. At that time I would’ve done absolutely anything to make the physical and emotional pain go away, it’s the worst feeling ever! So I know where you’re coming from, but honestly he doesn’t deserve you, you deserve someone who is 100% committed to you (although at the moment like I said you’ll still want him).

It’s taken me a good 6 months to realise that I’m better off single than with a man who’s going to mess me about. Get shot and live your life for you, in a few months time you’ll start to realise he’s not worth the pain and heartache.

Sorry for the rambling, hope you get sorted, and remember be happy.

Nic xx

Thanks so much for your replies girls its really sweet of you n I know your both right, hope your both good n happy now

It just gives you that horrible feeling where you feel sick to your stomach when you see or hear summat like that. He’s got it so easy right now cus he can do as he pleases n kno I won’t dare say anything to him in the fear that hel up n go. But like even if he’s nit actually cheating the way his speaking to these girls makes me feel just as bad, like I’m not good enough as all these girls are stunning and it’s like he’s saying to me oh I could have any of these you should feel lucky. He’s just rang me now saying he’s sorry he’s a dick n doesn’t deserve me blah blah blah, he’s right he really doesn’t but I can’t tell you how releived I felt just to hear summat nice from him n it shouldn’t be like that, I don’t wanna be feeling like crap until he dies summat as simple as say oh I’m sorry. He said that it’s cus I’M different?! Said that I’m always paranoid when he’s on his phone or goes off onto Facebook nd I keep acting like I’m not interested. He doesn’t take into account that it’s his fault I’m being like this, I’ve neverrr been worried about other girls before in any relationship. N I’m acting different cus of what I seen, I don’t wanna be all lovey with him cus itl just hurt even more when he does summat else. I’m just trying not to be the vaunrable one. I wanna be able to just pick my self up again n move on. Anyway were gonna talk properly tomoro n I kno I won’t be able to end it

Sorry for goin on girls just feel I have no one else to talk to, all my mates think it’s easy as saying oh finish with him n come town at the weekend to get wasted, youl be fine! It’s not the best thing really is it ha xx

No need for an essay for this advice. Get rid or continue to get hurt, your choice chic. Oh and I’d set fire to all his clothes etc, in the back garden of course it will hurt like hell for a while but you WILL get over it. Xxx

Aww Hun I know it’s the hardest thing to do but cut your losses and end it now! You will only get hurt more in the long run. I’ve always been told never ever be a doormat!! And if you take him back you are putting yourself in that position right in front of the door every time he goes out of it! Chin up Hun xx

OMG how does this ring true to me… I have had simular. Was supposed to be getting married next year abroad. Booked it all. Found out AGAIN hed been ion dating sites. Thought he would have learned the last 5 times in the last 3 years but NO. So I called the wedding off. Made sure hed paid for my boobs before confronting him. and yet again I got the your paranoid. No I know his email password so I checked. I made him go on and he thought cause he had deleted the messages I would believe him. Ummm dont think so. I retrieved the deleted messages and omg his face. So im still there as its as much my home but I cant forgive him at the mo. Im hurting and I am making sure he knows this time I mean business. I dont trust him maybe that will come in time. Thing is I think he does it cause he is insecure. I dont know why I have never made him feel that, but I think it sems from his past. So now I am paying. Basically do wht you feel is right for you. But I am very strong now cause of this and I am doing things the way I want now. Hope your ok. Be strong for you. You only get one life. Dont let some idiot bring you down. Your worth so much more. Essay over with lol. Take care hunnie. All us girls are there for you. xx

Thing is hun he’ll keep treating u like this if u allow him too at the min he’s making u out to b a mug.. Leopard never changes it’s spots and all that there us ppl out there who WILL treat u good believe me!!

I moved myself from Newcastle to London for My man I left all my family and friends and made my daughter leave all her family and friends she was only 5.. All the ppl I kno and all the things I do are centred around my boyfriend and are all his friends so if we ever broke up I’d have no friends or nothing down here but I do love the place.. But if I ever found out he’d been messaging other girls or cheating that would be the END full stop even to I’d b completely alone in a big city were independent women we came into the world alone and not every man is bad its just onwards and upwards I kno it would b hard cos all break ups are but look u do get over it I’m sure u have an ex! U can’t let everyone tell u to leave him cos i kno as much as everybody else u take it on board but u don’t listen uv gotta feel ureself uv had enough and tell him to do one!!

I smell a manipulator, liar and a bully who has power over a sweet and tender girl. He has you just where he wants you. Treats you like sh!t and then makes you out to be the problem. Powerless to get over my man like that – I married mine and things only get worse. And guess what he hurt me so much prior to marriage I was a Paranoid mess throughout our marriage and in the end I fell fr someone else who was kind to me. Someone who listened to me and treated me like a queen. So guess who became the cheat and guess who was then the victim! These men will not protect you. They are very selfish. I hV beautiful girls from him but a very bad emotional scarring. A guy like him will not change. He will abuse your sweet nature and your infatuation for him and then turn it on you when you react badly! pleeeease let him go while you still have dignity xxxxxxxx x x.

Hey babe, iv been throught the same thing too. My bf cheated on me a few times during our 5year relationship, n like u he managed to convince me it was me and i was paranoid, and somehow it was always me begging him to stay and saying i was sorry. Ino how hard it is bcz u worship the ground he walks and probably put ur all into ur relationship. But wen he wont give the same back its heartbreaking. I stayed with my bf for a couple years but i was never able to trust him. If he went to the shop to get milk i was paranoid he’d txt or call someone even if he genuinly just went to get milk, but i could never say it to him cz resulted in an arguement. U end up keeping alot to urself and it tears u up inside! Its very very hard but u need to get ur self worth back (maybe boobies are just wat u need), and realise u deserve alot better. Remember how angry and upset u felt wen u first found out and hold on to that feeling. Rather than b upset, get angry that someone thinks its ok to hurt u so bad wen the next minute they r telling u how much u mean to them. It easier said than done, ino but dont expect to feel fine after a week, or a month. At the end of the day u love this guy and its almost like uv gotta grieve for him. U couldnt get over a death in a month so dont expect to get over this. It could takes ages but deep down uno its the right thing to do. No matter wat anyone says to u, u will always do wat u want. Just remember ur not the only person who has been thru this n u wont b the last!!! Maybe in a year or 2 u will b giving the advice to someone else who needs it!! Sorry for the essay!!!!!!! Lol. Keep going girlie. Try and ignore him for a few days. Get ur head together and get angry!!!! Uno u can come on here n chat anytime u feel down!!! Frankie. Xxxxxxxxx

Hey are u young? Listen if a man can u like that he DONT love and respect you hes treatin u like a mug,somebody who he can go back to when othere women reject him! GIRLS…have some PRIDE! the 1st time it happens shame on him 2nd time shame on you! Find a man that deserves you! x x

My first husband cheated on me after spending the whole summer telling me our family and friends how happyhe was of then found out he was having an affair. He completely destroyed my confidence and faith in men. It took me a long time to trust again and let a another man in to mine and my sons life. I am now happily married to a kind caring man who adores me and our children, I would trust him with my life.

You are worth 100 of him hun, keep your head held high kick him to the curb and move on you really could do so much better than he is offering you. life is for living hun don’t get dragged down by someone who thinks that is acceptable, he won’t ever change but you can the situation you are in and be happy again.

I can’t explain just how fantastic it felt when I got myself back on my feet and by then he was desperate to come back, it felt so damn good to say no thanks I’ve moved on!

Be strong hun you deserve better xxx

Mercedes ur 20 babes! Move on! He does not deserve u lovely. He is obv loving the attention and loves it now that he has u right where he wants u, i.e. without a voice, as ur scared to say anything.

We are all here for u.

Im sure ur georgeous and even nicer than those girls

His loss babes xx

Thanks girls I feel like shit, I know I need to end it. My ex was a total prick n constantly put me down, was abit violent towards me n ll that crap, made me feel horrible so when my current boyfriend came along he made out he was taking me away from it all n was gonna make sure I’m happy n never have to go through that stuff again, but he’s just given me new insecuritys. I kno he’d never touch me or anything like that but I feel more hurt than I did before! Sorry just read through this n it sounds a bit like a pathetic sob story don’t wanna be moaning on it’s just I’m devastated that he can put me through this. I’m 20 so I kno I’m still young n there’s plenty more fish but I just thought he was the one I’d marry.

You girls are all so right it’s just hard to end it when in the position, as some of you know. I’m workin at the mo so spose to be meeting him later, I’m not gonna put myself thru this shit anymore, I just need to grow a pair by the time I see him tonight. Rrrrr feel done with men already!! Xxxxxx

Get rid think that’s the general consensus. You deserve better, it will hurt like hell at first but it WILL get better. You need all your friends any family around you and you be fine. Live the single life for a while it’s great ) xx

I kind of know how your feeling babe, as my boyfriend suddenly out of the blue last night told me he doesnt know whether he wants to be with me or not. Although he isnt a cheat or violent or anything like that im left devastated and my world is coming crashing down around me!! ive got a 3 year old son who has grown to love him practically like his own dad and this just doesnt seem fair!!

But like the girls have said, it will get better and no one deserves to be cheated on, head up high hun xxx

I second what all of the girls have said. You need to get rid! It will hurt like mad for a while but you are only 20 and you will get over it and become a stronger person! No-one will ever hurt you like this again. I feel for you I really do; some men are absolute pigs! Once other girls get a whif of what he is really like tho he’l be a very sad man, no-one will wanna go near him.

Stay strong, you can do this xx

You are not moaning or pathetic pLEASE have enough self worth to dump him!!!!! PleaSe be strong – if he still wants you in a years time and can prove to be treat you right then maybe you can give him a chance but do the hard thing today and you will be so thankful in years to come. I promise it’s The best thing you could honestly do. It will be agony for you to let him go. You will miss him and want to see him etc but DONT!!!!! He ll be charming and sweet and sexy tonight. But hey you are all those things and you’ll find that you become stronger and more attractive if you seriously can let him go. I am speaking the best sense and wisdom I can possibly give you. I WISH someone gave me this advice when I was 20!!!!

Oh ememz that’s awful you must be feelin so low right now did he give any reason?

Cheers girls you have all really helped me feel a little better. One of my closest mates has just given me a big independent woman speech so that helped aswel! Ha he’s always said he thought I was out of his league, gonna get rid of him n prove him right! xxxx

Defo Hun!! Hold your head up high and move the fudge on!! Your beautiful, strong, independent and you don’t let any man treat you like a piece of s**t or woman for that matter!! Lol xx

Dump him! Your feel good! then your start to miss him…delete hes number block him on facebook Keep busy And The feelin will pass…wait till u have had ur op an healed then go out there feelin confident and find a PROPER man worthy of ur time!! DONT be a mug,when u put up with crap ur lettin FEMALES EVERYWHERE down x x

Emmz! I’m so sorry Hun I have a confession I did that to my ex. We have 2 kids together as well, but he just wasn’t what I needed at the time. If he ain’t giving you a reason please don’t take it personally!! It’s probably him having a relationship melt down moment! Chin up Hun xx

there’s plenty of other fitties out there. If he’s not gonna treat me the way I treat him he’s not worth me crying over anymore. He’s got a funny shaped head anyway. Does mean itl take me alot longer to get my boobies tho he was ment to be paying half for me, n was expecting a new pap pap from him for Christmas n all ha god dammit xxxx

Omg!! U can do so much better than him Hunni , u have to move on he is never gonna change & he has proved that! I say once a cheater always a cheater !! They are waste of space! U need to go out their with ur head held high & show him that u can get someone much better a real man!! The more u focus on moving on the better & easier it becomes !! This only happens to the best of us we have all been in the same position, but sometimes u gotta make that change and move on don’t even think about him anymore think more about getting a real man who loves u and dent take u forgranted !! Good luck hunni xx

my friend has been on and off with her bf for nearly 4 years and they have just split up again after she found out he was cheating on her with someone else for the past 6 months! that will hve been the 8th girl he has slept with behind her back now..and yet she still txts him picks him up etc! first few times he cheated i wanted to be ther for her seen as tho its always been me whos had to tell her about it cause ive found out from other ppl but its got to the stage wer im sick of hearing about it! he cheats they split up she forgives him n takes him back so i just think well more fool her if she keeps going back and i dont see the point in been ther for her with it when i know shes gunna go back, you dont want ppl to think bad of you either and if you keep taking him back time and time again ppl will start to think more fool her sort of thing.

It must be awful for you but id get out now cause if you dont have the will power to do it now you never will and it will keep going round in circles and things wont change cause he knows u will always take him back. xx

oh hun i know exsactly how you feel, my little girls dad cheated on me, he would go out on a friday night and not come home untill the mon, i found a naked pic of a girl in his phone when i was 7mths pregnant.

people told me what a flirt and a cheat he was but he made out as if every1 was lying and i was paronoid.

anyway after 3 years off being off/on he again went out and didnt come home i left and have never looked back it was really hard at 1st but i spent 4 years being single concentrating on my daughter and myself and having fun.

im now with a lovely man who treats me like a princess and id trust him with my life and my ex is absoloutly gutted, he’s single and lonley and always tells me what a idiot he was for letting me go and i just laugh in his face.

it is hard hun but that sick feeling will go, people like him will never change go and find yourself someone who deserves you hun xx

Dya kno what I felt a little better this morning n now I just feel so down again. He’s finished work so menta be meetin me n I was planning to keep strong n tell him where to go. But he’s clearly not meeting me, been ringing him n all sorts. It’s like he’s just draining what dignity I have left, I must look so desperate. I know I shouldn’t be bothered but I feel I really need to see him right now. My days just been a right shitter n I’m gettin so stressed. Ffs I’m litteraly crumbling here, just wanna curl up in a corner xxxxxx

Chin up love. I know how you are feeling, been there , got the T shirt etc. Its that first step thats the hardest, but you can be strong and just tell him you dont want him and get on with your life. You will look back one day and think OMG why did I put up with him. You deserve to be treated with love kindness nd respect. No man or woman has the right to be mentaly cruel to another person. Grow some balls (LOL) and think of YOU mrs. XXX

You will have peeks and troughs of emotions Hun! Just stay as strong as you possibly can!! Don’t ring him one more time!! Put your phone away misses!! Lol. Honest just leave him to his immature ways xx

Your soooo much better than him hun, as hard as it sounds move on, he will be the one realizing what he has lost once he grows up. By the time he grows up you will be elsewhere and with someone that deserves you. Don your glad rags and get out there and do some partying x

What a massive twat! dump him and it will take a little while but you will realise how much happier and better off you are without a selfish prick like that! you sound like a really sweet girl who does not deserve this so get shot delete his number and dont take his calls! good luck! xx

Merc hun STOP texting riging and all coms with him! If he says he wants to meet u let him arrange it. I can garantee if u play it cool and srop trying to get in touch with him it will shock him into thinking u actually do have a bit control. He is being a complete dick to u.

Its the weeekeeend go out with the girlies enjoy urself and forhet him. Let him contact u, take a while to text him bk leave him hanging xxx

Sorry he sounds like a right PHUDI(Indian for C**T)get rid..

You’ve become needy and he can smell it a mile off, and as it stands now he has all the power. Dump him, stay strong, get your confidence back and guaranteed he’ll come crawling back like the filthy rat that he is. A manipulator is the worst. Ged rid or it/he will ruin you. Good luck hun. xx

hey i only read the first comment, get rid ASAP, your worth more than that, you need to be strong and work on your self esteem, and let someone else appreciate those boobies:) xxxxxx

Well I’ve done it. We had a talk n ge said with his new manager job he doesn’t have time for me. So I made it easier for him n finished it. I’m in absolute bits girls I didn’t kno I could cry this much. N now he’s textin me like fuck it Ill sort this out I cant loose you I love you want to spend my life with you blah blah blah. What a complete head fuck!

I thought I’d feel at least a little bit relieved after but I don’t at all. Oh girls this is killin me xxxx

stay strong hun, do you want to spend the next 5/10 years of your life going over and over the same things.

he’s messing with your head becouse he knows he can, dont let him continue your worth so much more.

show him the door and stick to it and when u meet someone who deserves you i promise ull look back and wonder why u stuck it for so long.

keep yourself as busy as possible and just dont take his calls xx

Aw hun, it will help, but you couldnt keep going in a relationship like that. You need a relationship where your both making equal time together, your not needy and you trust him. If he really wants you back then he will change and prove it to you.

But it will take a while for you to get over this, but be strong, you need time out for yourself, find yourself, get your confidence back so that you can deal with issue. Trust me ive been there, its not easy. But keep busying, dont stay angry at him, it just make you worse, put him to the back of your head. Were here for you hun, and in time you look back and realise what you did what right.

Focus on yourself now. Making yourself the best person you can be. The saying you cant make someone love you, but you be someone people loves, always help me. xxxx

Thankyou hun, you girls are all so amazing xxxx

Babes you will only cut the ties when you feel ready too. Its so easy for us to say get rid, and that is deffo what you should do, but you will only do it when you feel ready too. It’s awful to say it but you obviously haven’t hurt enough, it is even more awful to say that with fella’s like him it wont be long before you do. Rally the girls up! It’s fatty food, drink n girly chats you need right now! xxx

Well done love, first hurdle down. It’s not going to be easy. Do you have anyone near that can be with you? Being on your own right now isn’t a good idea, but we are here for you. Xx this is where you have to be strong. You are young, you need to get out enjoy life. I’m 47 and am just sorting my life out in my relationship. I don’t need a man to tell me what I can or can’t do and made to feel everything is my fault. Please don’t. Let him make you feel it’s your fault. He’s the loser. Life is for living. Enjoy your boobs and your life.xxx

Hi

Have been looking for ideas for my next tattoo, and I came across this really simple quote which I thought was really appropriate:

‘No-one can hurt you without your consent’ Eleanor Roosevelt

I spent 8 yrs in a really bad relationship, and went from being young outgoing and having my life in front of me to being a constant bag of nerves wondering whether I was good enough, whether he was cheating on me (he did at least twice that I knew of, even got another girl pregnant) and constantly being grateful for a day when I wasn’t crying or upset, then one day I got attacked on my way home from work and my boyfriend just didn’t understand what I was going though and would leave me in the house alone scared and wouldn’t come to court and all sorts, and at the time when I couldn’t have hit any lower I realised how much more I deserved. I let him get away with treating me like that for so long and forgave so much that in the end he knew I would take him back regardless of what he did, and breaking it off was so hard but the right thing to do. Of course he kept calling me to beg me to forgive him, that went on for 5 years until I took a harassment warning out on him! Am so much happier now, getting on with my life and realising that I am in control of my happiness and noone else. you will eventually find the strength but don’t turn round like I did after 8 years and wish you’d done it sooner. If you love someone you don’t treat them the way he is, and who doesn’t love you doesn’t deserve you x

Rrr girls your gettin me all emotional, it’s no nice to have all this support I can’t thank you all enough! I’ve polished off a bottle of wine so feeling decent but dreading how in gonna come crashing down in the morning

Princess76 that’s so awful hun I generally hope your so much happier now. I don’t understand how these c*nts can go around treating people like this I give up on um! Xxxxxx

Hey Hun, hope your doing ok this morning, try and stay positive. You will probably want to just lay about in bed! But, get yourself together and go swimming or gym or a walk or something, then get your girls together and go shopping to find you a bang tidy outfit for tonight! You go out and enjoy yourself! If you don’t want to go out, get the girls to come round and have wine and take away! Just keep busy and your chin up xx

Laurekate that is the best message I have ever seen. I WISh I had that when I was 20. I am walking living proof of every word you said x

Hi newkaren, I’ve just got work everyday till Thursday so it’s enough to keep me busy, really don’t feel up to it this mornin tho I’ll be all right it’s goin bed alone which is gonna be the hardest part. He’s been bombarding me with texts all night sayin I’m so sorry I love you so much, I cant be without you, I’m gonna do what it takes to make you mine again… It’s just makin it so much harder, right now all I want is to be back with him but I kno I really shouldn’t xxxx

Aw babe. Dont tb or answer him let him sweat for a bit its maybe what he needs to realise that he needs u and does love u!

it will show him ur a lot stronger than he obv thinks u are keep busy and take ur mind off him x

Put your phone off. Put it in a drawer -Stop looking at it. Otherwise you’ll be back in bed with him by tonigh!!!!! If you really know he s bad for you and he truly makes you unhappy. Walk away now – today- before he takes over your life! it will only get harder. If you don’t speak to him or contact himtoday. Tomorrow Wil be easier and so on…. X

This is for you mercedes! Xx

Check out this video on YouTube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7SLhPo30ds&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Sent from my iPhone

Ooh I’ve got another beyonce one – wise lady!

http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?bmb=1&v=tJkFU9YNdDc

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